What Are You Like When You're Angry?

[skippythecat]

Anger doesn't come by easily for me but irritation does. When I get angry I hold my tongue because I'm not sure what will come out. I internalize those anger and figure out why I was mad and if my reasons are legitimate concerns. I will get quite and have this F off look.

 

[Daenera]

 

[Nicodemus]

 

[Oaky]

I look stern and deep in thought when I'm angry, I often cover my mouth.
A little like the thinker statue

 

[EJCC]

Because I have too much time on my hands and lists are fun:


EJCC's Anger Levels:

Level 1: Anger can only be read in facial expression
Level 2: Anger can be read in facial expression and word choice (much more formal)
Level 3: Anger can be read in facial expression, word choice (colder), and tone of voice (irritated), but is still not acknowledged
Level 4: Obviously annoyed, occasionally making snide remarks or frustrated exclamations ("You really believe that?" "Why are you still doing that?" "This is bullshit!!"), and often laughing out of frustration; will feel bad after outbursts and apologize
Level 5: Raised voice, ready for a confrontation

-----------------

90% of anger is at levels 1-3, and a good deal of time is spent within those levels on a daily basis (what can I say, a lot of things irritate me)

Levels 1-3: Control is maintained; intense internal battle is occurring over how to filter pure rage and frustration into something civil and constructive

Level 4-5: Control is either in the process of being lost or is already lost; minimal fucks are given, if any

(There's nothing higher than level 5, or at least there hasn't been in about 10 years -- I don't yell or throw things or try to hurt people emotionally)

 

[Galena]

Historically, I have gotten angry at myself in response to things that may well deserve the anger more - the problem does not seem nearly as bad as the fact that I let it happen. It's almost dissociative at the very worst, perhaps ranting at myself as if I were another person, or writing myself a scathing letter in a journal.

No question that is a self-absorbed way of looking at things. I do intend to balance it out, but hope not to lose the upside of it, which is motivation. The end result of the anger is determination. We must get stronger, we two.

 

[matrixrobotgd]

sorry to bump this thread. when angry usually I go to my room and express my anger with kicking doors, throwing everything (which can't be broken of course), hitting tthe walls with my hand, etc with my mouth closed but sometimes I scream. I do it all when I'm alone. When I'm not alone I just don't say anything and show my angry face and sometimes cry

 

[Forever_Jung]

It will start out with some lighthearted humour pointing out why I'm mad.
Then I'll start stammering and ranting in a higher voice, still with a little bit of humour.
Then I go full Frank Grimes.

 

[violett]

 

[TheCheeseBurgerKing]

Break shit.

 

[Evo]

I make people cry.

***

If I'm being honest with myself, I know that I have a temper problem - hell, anyone who knows me well knows that I do. I feel a visceral, physical reaction to my anger. I'm an aggressive fuck and am vicious in my attack (recalling a lot of not-proud moments, nothing is off-limits, and I'm going for the jugular). And, I become even more stubborn. I've damaged property before, but have learned to control that for a long time now. My mother notes that she can literally see the anger in me, like a rabid animal. My face and ears turn red, I feel boiling hot all over, especially my head, my breathing gets heavier, and
shit's about to hit the fan. Before, I used to let it fuel me, because that energy was screaming for an outlet, like a volcano, but I've learned to walk away. Rage. Not just anger, it's rage. It's pretty fucked up, the lack of control I feel in those moments. Thankfully, except for with my father, with most people and situations, it takes a while to get to that point, because most times I don't care enough to be that invested and it dissipates at the frustration/irritation level, it doesn't escalate further. I think my anger is so intense (rage), when it happens, because I know that this is not a rational choice, and I've lost control. It's like I'm two-fold angry. Angry at the situation, and angry because I am so angry, something got me to such a point of anger, and I can't control it.

I have a temper and rage problem too.

Because I have too much time on my hands and lists are fun:


EJCC's Anger Levels:

Level 1: Anger can only be read in facial expression
Level 2: Anger can be read in facial expression and word choice (much more formal)
Level 3: Anger can be read in facial expression, word choice (colder), and tone of voice (irritated), but is still not acknowledged
Level 4: Obviously annoyed, occasionally making snide remarks or frustrated exclamations ("You really believe that?" "Why are you still doing that?" "This is bullshit!!"), and often laughing out of frustration; will feel bad after outbursts and apologize
Level 5: Raised voice, ready for a confrontation

-----------------

90% of anger is at levels 1-3, and a good deal of time is spent within those levels on a daily basis (what can I say, a lot of things irritate me)

Levels 1-3: Control is maintained; intense internal battle is occurring over how to filter pure rage and frustration into something civil and constructive

Level 4-5: Control is either in the process of being lost or is already lost; minimal fucks are given, if any

(There's nothing higher than level 5, or at least there hasn't been in about 10 years -- I don't yell or throw things or try to hurt people emotionally)

I appreciate the effort in this post. These are like my reactions exactly.

The only thing is, i may not try to hurt people, but if my anger is past a certain point, anyone in my way is bound to get hit equally.

 

[Lady Lazarus]

Calm, now.

 

[Galena]

= me when angry, inwardly as well. Reflecting and exaggerating, half mocking a world that feels hard, impersonal, and unforgiving. Black and white thinking, which is quite uncharacteristic of me in better moments. Used to have a much louder rage problem, but successfully taught myself to manage and reduce it.

