Why do some people feel or think...

[magpie]

What I don't get is why people can't just let me do what I want. I don't mind when people want to be ambitious and have goals and dreams and passions. I think that's great. So how come if someone doesn't want or have those, they're like... less of a person?

Because people who use accomplishments to measure their own self worth also use accomplishments to measure everyone's worth.

 

[GIjade]

Yes.

Edit: [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] But according to Buddhism it all doesn't matter.

It doesn't.

 

[á´…eparted]

I guess I meant, why do people want to be famous and use their talents in a "big" way. What you've posted is pretty much how I feel, at least in some ways. Equating self worth with what you create in the external environment, I understand. But having to do that so the world will know of your accomplishments, so that others will look upon you as having accomplished something above and beyond what the average person does, I don't get.

People like to be seen, and people like to be valued (most anyway). People also want to stand out and be better than everyone, because they take it as having greater worth than the vast majority of the population. Many people derive self-worth off that. Using talent in a big manner puts it on display to many people all at once, and that sort of instant response of praise from people is taken as a strong indicator of worth. Some people put too much value in this, but that isn't inherently a bad thing. It really only becomes bad if they become completely dependent upon that, which does happen with decent frequency.

For me anyway, I wouldn't do what I do if others didn't see it. That recognition is validating to me, and it makes me feel good.

 

[Yama]

Because people who use accomplishments to measure their own self worth also use accomplishments to measure everyone's worth.

I see
I think I am worthless to a lot of people

 

[á´…eparted]

Because people who use accomplishments to measure their own self worth also use accomplishments to measure everyone's worth.

Not by default anyway. I use it to measure another persons worth, but it's not the only way I measure it too. There are many intangible forms of it that aren't shown readily. Ultimately though, all worth is somehow externalized. If someone didn't, they'd be a vegtable, and even those individuals still have worth.

 

[GIjade]

People like to be seen, and people like to be valued (most anyway). People also want to stand out and be better than everyone, because they take it as having greater worth than the vast majority of the population. Many people derive self-worth off that. Using talent in a big manner puts it on display to many people all at once, and that sort of instant response of praise from people is taken as a strong indicator of worth. Some people put too much value in this, but that isn't inherently a bad thing. It really only becomes bad if they become completely dependent upon that, which does happen with decent frequency.

Yeah, it isn't a matter of good or bad. I just wanted to understand why, as I'm not that way.

For me anyway, I wouldn't do what I do if others didn't see it. That recognition is validating to me, and it makes me feel good.

Great!

 

[GIjade]

I see
I think I am worthless to a lot of people

I didn't take that post as [MENTION=22178]hel[/MENTION] trying to demean you, rather to explain how other people can be real assholes by judging people like you and me as worthless, which of course we're not!

 

[Yama]

I didn't take that post as [MENTION=22178]hel[/MENTION] trying to demean you, rather to explain how other people can be real assholes by judging people like you and me as worthless, which of course we're not!

oh no no she's not trying to demean me at all, she's trying to cheer me up actually but thank you.

 

[Coriolis]

I see
I think I am worthless to a lot of people

That is their loss. It is enough for you to have worth to yourself, and to those you care about. If you have the resources to bring value to the broader community in some way, even better.

 

[Beargryllz]

But to others that might look like lack of ambition which you just shit on.

Yeah some people have shit for perceptive ability. Might as well correct them when they go astray. It's the least you can do.

 

[Mustafa]

Yeah some people have shit for perceptive ability. Might as well correct them when they go astray. It's the least you can do.

There are two ways to deal with problem social-wise, T solves problems and ignores emotions. F comforts, emotionally, and ignores problems.

 

[Forever]

There are two ways to deal with problem social-wise, T solves problems and ignores emotions. F comforts, emotionally, and ignores problems.

This is false.

 

[Mustafa]

Are you a girl?

 

[Cellmold]

This is a question I more often put to myself.

A lot of it is societal, the "you need this shit for a sense of worth" and that permeates throughout every country, nation, lost tribe still in existence. Shit being stuff (advertising, news influences etc... Cheers Bernays) or perhaps a spiritual angle which is held as traditional, or admiration towards a figure of power.

It's also internal and pulls on the notion of 'bottomless want' in people. Usually this is associated with greed and material wealth, but it's just as viable to associate it with a sense of accomplishment.

Leading people to constantly want more and more achievements to feed their self worth.

It's all very Faustian. But dissatisfaction is mired between internal and external worlds, which means looking for only a solution in one direction (usually external) just unbalances it further.

It's finding the point of almost pseudo-nirvana between not sticking to bad conditions you have the ability to change and not pushing every structure of achievement to the ground to make way for more without letting the others settle.

This is just the outline though, how some people manage to do this is fascinating and difficult to understand.