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fear of being center of attention

helen

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
241
MBTI Type
INFJ
I don't like being the center of attention. It's not the same as being shy. I can be quite open, one on one, but in groups I get quiet cuz I can't focus on everyone at once.

I've been in a couple weddings. Usually I'm so dressed up, made up, and have my hair done up so that I don't really feel like *me,* more like a project I worked on for the occasion that is now on display. Heh. It also helps that you don't have to talk to be a bridesmaid.

I sorta disconnect from the situation until it's over. It's not so bad.
 

Bufo

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
122
MBTI Type
onto
Enneagram
5w4
In a group, sometimes, I present ideas that bring me to the center of attention. In that situation people usually expect you to take the lead role. I don't like it because then I cease to be private and spontaneous, and lose my mental peace and independence.
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
Once you're at the center, you will forget where you are and cease to be nervous. The anticipation is the worse part.
 
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
1,511
MBTI Type
ENTP
For example, in class, I always participated.

Yeah, I participated in class, too. But eventually, if no one else was prone to it, I'd stop because I didn't want that to be my Role. I don't like pressure. I have acted in plays though. It helped if I didn't think anyone in the audience had any expectation that I would or should do well.
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
I was Peter Pan in my school play. I would participate in class too, if I knew the answer or had a good guess.. but this assumes that I wasn't daydreaming and zoning out, which I did a lot in the easy classes.

When it comes to being the center of attention, I guess it depends on if it's negative or positive attention. I don't mind it, but I don't desperately seek it out like some people.
 

FallsPioneer

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2007
Messages
260
MBTI Type
INTJ
I don't like being the center of attention in the rousing-leader alpha person sense. Otherwise, I don't really care as long as I'm not the focus for too long.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
BEING the centre of attention isn't a problem for me, as long as i don't REALIZE I am :laugh:

Cos the minute I do, I freeze, start to mumble and apologize, then shut up.

At a wedding party, everyone's eyes are fixed on the bride and secondarily, as an afterthought, the groom. But if it helps, the secret of the ENTP's typical easiness with attention is just not noticing it, being so absorbed in what you're doing that you don't notice. Like imagine you're reading a really good book and then your mom comes in the room and starts talking to you and asking you stuff about yourself, and you just answer in an offhand way whilst not really coming out of the book in your head? That kind of feeling.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I have no fear of being the center of attention.

Now, that being said, I haven't always liked it when it happened. Like when I was a kid, there was a time the much older next door neighbor dude gave me a wedgie and other kids were laughing at me and calling me names. I never liked that kind of attention. But most of the time I was pretty invisible. I would've done anything to get the kind of attention my son gets. I would've been king of the school.

Nowadays, I tend to only be the center of attention in environments that I'm already comfortable with, like at work or out with friends. Then I enjoy making people laugh and I enjoy sharing my experiences and talking about myself. :cool:
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
Realizing it is the key imo. I have no problem getting involved to that degree as long as I dont realize it, basically its being hyperfocused. Its good because its sort of like a built in cockiness analyzer. As soon as the intensity wears off or somebody draws me out I start to retreat and humble myself by being aware of shortcomings, doubting everything and diffusing attention elsewhere.
 

ZiL

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
511
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
567?
You guys are on target with the problem of "realizing" that you're the center of attention. Consciously anticipating it almost always leads to a panic attack/mental shut-down. If you have to be in a situation like that, my advice would be to just turn your brain off and go with the flow. I mean really turn your brain off, lol. Anxiety may be your first reaction, but harping on it will benefit you in no way whatsoever. It's a waste of good energy. I'm sure that's redundant to you as you give yourself similar advice, but it is a trance that can be snapped out of. Most of my life has been one big social anxiety attack, and for the longest time I'd get stuck in those anxiety cycles. But now I consciously try to say to myself, "this is no big deal, realistically nothing devastating could happen. The bad scenarios are all in my mind." The more you drive this into your head and disconnect your thoughts from thinking up bad scenarios (seriously, just stop thinking! I know it's hard but it helps you become more in tune with your environment, which is calming), the better it will be. Keep in mind that once you're in the middle of it, and once it's over, you'll wonder what you were so worried about. Even if you made a clumsy mistake...I mean, c'mon, people know you, they're not going to banish you.
 

Clover

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
131
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
I am never the center of attention, so I wouldn't really know how that feels. Sure I have spoken in front of people, but I know half of them aren't paying attention or even caring about what I am saying anyway. I am just a tiny little insignificant spec in their day, they will forget me sooner or later. At least that's what I tell myself to push my anxiety away, it's actually a rather soothing thought, though I can see how some people might find it disturbing...
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
I have a love/hate relationship with it.

I've been in jobs that have called for public speaking and I enjoy being in front of people and talking about something that I am sure about. But if I'm out of practice I hope for a podium because it's a guarantee that my buttocks will be quivering with fright and it robs me of credibility if people see me doing a sort-of standing hula while emoting.

It passes after a few moments and a bit of goodwill from my audience.

When I was a young thing I was complaining to a friend about how I hate to be stared at and she answered, "Well, look at you! You've got on that red frou-frou top pulled down to bare your shoulders, your shorts are too short and you've got a danged flower tucked behind one ear. Make up your mind!" *Blush.*

(Later she told me that she planned to wear a purple turban to her daughter's wedding and asked me if I thought that might be "too much." Heh. Like attracts like?)

I still don't get that "negative attention is better than none" thing that some people do, though.

I think with age a person become more sure of who they are and so then less uncomfortable. And in a society that puts little value on the elderly I've discovered that the general populace doesn't pay that much attention anyway. That gives my inner rascal a chance to come out and play!
 
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