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Apathy: how do you overcome it?

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I am bored with everything and not motivated to pursue any of my prior interests. I briefly get jazzed up and start doing them again but lose steam really quickly.
I cannot focus sometimes because I get jazzed about a million things that i want to do all NOW. I waste time in idle pursuits with low but immediate rewards.
I cannot be arsed to do anything of value to me, because it won't be to my liking given my low energy levels interest.

I can completely relate to this ^ ^ the thing for me is its apathy not depression, I'm happy just non-productive and I'm lacking the motivation to commit to overcoming it :(

I do find writing helps understand but it doesn't bring motivation. It's rather frustrating. For now I'm trying to cut back on anything that is part of a schedule so I don't feel obligated to do anything I don't desire (besides work) and am trying to be more social as, although it can be draining, I find being around others uplifting.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
Apathy, Gratitude and Hope

Give me your poor, your brilliant, your witty suggestions, yearning to help . . . me.
Christ.
Ok. Let's hear them people. When you are in a prolonged state of "just don't care", what do you do to stimulate enthusiasm for the things you at some point thought mattered?

Two thousand years ago, apathy was called, "accidie".

And it was a sin. And it was a sin very close to despair which is the only sin that can't be forgiven.

However the virtue of hope corresponds to the vice of accidie or apathy.

And the way to hope is through gratitude.

I remember gratitude burst its way through to me by a group of friends I loved at University. We formed a Society and invited others to join us and they did.

I remember the very moment - it was an autumn day beside the lake and we were burying each other in leaves and taking pictures. It was as though the fullness of life was shining within me. And I was grateful.
 

colmena

señor member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
1,549
MBTI Type
INXP
I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.
 

Mole

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
20,284
I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.

Look, Colmena, I may be wrong but you strike me as a sensitive, intelligent person with some courage.

If this is true, you need to find ways of developing your sensitivity and intelligence.

The fact that you like being surrounded by stimulating people is a way for you to go. And you will find other ways as well.

I think you are a delightful person and you have my respect.

So I suggest you find ways of discovering your own delight and treating it with respect.

Victor.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
Regular exercise will help stabilize your mood on a chemical level.
Yes, though I do not think I am in a bad mood most days. I am more cheerful than not . . . a cheerful numb, if such a thing can be said to exist.

This is called depression. You need to get out of the state first, then you need to absolutely refuse to allow yourself to get depressed. Go to your doc and get some antidepressants.

Then get this book:
Thanks for the suggestions. Is it still depression if you are not sad most times? It is not that I have the blues. I don't. I laugh a fair amount everyday (and keep looking for things that amuse me). I have been sad-depressed before and that was more . . . acute, and unmistakably depression.

I can completely relate to this ^ ^ the thing for me is its apathy not depression, I'm happy just non-productive and I'm lacking the motivation to commit to overcoming it :(

I do find writing helps understand but it doesn't bring motivation. It's rather frustrating. For now I'm trying to cut back on anything that is part of a schedule so I don't feel obligated to do anything I don't desire (besides work) and am trying to be more social as, although it can be draining, I find being around others uplifting.
Yes, this sounds like me, too. When I force myself to have the energy for other people, I enjoy it.

Two thousand years ago, apathy was called, "accidie".

And it was a sin. And it was a sin very close to despair which is the only sin that can't be forgiven.

However the virtue of hope corresponds to the vice of accidie or apathy.

And the way to hope is through gratitude.
Thanks for the suggestion but I am not an ingrate.


I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.
Hmm . . . but while you were depressed were you not aware that that is what it was?
*
Hoping the self-treatment works.
 

colmena

señor member
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
1,549
MBTI Type
INXP
Hmm . . . but while you were depressed were you not aware that that is what it was?
*
Hoping the self-treatment works.

Was I aware it was a placebo effect? Yes. (if it was a placebo effect. I think it was). But I didn't care. I was feeling better. -I think a placebo effect is more powerful than drugs-

The mind can do weird and wonderful things, but I think a catalyst is needed if you're in a rut.