Apparently when I am just deep in thought, particularly about personal things, I can appear and sound angry without meaning to and without it really being so.

Determination can be a variant of anger, anger at my own weaknesses. This does not have to be an unhealthy thing - it can invigorating and increase my endurance.

Irritation isn't really a thing for me. If something doesn't provoke full-on anger, it's not worth it. This is why when I am angry, it will not help to tell me that my anger is meaningless or silly - actually, the subjects of it are extremely select.

 

[gromit]

 

[Showbread]

(There's nothing higher than level 5, or at least there hasn't been in about 10 years -- I don't yell or throw things or try to hurt people emotionally)

So, here's a way we're different. Really mad Fe doesn't just aim to resolve anger and express frustration. It gets really really nasty. When I'm really pissed at someone there's like a constant stream of REALLY personal criticisms/ammunition that I have to fight like hell to keep in. It's like this ugly switch goes off and all the possible ways I could tear someone down start popping up. They're usually pretty snide and passive aggressive too, like back handed "compliments". In the moment it will fell perfectly justified, but then in hindsight it makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

It was a real problem when I was a child with ADHD because my impulse control was virtually nonexistent. I legitimately thought I was just a mean person until I was in high school.

 

[á´…eparted]

Really mad Fe doesn't just aim to resolve anger and express frustration. It gets really really nasty. When I'm really pissed at someone there's like a constant stream of REALLY personal criticisms/ammunition that I have to fight like hell to keep in. It's like this ugly switch goes off and all the possible ways I could tear someone down start popping up. They're usually pretty snide and passive aggressive too, like back handed "compliments". In the moment it will fell perfectly justified, but then in hindsight it makes me feel pretty bad about myself.

Yup, this describes an angry Fe-dom well. Though I have a much easier time keeping it in (not sure if that has anything to do with the S/N divide though). One of my outlets though is I will let this leak out to others in a more controlled manner (meaning, I vent to them). If I can't vent it then it really builds up. The thing is Fe really knows how to hurt people.

Granted, it's really really hard to truly anger Fe.

 

[Totenkindly]

Yup, this describes an angry Fe-dom well. Though I have a much easier time keeping it in (not sure if that has anything to do with the S/N divide though). One of my outlets though is I will let this leak out to others in a more controlled manner (meaning, I vent to them). If I can't vent it then it really builds up. The thing is Fe really knows how to hurt people.

Granted, it's really really hard to truly anger Fe.

It's quite a sight when I run across the person now and then who doesn't pick up on Fe barbs and/or insinuations (or just don't care). I'll watch the slights coming into play when an Fe person does get furious and starts slicing and dicing, but it's like it's just going right through air -- the target is completely oblivious/unfazed by what is being said and just responds matter of factly in ways that probably frustrate the Fe person more.

Pretty much you have to have at least a little awareness of Fe-style interaction or you can't use it / be harmed by it directly.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

If it's less of a burst and more controlled, I basically just go for "kill moves" on the target; i know exactly where to stick the knife, the awareness of what would hurt the most has likely been building a long time. I can become also very sarcastic. I can also feel obsessive until I get it out of my system.

Pretty much that. I'm a careful observer of people. I don't use it to manipulate them, but if someone stops playing fair and starts bullying, and I'm pretty sure it's intentional, then that stuff might come out. Once in elementary school a dude gave me a hard time on a bus, and wouldn't let up, despite the fact that I was obviously upset, and I made a crack about him being adopted (which he was). That really upset him.

However, I will also forgive people if they show signs of awareness.

Maybe it's less then admirable, but I also feel like it's important to stand up for yourself.

It can also be a little like this:

 

[Totenkindly]

However, I will also forgive people if they show signs of awareness.

It's a good point, I was just thinking about it yesterday. I can feel a cold indifference towards someone who I think is acting like a jerk -- I won't necessary gun for them, but I feel no compassion/warmth -- but as soon as they sincerely apologize / show awareness of what they've done, I have trouble remaining cold. It's like the situation resolved, so ... can't hold a grudge. I guess that's a good thing overall, but it's frustrating to find my attitudes shift like that. I just... adjust.

 

[Yama]

I almost never get angry. Especially towards people I don't know well. It takes a LOT to push me over the edge. Also, on the rare occasion friends make me angry somehow, I usually just rant about it to a mutual friend rather than start anything with them. But, oh my god, when me and my INTP sibling fight... I am the worst. I am so evil to her during arguments and I kinda regret it. Personal attacks. I know what topics to bring up that bother her. I often get on her about her messiness and she HATES it so I always find myself bringing it up when we fight. We actually can get along most of the time, but VERY rarely we'll all somehow end up in an argument between the two of us and my ESTJ dad... which usually ends up with me and ESTJ ganging up on her about stuff she "forgets" to do... I'm so mean

But we usually get along. Now on the flip side, when INTP gets mad at ME, it's because she says I'm bothering/annoying her with my presence or something. Idk, she likes to listen to music alone sometimes and every time I walk in the same room as her she says it's specifically to annoy her (which is only true part of the time... lol)

But tbh, I never, EVER get tipped over the edge around anyone other than immediate family. Ever.