Your experiences with mental illness

[danseen]

People who live with a mental illness can attest to the fact that it is very real and often debilitating.

Of course. Though I hold a bias, since i think many of the old notions still persist.

 

[magpie]

I've been diagnosed with

ADHD
Somatization Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Social Phobia
Anorexia
Bulemia
Eating Disorder NOS
Major Depressive Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder

I think that's it, unless I was ever diagnosed with something without my knowledge, which is a real possibility.

I've not been diagnosed with

PTSD
CPTSD

but I think I probably have one of those two things with psychogenic amnesia and maybe a bit of catatonia, if we're just talking about mental illnesses.

I like that it's ironic.

 

[Dyslexxie]

When I moved to Canada years ago as a child I developed SAD, which is a given considering it's always cold and gloomy here. In my teens I had major depression but after my hormones calmed down, it's now categorized as dysthymia for which I'm not even medicated anymore (yay!).

 

[EJCC]

^ I have a bit of SAD too. I've found ways of coping with it -- including waking up to a DIY light alarm clock every morning, and getting outside when it's light out, as much as I can. Hopefully this will continue as the winter gets darker and darker.

I was depressed for 4 months during my senior year of college -- diagnosed as "adjustment disorder with depressed mood", or "situational depression". I could still function, mostly, but my academic work was terrible (thank god for grade inflation! I didn't work hard enough for those As and Bs), I missed a lot of classes, and I became obsessed with self-punishment, both mental and physical. Thinking about it is still kind of triggering and upsetting, three years later.

 

[Amargith]

I recently got a check-up to confirm some of my own suspicions. While the analysis is ongoing, the preliminary results were:

- Some form of Anxiety Disorder
- Indication of a severe Depression throughout my 20s - with remaining effects lingering still.
- Eating Disorder

I honestly have been figuring this out and working through those things most of my life on my own (for various reasons, it wasn't an option to get help, so I had to). It looks like I'm nearing the end of a very, very long and exhausting tunnel though and I did these sessions really just to check I'm on the right track, get the validation I need to move on and ask for any possible short cuts coz I'm seriously tired of this bullshit already. I'd like my life back.

I actually specifically asked about Narcissism as I was terrified that my dad passed that one on to me, but those results were negative, thankfully.

So far my own brand of self-reflection without need for medication is doing the trick, as is the recent addition of having someone to soundboard off and mirror back, to speed things up a bit and get a better oversight of what I still have to tackle. It's hard to be patient and give the process its due time, though, and a lot more work than I ever fathomed.

 

[geedoenfj]

I'm sorry for all of you guys..
I haven't been diagnosed with any mental illnesses, but my son have ASD

 

[nonsequitur]

I've blogged about it before in detail, but I have generalised anxiety with OCD (dermatillomania which started when I was a kid and repetitive/compulsive/counting behaviours but was never formally diagnosed because it doesn't interfere with my life). This, together with life events, pushed me into a deep clinical depression. I'm also schizoid but don't view that as an illness anymore.

I was suicidal, took various medications for 3 years, have been off them (and stable) for the last 2 years, and self-monitor constantly for a relapse. To maintain balance I exercise, practice mindfulness and eat healthily. Some think that I have an eating disorder because I'm pretty rigid about diet, but I am aware that the OCD could take over so I make rules to stop myself from counting calories and regularly schedule meals where I must eat "off-plan" (in good portions). I also am careful not to classify foods in moral terms. Awareness about my condition helps me to head off such tendencies.

Mental illness is very debilitating. It has nothing to do with willpower or strength, and the stigma is so damaging. I don't advocate for/against medication - everyone is different, and I can say that in my case in particular, it stabilised me enough so that I could work out some issues without hurting myself. I wouldn't be alive without them, but I never wanted to be on them long-term. That is why I opened myself to therapy, committed to learn coping skills, and tapered myself off at the least stressful time in my life. Others may need to take meds long-term - people with a stronger biological susceptibility, maybe. I might need them again in the future as well, I'm not ruling out that possibility. Thinking "I'm never going back on them again" might prevent me from seeking help if/when I need it.

