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Apologizing

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,667
Instinctual Variant
sp
I apologize too much irl but I think its better than refusing or being unable to
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Apologizing is not a big deal for me. I apologize when I need to effortlessly. But if I’m told to apologize or forced to, I just can’t for the sake of it.
I agree with this. I can make those simple in-the-moment apologies easily, the sort you make when you call someone by the wrong name or bump into them in line. It is almost impossible for me to apologize on demand. To me, an apology has to be voluntary and sincere to mean anything, otherwise it is just telling the other person what they want to hear. When I understand that I have hurt or inconvenienced someone, I will feel genuine remorse and offer a sincere apology, though I prioritize making amends and learning from the situation to avoid doing the same again. Likewise, I never expect or request apologies from others. It is enough for them to acknowledge whatever they did and try to do better.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I'm sorry I was born, because if I wasn't I wouldn't have to be aware of your existence

Or

Sorry for running into you, door

I have a hard time apologizing to people when someone makes me. But once I know how much the person is hurting and I was the cause of it then I have no problem with it. But if I hate the person or am mad at them I have a hard time apologizing
 

LillyRoar

Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2021
Messages
40
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I agree with this. I can make those simple in-the-moment apologies easily, the sort you make when you call someone by the wrong name or bump into them in line. It is almost impossible for me to apologize on demand. To me, an apology has to be voluntary and sincere to mean anything, otherwise it is just telling the other person what they want to hear. When I understand that I have hurt or inconvenienced someone, I will feel genuine remorse and offer a sincere apology, though I prioritize making amends and learning from the situation to avoid doing the same again. Likewise, I never expect or request apologies from others. It is enough for them to acknowledge whatever they did and try to do better.

100% agree with this. Apologizing or saying sorry is just a socially common/acceptable way of making peace. But without the right intention the word is at best empty. At worst it’s even more provoking and will result in more aggression. The goal is taking responsibility and acknowledging our wrong doings so that we can carry on. That can be attained by apologizing or in other clear ways showing by tone or actions. I think if you focus on the intention/goal the word is less important/loaded.
 
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