Some trade-off weighing is likely needed, of course. I'm far from out of the water, I'm just glad I have some strength of feeling again, that I can be moved and inspired.
 

INA

now! in shell form
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Jun 6, 2008
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intp
Was I aware it was a placebo effect?
No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).
 

Ilah

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
274
MBTI Type
INTJ
No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).

Before taking medicine your GP recommends, I would talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Discuss you options with them, counseling with meds, just counseling, just meds, no treatment. Make sure you make an informed decision about whatever you take.

It could be depression, but it sounds more like you are just worn out by things and need a break.

Sometimes trying a new hobbie or something new can help. Some people get board with the same things and need to switch things regularly.

Ilah
 

colmena

señor member
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No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).

Oh I see. Sorry.

Vague. Complex. Subjective.


Are you happy?
Are you content?

:)

The disappointment with your apathy sounds like depression, to me. How long have you been apathetic? Have your circumstances changed (can you see causation)

'though obviously a therapists opinion counts for a lot more.


Yes, I would say I was depressed. The sheer contrast to how I was before suggested to me that something was very very wrong.
 

INA

now! in shell form
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Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
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Oh I see. Sorry.

Vague. Complex. Subjective.


Are you happy?
Are you content?

:)

The disappointment with your apathy sounds like depression, to me. How long have you been apathetic? Have your circumstances changed (can you see causation)

'though obviously a therapists opinion counts for a lot more.


Yes, I would say I was depressed. The sheer contrast to how I was before suggested to me that something was very very wrong.

I am not sure how long I have been apathetic. Or numb more like it. I guess I just woke up and realized I have been on an even keel for a while but that it may be because the lurking alternative is a break-out of the batshit crazies. :rofl1: I kid I kid. I think. :ninja: I'm safely serenely numb. So much so that a therapist sounds like overkill. All I know is I have been more viscerally happy than I am now, and I want it back.
 

colmena

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When I took literature in school, I focused on complex inference and condemned the visceral as lazy hedonism.

Perhaps in pursuing MBTI and reading about your type, you've done the very same.

I think a false, naive logic got me where I am (or where I went). I'd say the visceral is as important as the cerebral; and being around people, sharing emotion as an equal is a good way of working on it.
 

INA

now! in shell form
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When I took literature in school, I focused on complex inference and condemned the visceral as lazy hedonism.

Perhaps in pursuing MBTI and reading about your type, you've done the very same.

I think a false, naive logic got me where I am (or where I went). I'd say the visceral is as important as the cerebral; and being around people, sharing emotion as an equal is a good way of working on it.
Hmm . . . I have a healthy respect for the visceral and have ever seen it as necessary if the cerebral is not to be sterile.
However, I do have antipathy to the way it is often approached or expressed. Perhaps because I have too much respect for it, interestingly enough, I find that many attempts at expression fail and it would be better to contemplate it inwardly, silently, because otherwise it gets defiled by pretenders the minute they strive to touch it. I have a somewhat similar feeling towards spirituality . . . it is an intensely personal matter and how dare anyone cheapen it with their tawdry little ostentations that are but manipulative showmanship.
I guess this is where your part about sharing comes in. And I am terrible at the sharing part. Something to look into.
Thanks. :)
 

colmena

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I never meant to chew at the subjective. We all perceive and interpret things differently, but I get more peace of mind thinking about the similarities of people.

By 'sharing', I didn't mean the cheesy "let's have a sharing session." Something as simple as playing cricket with cousins can make me a little more in love with the world: A chance to be creative, to teach, to learn, and to have fun.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
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Jun 12, 2008
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Ooooh, good topic.

My stab at suggestions:

1. Avoid others who act apathetic. There are lots and lots of people like this and your tendency will be to gravitate towards them because they share your current beliefs, but you should actually surround yourself around the opposite type of people -- the kind that probably make you want to vomit right now.