Personally, it's very much a day-by-day thing. With CBT I learned to recognise unproductive patterns of thought, and question them, as well as how to take a step back and question my thoughts in an objective fashion. Depression lies. Anxiety lies. The feelings are very real, but what our thoughts tell us are often not true, or productive for our lives. Thought processes are habits, and we can only break old habits by building new ones that serve us better. Acting to prevent self-perpetuating cycles of traumatic thought patterns is key.

I'm pretty happy/stable right now, and feel like I'm coping - though I would avoid thinking that I'm "cured" because complacency is asking for trouble. Few who meet me offline would be able to tell that I'm dealing with mental illness, unless they know what to look for. I'm also aware that statistically, people who have had 1 major depressive episode are more likely to have another, and that multiple recurrences becomes very likely after the 2nd episode. This is why I prioritise keeping myself stable and healthy above everything else.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

My therapist says I have PTSD, which may to true. In childhood my brother verbal and emotional abused me. I also was verbally and emotionally abused by my wife for years during the worst of her trauma related mental illness. I am codependent from childhood emotional neglect from my parents. I also have struggled with depression for 30 years. CBT has really helped me see myself better and grow as a person.

My three adopted sons were drug exposed during pregnancy. The oldest two are ASD, ADHD, and additionally are diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. One son is also likely schizophrenic. Both birth moms were also bipolar. One son was inpatient after a severe episode, hearing voices telling him to attack young children, the other has tried to kill himself several times, as well as being violent towards children and adults. Third son also was inpatient after an extreme episode.

My wife has PTSD and/or borderline personality disorder, untreated. She refuses therapy and can't admit her problems. She also had post partum depression.

My mom is bipolar. My sister is bipolar. My mom's mother was most likely bipolar and committed suicide.

 

[Betty Blue]

My therapist says I have PTSD, which may to true. In childhood my brother verbal and emotional abused me. I also was verbally and emotionally abused by my wife for years during the worst of her trauma related mental illness. I am codependent from childhood emotional neglect from my parents. I also have struggled with depression for 30 years. CBT has really helped me see myself better and grow as a person.

My three adopted sons were drug exposed during pregnancy. The oldest two are ASD, ADHD, and additionally are diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. One son is also likely schizophrenic. Both birth moms were also bipolar. One son was inpatient after a severe episode, hearing voices telling him to attack young children, the other has tried to kill himself several times, as well as being violent towards children and adults. Third son also was inpatient after an extreme episode.

My wife has PTSD and/or borderline personality disorder, untreated. She refuses therapy and can't admit her problems. She also had post partum depression.

My mom is bipolar. My sister is bipolar. My mom's mother was most likely bipolar and committed suicide.

Thats a list alright. It's a different thing being in a state of unending trauma/crisis. The constant need to find refuge and safety, the everlasting struggle to protect the ones you love. It's an emotional war zone. Dodging the bullets and seeing the day through are sometimes all you can focus on huh.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Thats a list alright. It's a different thing being in a state of unending trauma/crisis. The constant need to find refuge and safety, the everlasting struggle to protect the ones you love. It's an emotional war zone. Dodging the bullets and seeing the day through are sometimes all you can focus on huh.

There were many times this year that I would have several family members having episodes, one after the other, and I would have the adrenaline pumping from the previous one, when suddenly here came the next. Each one impacted me greatly. It impacts less now because I have worked very hard. I still get triggered by the chaos at times and then it sucks, because then I need to get away to find some peace inside. I don't always succeed, unfortunately..... But I am doing better, especially not being triggered by their episodes. Meditation has been very helpful, as has been therapy....

 

[geedoenfj]

My therapist says I have PTSD, which may to true. In childhood my brother verbal and emotional abused me. I also was verbally and emotionally abused by my wife for years during the worst of her trauma related mental illness. I am codependent from childhood emotional neglect from my parents. I also have struggled with depression for 30 years. CBT has really helped me see myself better and grow as a person.

My three adopted sons were drug exposed during pregnancy. The oldest two are ASD, ADHD, and additionally are diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. One son is also likely schizophrenic. Both birth moms were also bipolar. One son was inpatient after a severe episode, hearing voices telling him to attack young children, the other has tried to kill himself several times, as well as being violent towards children and adults. Third son also was inpatient after an extreme episode.

