Humbleness as a strategy to gain bragging rights

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Some people speak of humbleness and humility as a virtue. Yet I see many of the same people employ this thing I consider as their social tactic: let others brag more, then steal the show by showing how you've bragged less than the other guy, so you can get points for being the real deal AND a humble guy, unlike that deceiving bragger.

In return, I'm asking: do you gain bragging rights for bragging less than the other guy? Where are the lines between bragging, humility and humblebrag?

What kind of people believe themselves and the others to be humble when they're employing the humblebrag tactic?

 

[Kheledon]

Absolutely. Socionics predicts this behavior from members of the Alpha Quadrant, and I have seen it in action. It works.

Therefore, for Alpha Quadra it is important to defend their honor before the public and in public places, or in the press, to set up some kind of "loud" scandal, in which they are able to attract the greatest number of witnesses and sympathizers.

...

The "declaring" "sensing of sensations" aspect of Alpha Quadra (Si) – is crude, rough, grounding and base (in its extreme expressions), and works to their self-assertion in a dispute. They aren't shy in sensory and emotional expressions – for too much is at stake: the struggle for material resources, rights, and opportunities, that are all scarce – this is a struggle for life or death. The struggle for survival here is not a joke: Alpha "program" sensing type SEI Dumas (+Si / -Fe) won't allow himself or his children to perish, but will fight for survival until the end; if not for himself, then at least for the sake of the children – and will stop at nothing if he wants to overcome his opposition.

Socionics - the16types.info - Alpha Quadra: The Complex of Closed Mouth by Stratiyevskaya

Being "humble" is ISFp's preferred method for generating sympathy and "winning" the life-and-death struggle they feel for access to the limited resources of the planet.

Just look at this post as an example ...

http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...-isfp-estp-istp-/27931-sps-walls-texts-5.html

 

[ceecee]

Some people speak of humbleness and humility as a virtue. Yet I see many of the same people employ this thing I consider as their social tactic: let others brag more, then steal the show by showing how you've bragged less than the other guy, so you can get points for being the real deal AND a humble guy, unlike that deceiving bragger.

In return, I'm asking: do you gain bragging rights for bragging less than the other guy? Where are the lines between bragging, humility and humblebrag?

What kind of people believe themselves and the others to be humble when they're employing the humblebrag tactic?

The same people who say things like - I'll pray for you. If praying was actually done for the person being prayed for, it wouldn't need to be spoken. They would just pray for the person. By advertising praying, others hear or read that you're praying for someone, a better idea would be to pray with the person. But leaving it at - I'll pray for you - is just a blatant attempt to score points with a segment of the population and it can be pointed out later. Just like minimal bragging can be used as ammo later on.

I prayed for this person. This means I'm a good person. Praying makes me feel like I'm doing something. I believe the praying helps.

None of that is directed at the person being prayed for. The person being prayed for is incidental.

 

[Tilt]

Some people speak of humbleness and humility as a virtue. Yet I see many of the same people employ this thing I consider as their social tactic: let others brag more, then steal the show by showing how you've bragged less than the other guy, so you can get points for being the real deal AND a humble guy, unlike that deceiving bragger.

In return, I'm asking: do you gain bragging rights for bragging less than the other guy? Where are the lines between bragging, humility and humblebrag?

What kind of people believe themselves and the others to be humble when they're employing the humblebrag tactic?

Well, when people overtly brag, they are pretty much exposing all their cards so the people who brag less typically have the upper hand. The people who tend to humblebrag are usually the perceived "underdog", submissive types who are trying assert their power, control through more subtle means. Truly humble people don't really the feel the need to prove themselves to others or the world.

In all honesty, I wish I could be more humble.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

Overt bragging lowers my opinion of someone automatically. They're projecting their values on me, which is often insulting, and they're telling me that their personality isn't sufficient to be lovable. So I figure I don't want to be around these people. Besides that, things can be inferred. It is a waste of silence to say them. There's exceptions to this though, when sometimes overt bragging is okay, such as a job interview or other instances when you need to establish qualifications for imparting knowledge.

A humble-brag is still a brag. An example of this would be "my friend offered my husband a job in Hawaii, but they couldn't afford him. With all the benefits and salary increases, it would take X amount of dollars for it to be worth it." So, I find out the salary, and that her husband is making such-n-such money without her directly saying it. The humble-brag is worse because she's not established that she is bragging, so it is hard to retort to it.
Being truly humble is the way to go.

I associate overt bragging with Sensing types, although both types do it.

 

[prplchknz]

this isn't humility. as soon as you start bragging about how little you have and how that makes you great you are no longer humble.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

this isn't humility. as soon as you start bragging about how little you have and how that makes you great you are no longer humble.

I've seen something like this work before. This lady was bragging about how much money her husband makes and being a bore. Then my friend said "I love my husband so much, I'd live in a shack with him." And everyone was like "awww, that's so sweet," and the bragging lady's face turned red, and she yelled, "Don't you want your husband to be a provider?!?!"

My friend was still bragging, about how much she loved her husband, but we all appreciated her shutting down the braggart. She won that round.

 

[Jaq]

this isn't humility. as soon as you start bragging about how little you have and how that makes you great you are no longer humble.

This sums up my thoughts on the subject fairly well.

 

[prplchknz]

I've seen something like this work before. This lady was bragging about how much money her husband makes and being a bore. Then my friend said "I love my husband so much, I'd live in a shack with him." And everyone was like "awww, that's so sweet," and the bragging lady's face turned red, and she yelled, "Don't you want your husband to be a provider?!?!"