2. Be more actively aware of the things you are taking in through your 5 senses. Make sure they are positive, rather than negative as much as possible. This is especially important with your entertainment. You have a choice of what kind of entertainment you partake in, and you should not actively choose things that desensitize you. Look for the opposite.

3. Spend time in nature. Find beautiful natural sceneries if you can and go there and meditate or appreciate the aesthetics.

4. Get a puppy.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,988
Well, you've had a lot of good suggestions. I'll try to mention something else.

I was in this state for a long time.

There are activities that I simply enjoy, but somehow even those were empty. There were several reasons.

One, I felt extrememly lonely, and most of my favorite activities were solitary. However, I was able to find people who shared interest in those activities. This helped immensley. New friends add an affirming aspect to the things we like to do. It makes it feel like the things I like are OK, because now I am also spending time with friends, and that is important.

As for work, that is still a struggle. But things have gotten much better. What are you working for? A pay-check, no matter how good, is usually not enough (unless you are in dager of losing you home, or unable to eat or something like that). Do you have a dream or life-goal that lead you to your particular line of work or your particular job?

For me, my confidence in ever reaching my dreams were rocked to the core at about the same time I broke-up with my fiancee (partly triggered by my lack of confidence). This was closely followed by a lot of upheaval at work, and some scary events at where my brother and cousin were going to school. A mystic and consultant to my family said someone had put a curse on me. In my rational mind, I didn't believe this, but that idea kept cropping up.

My motivation has grown as I regained my confidence and direction in life. In my mind, the four elements for motivation:
1) A clear uderstanding of what I am to perform, not just what results I want from acting.
2) Good compelling reason for doing what I am doing.
3) The confidence that I am equal to the tasks.
4) A clear plan or picture of how I will complete these tasks

There is a lot of stuff on the net about goal setting. They are mainly for motivation purposes.
 

Ilah

New member
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Jul 13, 2008
Messages
274
MBTI Type
INTJ
I think suggestion 1 is really good. It reminds me of some failed "support" groups I joined on line. I got sympathy, but they were all full of people talking about how bad their lives were with hardly any positive words at all. I left them because I felt worse after interaction with them than I did before.

Ilah


Ooooh, good topic.

My stab at suggestions:

1. Avoid others who act apathetic. There are lots and lots of people like this and your tendency will be to gravitate towards them because they share your current beliefs, but you should actually surround yourself around the opposite type of people -- the kind that probably make you want to vomit right now.

2. Be more actively aware of the things you are taking in through your 5 senses. Make sure they are positive, rather than negative as much as possible. This is especially important with your entertainment. You have a choice of what kind of entertainment you partake in, and you should not actively choose things that desensitize you. Look for the opposite.

3. Spend time in nature. Find beautiful natural sceneries if you can and go there and meditate or appreciate the aesthetics.

4. Get a puppy.
 

pure_mercury

Order Now!
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Shake things up a bit. Try a new restaurant or kind of food. Take a trip to a place you've never been to before. Hang out with really enthusiastic people. Read some classic novels. Get outdoors.
 

alicia91

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
671
You've gotten a lot of great suggestions. I recommend reading books on positive thinking, self growth, and goal setting. I recently pulled myself out of quite a slump and joined the 100 Day Reality Challenge. Not sure if it's something that you'd be interested in, but it's really helping me focus on what I want and making me take the necessary steps. Most people are NFs and SPs from what I can tell, and it's a bit new agey, but if it works..?

The 100 Day Reality Challenge
 

Grayscale

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Dec 20, 2007
Messages
1,965
MBTI Type
ISTP
develop your ability to appreciate, then do not lose focus of it

when you experience the good of something in its boldest and most vibrant state, you'll find your motivation


it's a simple matter of your state of mind. it can make the difference between finding great passion and feeling numb... learn to alter it.
 
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