My wife has PTSD and/or borderline personality disorder, untreated. She refuses therapy and can't admit her problems. She also had post partum depression.

My mom is bipolar. My sister is bipolar. My mom's mother was most likely bipolar and committed suicide.

That's heart breaking, I really feel for you and for your family, specially for your kids [emoji174] [emoji174][emoji174] and I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother it must have affected your mother in a very bad way [emoji20][emoji22]
I never went to a counselor therapy because I never thought that I needed it, but if I do in future,I would definitely do that.. I think most of my family have mental illnesses although they never went to a psychiatrist, it's something not very popular in my region..
Since I'm a mother of an autistic child, may I ask you about your ASD son how old is he? At what age did you find out about his condition? And is he speaking or did you guys have to go through a speech therapy stage with him? How intense is it? What other therapies did he receive other than speech therapy? Does he receive enough affection and love from his mom? Because these children needs much more love and cuddling than any regular child and their mother is a key for them to get better..

 

[SearchingforPeace]

That's heart breaking, I really feel for you and for your family, specially for your kids [emoji174] [emoji174][emoji174] and I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother it must have affected your mother in a very bad way [emoji20][emoji22]

My mother can't admit it 50 years later. When she found out I knew, she got very upset.

I never went to a counselor therapy because I never thought that I needed it, but if I do in future,I would definitely do that.. I think most of my family have mental illnesses although they never went to a psychiatrist, it's something not very popular in my region..

I never did therapy until this year. I found it useful catalyst in exploring myself and unblocking myself. She quickly saw things about myself I was blind to, that were shaping my life. It felt liberating to let all the pain out.

Since I'm a mother of an autistic child, may I ask you about your ASD son how old is he? At what age did you find out about his condition? And is he speaking or did you guys have to go through a speech therapy stage with him? How intense is it? What other therapies did he receive other than speech therapy? Does he receive enough affection and love from his mom? Because these children needs much more love and cuddling than any regular child and their mother is a key for them to get better..

My adopted twins were born at 28 weeks. They had numerous health problems and were in neonatal intensive care for 4 months. They were very delayed and didn't talk until they were almost 4. And we gradually recognized that their world was each other.

We gradually realized they were still delayed and they were first treated as ADHD. Then a few years later they tested as Autism Spectrum Disorder, not otherwise specified, pervasive developmental delayed. Their speech continued poorly and is barely intelligible until the last year (they are early trends now). Our biggest problem is the behavior. They didn't develop normal raises to things, so now they either get homicidal or suicidal when stressed.... They have had a rough year, but things appeared to have stabilized, a bit.

They had speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, social group therapy, and are in a special autism program at school.
They have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for years.

My wife was always loving to children when she wasn't withdrawn and isolated with her own issues. I have given them tons of affection, that they don't usually even see that. They take my wife's issues especially hard.

Anyway, it has been very difficult their entire lives. Extremely difficult..... And they are more aggressive than most autistic children.....But I hear that many go through a violent stage.

 

[cascadeco]

I've never been diagnosed with anything, as I only ever went to a psychologist once, for about 3 months, about 10 years ago, and I think she was against labels; also my main issue at that point was anxiety and thinking something was wrong with me (I was going through a funk and anxiety became very heightened) and so I think she probably knew that if she gave me a label it would just make it worse when there wasn't actually anything significantly causing me issues other than my being anxious about the concept.

That said, I don't think I have an anxiety disorder anymore but out of anything, that would be what I have most addressed throughout life -- specifically social. As a pre-teen/teenager, had I seen someone, I wouldn't be surprised if I would have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I was functioning, but I didn't get close to anyone and interaction with people approached the level of being fearful. Anyhow, through my own reflection and self-cognitive-therapy over the years, I'd say the bulk of that is gone. I still have some elements on occasion but it's nothing to the level it was when I was younger, and at this point I kind of thrive in a social, light-hearted atmosphere.

-----------

My brother was at a treatment center for a few months in his very late teens, due to being suicidal. He was diagnosed with chronic depression and I think generalized anxiety disorder. Very little of that was evident though when interacting with him prior to hospitalization, though. For many years now he's been med free and he figured out a lifestyle and such that works for him and he's managing it I think, and seems well.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I've had diagnosis and medication for depression and anxiety various times in my life. A psychologist describes that I have something much like PTSD. I don't know if it is a formal diagnosis for PTSD.

