How Do You Come Across

[Litsnob]

Communication online is difficult, with the lack of facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Do you think you come across accurately online or not? If not, how do you compensate for that? How does it affect you when you aren't read as you intended?

 

[Amargith]

EMOTICONS!!!!!!



....

 

[Yama]

I think I come off accurately enough online. And I always ask for people to ask questions or correct me if I'm wrong to prevent misunderstandings from happening if it's a long/thoughtful post. I don't mind using as many words as I need to to get the point across. And when all else fails, there are smilies.

 

[CitizenErased]

I don't think I used to make myself understand perfectly in the past, though I learnt how to express myself better with the time. I have penpals I exchange 10.000-word emails with and we express ourselves in a convoluted way, mostly when talking about feelings, ideas, ideals and topics of the sort. I do have a problem with sarcasm. I tend to use it a lot in verbal conversations, but I try to avoid it when writing. Unless I'm sending a message to people who know me well and get what I mean.
IM is more or less the same. I'm not the kind that reduces words or sentences. My messages are all little paragraphs (or not so little).

Though, now that I think of it, I might not be the best person to answer this, because I think I express myself better in written instances than in spoken ones. I'm just a listening flower pot and I just say yes/no/mmh/probably or I argue. I can't convey my ideas into words to say, but I do in words to write.

(English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistakes I might have committed)

 

[Litsnob]

I don't think I used to make myself understand perfectly in the past, though I learnt how to express myself better with the time. I have penpals I exchange 10.000-word emails with and we express ourselves in a convoluted way, mostly when talking about feelings, ideas, ideals and topics of the sort. I do have a problem with sarcasm. I tend to use it a lot in verbal conversations, but I try to avoid it when writing. Unless I'm sending a message to people who know me well and get what I mean.
IM is more or less the same. I'm not the kind that reduces words or sentences. My messages are all little paragraphs (or not so little).

Though, now that I think of it, I might not be the best person to answer this, because I think I express myself better in written instances than in spoken ones. I'm just a listening flower pot and I just say yes/no/mmh/probably or I argue. I can't convey my ideas into words to say, but I do in words to write.

(English is not my mother tongue, so I apologize for any mistakes I might have committed)

You do just fine in English, I think. I am always impressed by people who can communicate in more than one language and English is so illogical that cannot be helpful.

I have a dry sense of humour and use sarcasm but even in face to face conversation I will often be deadpan and think that the other person will know it is humour. So, I guess that is my social skills deficiency. I express myself well in writing if no emotion is involved or if I am not attempting humour.

Thanks for your detailed answer. I like detailed answers and I like paragraphs too!

 

[Litsnob]

EMOTICONS!!!!!!



....

I replied to this. Either my reply was eaten or I am blind.

 

[á´…eparted]

The differencr between me online and me in person is very small. The only key difference is I am less frequently aggressive in person.

 

[Kullervo]

The difference between me online and me offline is that I can choose to create whatever impression I like, and guide people's imaginations to the image I want them to see.

Nobody really knows me, even offline. I guess it is an open question whether I like that or not.

 

[Litsnob]

The differencr between me online and me in person is very small. The only key difference is I am less frequently aggressive in person.

That's the somewhat disturbing thing about being online. It is definitely easier to be more aggressive here, however we happen to manifest aggression. I imagine it is usually that we have much less invested in our online interactions.

 

[Litsnob]

The difference between me online and me offline is that I can choose to create whatever impression I like, and guide people's imaginations to the image I want them to see.

Nobody really knows me, even offline. I guess it is an open question whether I like that or not.

I usually find that I am initially attracted to this idea of nobody really knowing me and then find I dislike it because I am so driven to be understood. I consider my online interactions an attempt to toughen myself up a little-ie, I try to expose myself to the chance I will be misunderstood and this will hurt me but I can learn to get over it faster.

 

[á´…eparted]

That's the somewhat disturbing thing about being online. It is definitely easier to be more aggressive here, however we happen to manifest aggression. I imagine it is usually that we have much less invested in our online interactions.

Well no, my aggression level is about the same. I just don't feel compelled to use it as frequently in person. Largely because I am much more easily able to avoid people that would require me to do it so overtly.

Anything I say on here I am quite capable of saying directly to their face.

 

[Litsnob]

Well no, my aggression level is about the same. I just don't feel compelled to use it as frequently in person. Largely because I am much more easily able to avoid people that would require me to do it so overtly.

Anything I say on here I am quite capable of saying directly to their face.

Thank you for clarifying. I like your point about the ease of avoiding people offline being greater than online. I think that is what you are saying. Frequently online communication is in public forums so yes, I can have a conversation here with you and have no control over who else views it or joins in and comments, how they perceive me or how they react to me. That is actually a very difficult thing for me and I essentially come online to practice it. I am probably nor honest and direct online because I believe there is less at stake. Not that I am dishonest offline but I employ tact and discretion more often. If it will offend someone and there is no need to say it, then usually i won't.

 

[Mole]

Communication online is difficult, with the lack of facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Do you think you come across accurately online or not? If not, how do you compensate for that? How does it affect you when you aren't read as you intended?

It is obvious to me online that most don't respond to what I say, but rather they unconsciously express their own feelings.

Offline it is different, offline I don't focus on myself, rather I focus on the other person. I can see exactly how they are feeling right in front of me, and I can see exactly how they respond to everything I say.

And strange as this may seem, I tailor what I say to make them laugh. I do this with a deadpan face so it seems they laugh spontaneously.

I am very successful at this and do it 2, 3, or 4 times every day.

It does seem strange to me that I make others laugh but don't laugh myself.

But yesterday my chaplain told me that if I make others laugh, I don't need to laugh myself.

 

[five sounds]

Not sure about online or in real life how I actually come across. It's something I wonder about a lot though.

 

[Lia_kat]

I'm not really sure how I come across online. In real life I'm more aware of it because I've been told by other people.

 

[Chrysanthe]

唯一の私は右の考え方にアクセスした場合、私はすべての人のコックを吸うだろう!?

 

[Poki]

I think I come across pretty accurately. Now compared to IRL, 99% of the people would deem me as quite and don't talk much. Those I really know and am around alot have seen otherwise.

 

[miss fortune]

I apparently come across as lighter and more expressive on here than I am in real life... I learned to use emoticons in order to lighten my words and how to use nicer phrasings for things because internet people don't know if you're joking and I didn't care to make everyone hate me straight off

 

[Tilt]

I would like to think my written communication accurately conveys me because my main mode of communication for work is through texts and emails...to address issues and brainstorm ideas. But who really knows?

 

[Galena]

I wish I had more of a clue how I came off in real life and here. From the inklings I've heard, I come off as more hesitant than I realize IRL, but more solid than I realize online.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Except not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, as I coincidentally just joined a speaking class today to work on this and seek feedback.