My friend was still bragging, about how much she loved her husband, but we all appreciated her shutting down the braggart. She won that round.

this is different this is shutting someone up. but if she went around and every chance she got to say how she lives in a shack with her husband then that would be what i was talking about.

 

[Flâneuse]

On occasion, I have used the social tactic of appearing humble in order to come across as more likeable and endearing, and as a way to look and feel superior to (what I see as) the crass and obnoxious overt braggarts. Instead of humblebragging (a brag masked by a complaint), I just appear to be a peaceful, quiet, humble person, while that image is secretly something I have pride in. (I very much relate to the "ego in having no ego" part of e9 descriptions, which of course is still EGO.) I'm socially aware enough to see that overt bragging* (and especially humblebragging**) are very off-putting to most people and adjust my presentation accordingly. Of course, this is just a sneakier form of narcissism that no one has ever called me out on because it's so hard to detect. I do want to develop more genuine humility, though, which means being true to myself instead of being preoccupied with portraying an image, and not feeling the need to boost my self-regard by comparing myself to others.

*bragging example - "I'm so gorgeous I don't need makeup."
**humblebragging example - "Ugh, I walk out of the house in sweatpants, without-makeup and I still get constant catcalls! I hate it!"

 

[Yama]

If you use humility as an excuse to brag then you are, by definition, not humble

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

No life philosophy can be totally without contradictions. I understand the occasional need for a humble person to state that their way is the best. It's just that some people seem all too eager to get their "humble award" and to cash it in.

I'm okay with people who are in peace and feel highly of themselves. Just this thinly guised "you bragged first" -argument what boggles my mind.

 

[á´…eparted]

The same people who say things like - I'll pray for you. If praying was actually done for the person being prayed for, it wouldn't need to be spoken. They would just pray for the person. By advertising praying, others hear or read that you're praying for someone, a better idea would be to pray with the person. But leaving it at - I'll pray for you - is just a blatant attempt to score points with a segment of the population and it can be pointed out later. Just like minimal bragging can be used as ammo later on.

I prayed for this person. This means I'm a good person. Praying makes me feel like I'm doing something. I believe the praying helps.

None of that is directed at the person being prayed for. The person being prayed for is incidental.

I agree with you, but I am not so sure about the motivation here. As far as I can tell when people say "I'll pray for you", is a way of them showing support. To them they're going to think "I'm going to pray for them, but it will have more impact and make them feel supported to know I am going to do this". Simply because (despite what other people might claim) you can not feel anything when someone prays for you and you know nothing about it. I suspect the humble-brad thing by saying "I'll pray for you" is a consolation prize or bonus. Hence they'll keep doing it because they also get a feeling of "I am a good person!".

There are other reasons why that carry slightly more weight, but the above is why I get pissed when someone says "I'll pray for you". I will reply "please don't, you are doing the opposite of helping by doing that". I've always gotten the "oh, ok?" response, thankfully. Cause if someone pushed it I'd quickly get nasty/rude.

 

[indra]

People notice, if that's what you're getting at.

 

[Thalassa]

The same people who say things like - I'll pray for you. If praying was actually done for the person being prayed for, it wouldn't need to be spoken. They would just pray for the person. By advertising praying, others hear or read that you're praying for someone, a better idea would be to pray with the person. But leaving it at - I'll pray for you - is just a blatant attempt to score points with a segment of the population and it can be pointed out later. Just like minimal bragging can be used as ammo later on.

I prayed for this person. This means I'm a good person. Praying makes me feel like I'm doing something. I believe the praying helps.

None of that is directed at the person being prayed for. The person being prayed for is incidental.

Actually it's often intended to comfort the other person, like a means of showing support, so I think you're paranoid about this or really hate religion.

UNLESS it's done sarcastically or passive-aggressive, like someone saying it in the same tone as "well bless your heart." Then it's bad, but it isn't always. ..especially from Fe users raised in church.

 

[Santosha]

Ya, it is just another tactic used in the ongoing race to be better than others. More successful, beautiful, liked, intelligent, insightful, spiritual. Moar humble.

For a long time, I identified as a person who greatly valued humility. And I inwardly thought I was better, in some regard, than the obvious braggarts.

SO now I get to feel 'better' about seeing through this game.

And it just goes on and on like that, until you decide fuck it. You don't care anymore about being better.

You just want to follow what makes you feel joy and passion.

Of course, it might just be another 'better' too.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

No life philosophy can be totally without contradictions. I understand the occasional need for a humble person to state that their way is the best. It's just that some people seem all too eager to get their "humble award" and to cash it in.

I'm okay with people who are in peace and feel highly of themselves. Just this thinly guised "you bragged first" -argument what boggles my mind.

It's two insecure people who get together and compete with each other. Both will walk away saying the other was bragging. Um. More like maybe those two aren't that good of friends as they think they are to each other. They cannot let another have a turn in the spotlight.

 

[Haven]

I think you get bragging rights if you do more with less than the other guy, like maybe we both ran a race and you beat me, but I'd still get bragging rights if I was carrying my grandmother who is battling cancer the whole way. There are lots of similar little victories that we can turn into bragging rights. Actual bragging is completely optional.

 

[Cellmold]

I'm just the best, but I'll never tell.

 

[Chrysanthe]

I find it unfair when people lash out against those who brag about their accomplishments and positive characteristics when someone who's humble may be feeling the exact same way except lying about it in front of you.