 

[geedoenfj]

My adopted twins were born at 28 weeks. They had numerous health problems and were in neonatal intensive care for 4 months. They were very delayed and didn't talk until they were almost 4. And we gradually recognized that their world was each other.

We gradually realized they were still delayed and they were first treated as ADHD. Then a few years later they tested as Autism Spectrum Disorder, not otherwise specified, pervasive developmental delayed. Their speech continued poorly and is barely intelligible until the last year (they are early trends now). Our biggest problem is the behavior. They didn't develop normal raises to things, so now they either get homicidal or suicidal when stressed.... They have had a rough year, but things appeared to have stabilized, a bit.

They had speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy, social group therapy, and are in a special autism program at school.
They have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for years.

My wife was always loving to children when she wasn't withdrawn and isolated with her own issues. I have given them tons of affection, that they don't usually even see that. They take my wife's issues especially hard.

Anyway, it has been very difficult their entire lives. Extremely difficult..... And they are more aggressive than most autistic children.....But I hear that many go through a violent stage.

I'm so sorry for you having to go through all of that, with two autistic kids and other family issues [emoji20][emoji20] I really really hope everything will get better for you in future and that someday you and your family would find a peace of mind [emoji253]

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I'm so sorry for you having to go through all of that, with two autistic kids and other family issues [emoji20][emoji20] I really really hope everything will get better for you in future and that someday you and your family would find a peace of mind [emoji253]

Well, hopefully. It has been a huge struggle. But we have survived, barely. I feel it was actually helpful to make it so far that my wife and my issues left us resistant to a lot of the pain at the time. My childhood did help me in this in part.

My son's therapist said that most families with a single child like ours usually divorce, and we have 3 challenging adopted children.

I can only hope my wife will improve so she no longer is a negative factor in their own development...

Thanks for you good wishes.....

 

[geedoenfj]

My son's therapist said that most families with a single child like ours usually divorce, and we have 3 challenging adopted children.

I can only hope my wife will improve so she no longer is a negative factor in their own development...

Thanks for you good wishes.....

I see what you mean since I've been through so much with my husband because of our son, he keeps blaming me and our son for everything that he goes through, and we've been through so many arguments and fights and I keep handling his rages and mood fluctuations, but I insist on keeping this family together, I'm not a kind of a person who just walks away in a first given opportunity, specially for my son's good he loves his dad and me so much..
I've been told by his therapists that I'm one of the best mothers they've ever met, and my husband admits that I'm so strong to be able to handle all of that, I think that's our nature we give our best to everything we do, we may breakdown but never give up..

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I see what you mean since I've been through so much with my husband because of our son, he keeps blaming me and our son for everything that he goes through, and we've been through so many arguments and fights and I keep handling his rages and mood fluctuations, but I insist on keeping this family together, I'm not a kind of a person who just walks away in a first given opportunity, specially for my son's good he loves his dad and me so much..
I've been told by his therapists that I'm one of the best mothers they've ever met, and my husband admits that I'm so strong to be able to handle all of that, I think that's our nature we give our best to everything we do, we may breakdown but never give up..

You have my sympathies. My wife will randomly get very angry at me over the children and I know the stress doesn't help. I have supported her so much and focused my life to help with the children. I can't give up, but the personal cost is huge. I can only hope for peace one day.

I hope your husband will start accepting that his anger is about his own issues. It sounds like you fell into the typical ENFJ trap of getting involved with someone with serious unresolved issues. I have yet to meet a ENFJ who avoided that trap....

 

[geedoenfj]

It sounds like you fell into the typical ENFJ trap of getting involved with someone with serious unresolved issues. I have yet to meet a ENFJ who avoided that trap....

Obviously we're just fulfilling our destiny [emoji23][emoji23][emoji174] I really hope everything will work just fine for all of us [emoji72]🏻

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Obviously we're just fulfilling our destiny [emoji23][emoji23][emoji174] I really hope everything will work just fine for all of us [emoji72]🏻

Haha, yes. I suspect my natural born son is a ENFJ so I will do my best to help him see that love can be easy and you can serve others outside your family instead of just finding hurting people to save....