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  1. #11
    Senior Member Ilah's Avatar
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    Jul 2008


    It depends on how how you define your terms. Both have good types and bad types.

    There are good ways to manifest confidence:
    Being comfortable taking on challanges. Feeling confident about your chance of success. These are generally perceived positively, though some people might be jealous.

    Bad ways to manifest confidence:
    Go around telling people how great you are. Tell people how you are better than them. Look down on people less compitent than you. These are generally percieved negatively. It could be argued that this is arogance, not confidence.

    On good humility: It is good to admit that there are some things you are not very good at. It is okay to admit you are at a beginner's skill level. It is healthy to admit that even in things you are good at there are people better than you.

    On bad humility: It is not good to go around putting yourself down. It is not good to give up or not even try because you think "I could never do that." It is not good to claim that you have are not good at some things you actually are good at.


  2. #12


    I suppose I am speaking in association to the ENTP tendency for "One Upmanship"

    To me confidence means being aware and excepting of both strengths and weakness. It means understanding who you are and being ok with it. In that respect one is confident to grow as a person. Whether it means challenging your weakness or building from your strengths your self perception is accurate and no longer relying on outside points of view.

    Humility comes from understanding that despite all efforts there are times in your life when who you are will just not be what is called for in the situation, and that in the said situations it is in knowing when your in over your head that humbly accept it for what it is. It also means that in these times others strength or weakness may be what is required and that everyone has their own to contribute.

    Confidence and humility to me is I am aware of things but I cannot necessarily do all things. This understanding helps you to better appreciate people as individuals rather than accomplishments. I would say that it also gives you a clear and accurate perception when summing up others as well as youself when these thing begin to become second nature to you.

    So in pretaining to one upmanship. I personally have never engaged intentionally in this precieved behaivior but I can see where people may think it is somewhat annoying. For me, when someone says I can do this I think for a second if that is something that I can do. If it is not then I start to ask a lot of questions to understand this new information. If it is then I will say that yes I can do this as well in an effort to find common ground and possibly the different ways that people achieve things.

    I am really tired right now so I understand that I am jumping all around here.

    Anyway, how is it that when someone has an inner percetion that they are accepting of that it is determined by others to be ego rather than confidence, and wouldn't pretending to be unaware of such strength and weakness be even more egotistical in a condescending sort of way?

    How do others define these terms because somewhere there is a dissconnect in what I believe as relative to others.


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