Brooding

[Avocado]

Why do we Brood?

I for one, am always irritable and consumed by very dark and heavy moods. Part the answer to my question, personally speaking, is that I feel a moral obligation to look at the painful, darker side of life. I also subsist by forcing myself to do things I don't want to do since I need to do such unpleasant and uninteresting things to survive. In addition, it feels like it would be wrong to not always be upset. As a result I tend to do nothing unless I have to do something, then I'm really unhappy when I have to do anything because I'd just as soon crawl under a rock somewhere and think about all the dark and disturbing things in the world. This is probably also why I dislike happy, optimistic people, since they come across as disingenuous, shallow, and inauthentic. Of course, I say and do ungeniune things all the time to survive, which adds to my self-loathing, but nothing can be done about that.

What is the psychological benefit of endless rumination and sadness? What is its ethical and biological appeal? Why can't we just let it go? I believe I could function better if I wasn't weighted down with so much sentimentality and pensiveness, and actually had a real goal besides just subsisting. It is a futile cycle that leads nowhere.

I feel more and more like my depression therapist is just a quack, and though my Zoloft helps a little, it just changes things from black to grey.

 

[Dyslexxie]

To some degree I think the negative moods can either ruin you or help you build a better coping mechanism over the years. I read a study that similar to future planning, brooding (or rumination - seems to be the common description of the state), helps the individual focus their stress and goals towards a certain future - of course, rumination is geared towards what could go wrong, while future planning is about what could happen. Different results but similar thought patterns. The study looked at the positive impacts of what this state could have on the individual, and it found it to be an effective method of coping if the individual can channel it effectively.

I've found deeply intelligent people are more likely to get caught in these cycles and have a tougher time breaking free of the spiraling effect. I have a degree of admiration for it, because while I think I'm too shallow to truly experience what those like yourself do, you're able to feel emotions on a different level than I can. I don't think I've truly felt more alive than when I've completely bottomed out emotionally, but I've also never felt more in control of where things could go from there. To some degree, the apathy a lot of us feel is a lot more damaging than the emotional trauma, because at least you're forced to find some way to cope (even if out of a simple basic need to not hurt), while we're here living too complacently to change our outcomes.

EDIT: Here's the study I was talking about. Let me know if the attachment works: View attachment 166704.pdf

 

[Avocado]

To some degree I think the negative moods can either ruin you or help you build a better coping mechanism over the years. I read a study that similar to future planning, brooding (or rumination - seems to be the common description of the state), helps the individual focus their stress and goals towards a certain future - of course, rumination is geared towards what could go wrong, while future planning is about what could happen. Different results but similar thought patterns. The study looked at the positive impacts of what this state could have on the individual, and it found it to be an effective method of coping if the individual can channel it effectively.

I've found deeply intelligent people are more likely to get caught in these cycles and have a tougher time breaking free of the spiraling effect. I have a degree of admiration for it, because while I think I'm too shallow to truly experience what those like yourself do, you're able to feel emotions on a different level than I can. I don't think I've truly felt more alive than when I've completely bottomed out emotionally, but I've also never felt more in control of where things could go from there. To some degree, the apathy a lot of us feel is a lot more damaging than the emotional trauma, because at least you're forced to find some way to cope (even if out of a simple basic need to not hurt), while we're here living too complacently to change our outcomes.

EDIT: Here's the study I was talking about. Let me know if the attachment works: View attachment 15041

I'll be honest...I'm so angry, depressed, and disgusted all the time I physically manifest it as poor health. Combine this with a sense of moral duty to be miserable, and no outlet to release those feelings. I have no choice but to turn eternally inward and fight myself.

 

[GIjade]

So that's what you think, do ya?