your mental illness is NOT an excuse to be an asshole

[GIjade]

Easy to say, but hard to do.

I disagree. It's not hard to do. What's hard to do is to like that person, or try to find a way to agree with them. But simply understanding them isn't hard at all.

 

[Kullervo]

I disagree. It's not hard to do. What's hard to do is to like that person, or try to find a way to agree with them. But simply understanding them isn't hard at all.

Are you speaking for yourself or more generally?

If the latter, look around you and you'll find that many people make no effort to understand others. If the former, maybe you think you understand someone...but hearing and listening are not the same thing. Do you understand me? Of course not, how could you? But you might think you do, and that "arrogance" is a common Ni-Fe problem which I'm not immune to.

I am not meaning to be a dick here, just point out the layers of "understanding". Take empathy and sympathy for example. We can probably feel sympathy for each other. Say I broke my toe on a post and you were walking past, you might feel sorry for me and want to help out. That is awesome and more than most people would do today. But empathy is more than that: it is living in someone else's shoes and not easy to do. I would count myself as more naturally capable of it than many people yet I often struggle.

 

[GIjade]

Are you speaking for yourself or more generally?

Generally. Anyone can understand someone else if they take their emotions out of it and listen to the other person.

If the latter, look around you and you'll find that many people make no effort to understand others. If the former, maybe you think you understand someone...but hearing and listening are not the same thing.

I didn't say that many people make an effort, I agree, most don't. But it is possible.

Do you understand me? Of course not, how could you? But you might think you do, and that "arrogance" is a common Ni-Fe problem which I'm not immune to.

OMG, do you have issues. Of course I don't understand you, we haven't even engaged in a conversation that would allow that. I am not one of your "arrogant" problem people. If you and I sat down and you wanted to tell me about yourself, and ask me to try to understand your issue(s), I would. But on a forum it's kinda difficult.

I am not meaning to be a dick here, just point out the layers of "understanding". Take empathy and sympathy for example. We can probably feel sympathy for each other. Say I broke my toe on a post and you were walking past, you might feel sorry for me and want to help out. That is awesome and more than most people would do today. But empathy is more than that: it is living in someone else's shoes and not easy to do. I would count myself as more naturally capable of it than many people yet I often struggle.

OK, great, but so am I. Don't assume shit about me, when you haven't even talked to me.

 

[miss fortune]

knock it off guys, before it escalates and I have to do something about it


and on another note, I DO understand how mental illness is not treated the same as physical by a lot of people and as mad as I get at work one of the things I really appreciate about the place is that they DON'T treat them as different in policies and such. on another note, it's not like it's something that I'm going to be particularly open about because I work in a leadership position in a department where I'm one of the only girls... if I came out and said something like "hey guys, I'm bipolar and I'm getting my meds readjusted at the moment, so would you mind cutting me a bit of slack on things because I feel like crap?" that wouldn't really fly people suck that way

but on a different note, I've also kept it off of the forum because there are plenty of people on here who would make the same sort of judgments... people who would be happy to question my decisions and accuse me of being off my meds or something if I tell them to stop doing something or scold them for something in an official capacity... this site, even if it is a personality site, can be complete monsters about things of the sort to some people. I've kept it off of the forum as well because you guys are not responsible for my mental health and you guys do not deserve to have me treat you like shit because I'm not feeling great at that time... that wouldn't be fair to you.