Gizmo
New member
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2015
- Messages
- 98
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 458
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I've been thinking with a lot of depth recently about how I began as a person, and factors that I know about myself from birth and the effects on my typology being a 5w4 sx/sp.
I was born with nerve damage in both my left and right ears. I've been (supposedly) wearing hearing aids since I was 6, and now I'm 22. Growing up I never thought of it to be a good or bad thing, but as something I was always going to have to work with, and I feel that a majority of my social insecurity falls upon my lack of hearing to be an excuse I let others make for me, as a means to simply hide my emotions. Then on the flip side I've had an amazing life!
When I'm working on the road everyone listens when I speak. I spent all day toning out the construction road head grease talk (bullshiting/small talk.) Until someone tells me the slightest thing real, and I get to present a true memorable story every single day, and when I get to share that with people... They listen... They listen as intently as I have to attempt to be half way though conversation. With this strategy people trust me, and better yet everybody learns to communicate differently when they talk to me.
Having bad hearing would make most people an expert at reading lips (which I do well), but once I know a person, and have gotten on a trustworthy level direct, and professional communication wise... Body language become my primary language as I learn patterns... Body language, and gestures rarely if ever lie.
Anyways those are just examples of how a lot of my strategy has had to evolve around "my exuse" for that extreme Lack of Se, as I have a strongly developed Ni. My Te and extraverted judging has actually recently gotten significantly more developed. I suspect this to be due to being on my own for just about a year now, and the way my professional motivations, and energy have changed also.
The crazy part though is the 5w4 sx/sp part. I just started studying the enneagram maybe 2weeks ago, but I feel like I have put quite a bit of research in an kinda sewed together what I could. Starting from the dominant instinctual variant Sx is a strong drive for intensity. Every since I was little I've past my way through so many extreme and well engineered sports. I'd be going from school, football, robotics, tech club, and boy scouts all in one day. I probably would have done well socially, if I didn't have such artsy interest to go along with all of my intense hobbies. What kind of football star has a desire to skip practice for building robots, and who day dreams of visiting an art museum, and learning ballet before a trip to summit K2 ( the mountain.)
The sp... Well that's seems to just tie itself into my strategy after my drive for intensity tends to through my into some situations... Uhmmm hummmn. Anyways I understand the 5w4 part itself is rather typical of an INTJ, 5s are very analytical, and visual thinkers, and being a visual thinker is a given with my hearing situation, and the 4 really goes along with the intensity of my hidden emotion, that has a strange longing to be expressed. I also know that I'm a five, because of how I present myself to others... I'm very cold, aloof, and intellect is the only language I care to speak, and emotions is for behind closed doors, and also probable under mentally stimulating circumstances... Otherwise I'm described as a very withdrawn and reserved individual. I would agree and say that I'm definitely detached...
Anyways with no future ado, thanks if you managed to read all the way though, and all feedback is welcomed.
Thank you.
I was born with nerve damage in both my left and right ears. I've been (supposedly) wearing hearing aids since I was 6, and now I'm 22. Growing up I never thought of it to be a good or bad thing, but as something I was always going to have to work with, and I feel that a majority of my social insecurity falls upon my lack of hearing to be an excuse I let others make for me, as a means to simply hide my emotions. Then on the flip side I've had an amazing life!
When I'm working on the road everyone listens when I speak. I spent all day toning out the construction road head grease talk (bullshiting/small talk.) Until someone tells me the slightest thing real, and I get to present a true memorable story every single day, and when I get to share that with people... They listen... They listen as intently as I have to attempt to be half way though conversation. With this strategy people trust me, and better yet everybody learns to communicate differently when they talk to me.
Having bad hearing would make most people an expert at reading lips (which I do well), but once I know a person, and have gotten on a trustworthy level direct, and professional communication wise... Body language become my primary language as I learn patterns... Body language, and gestures rarely if ever lie.
Anyways those are just examples of how a lot of my strategy has had to evolve around "my exuse" for that extreme Lack of Se, as I have a strongly developed Ni. My Te and extraverted judging has actually recently gotten significantly more developed. I suspect this to be due to being on my own for just about a year now, and the way my professional motivations, and energy have changed also.
The crazy part though is the 5w4 sx/sp part. I just started studying the enneagram maybe 2weeks ago, but I feel like I have put quite a bit of research in an kinda sewed together what I could. Starting from the dominant instinctual variant Sx is a strong drive for intensity. Every since I was little I've past my way through so many extreme and well engineered sports. I'd be going from school, football, robotics, tech club, and boy scouts all in one day. I probably would have done well socially, if I didn't have such artsy interest to go along with all of my intense hobbies. What kind of football star has a desire to skip practice for building robots, and who day dreams of visiting an art museum, and learning ballet before a trip to summit K2 ( the mountain.)
The sp... Well that's seems to just tie itself into my strategy after my drive for intensity tends to through my into some situations... Uhmmm hummmn. Anyways I understand the 5w4 part itself is rather typical of an INTJ, 5s are very analytical, and visual thinkers, and being a visual thinker is a given with my hearing situation, and the 4 really goes along with the intensity of my hidden emotion, that has a strange longing to be expressed. I also know that I'm a five, because of how I present myself to others... I'm very cold, aloof, and intellect is the only language I care to speak, and emotions is for behind closed doors, and also probable under mentally stimulating circumstances... Otherwise I'm described as a very withdrawn and reserved individual. I would agree and say that I'm definitely detached...
Anyways with no future ado, thanks if you managed to read all the way though, and all feedback is welcomed.
Thank you.
