A theory

[prplchknz]

Why do you think you behave differently irl, in that regard?

he person is a stubborn asshole, or that I could get royally screwed over. because people can actually fuck up your life if you piss them off enough. worse on here: I get banned. worse irl I get stabbed or something

 

[Galena]

In any public arena, I sort and choose my battles with the kind of precision and care I might employ if I were performing surgery on my own brain.

 

[chubber]

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] perhaps so on the forum. But on vent it is very visible. Somebody just needs to ask you a technical question and Bang, there it is.

 

[prplchknz]

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] perhaps so on the forum. But on vent it is very visible. Somebody just needs to ask you a technical question and Bang, there it is.

not totally true. take chawie for example.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

This is interesting. Seems pretty common on internet forums, but I've never been able to relate. What keeps you from stepping back and letting it go?

Edit: I think that the reason why I can't relate, is that I don't usually give off very strong emotional signals one way or another. And if I end up giving off angry signals during a discussion, that usually doesn't mean that I want the discussion to end.

Well the instance I was thinking of when I wrote this was actually a Skype interaction. The guy just kept needling me about some activism I once did. Disrespectfully. I couldn't easily give the ..."You wanna cut that out?"... warning look. And so I wound up in this hours-long debate in which I wound up chewing him out for his arrogance and jackassery, and he told me I was being "over emotional". Which I wasn't, and he couldn't ascertain from being online anyway.

It was then I began to realize how much I do rely on physical presence.

I guess it's more about being sensitive to "disrespect" in my case than wanting the conversation to end, per se.

Totally -- I'm the same way.

I'm always glad to hear that.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

so when a crisis happens I fall apart, then I become very authortative and directive. and start directing people in what needs to be done, If i see a solution i will do everything in my power to make sure that gets done. I will call people. If someone gets emotional (and I get emotional) and not listening to reason I get more angry when i tell them that they're doing x and that's what's causing the problem to stop doing x and try y instead but they keep doing x. Or if their actions aren't aligning with there words. When I tell someone I'm gonna do something for them, I do it. If I can't get in done by the original time I've said I let them know. or if it turns out I'm not able to, but damnit I'm gonna try. I'll apologize, if I can pay for it to be fixed I'll pay it.Like I mean on stuff that has monetary value vs stuff that doesn't. And it's interesting when I get emotional it sometimes has to do with hurt pride or ego but a lot of times why my pride or ego is hurt is the other person is handling the situation in an irrational manner. I'm more likely to get angry over the fact that you're claiming you never leave dirty dishes out not admitting that you do then you actually leaving dirty dishes out. Or you accuse me of something and you do the same thing. If I'm doing something and you accuse me and it's true but you aren't doing the same thing I'll take care of it. I'll get angry for 30 seconds-minutes vs a hypocritical or false accusation will leave me mad for days at least.

You go girl!

I like your avatar too.

 

[EJCC]

Well the instance I was thinking of when I wrote this was actually a Skype interaction. The guy just kept needling me about some activism I once did. Disrespectfully. I couldn't easily give the ..."You wanna cut that out?"... warning look. And so I wound up in this hours-long debate in which I wound up chewing him out for his arrogance and jackassery, and he told me I was being "over emotional". Which I wasn't, and he couldn't ascertain from being online anyway.

It was then I began to realize how much I do rely on physical presence.

I guess it's more about being sensitive to "disrespect" in my case than wanting the conversation to end, per se.

That makes sense -- and I understand how that would work online and in real time. Not so much on the forum, probably.

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION] perhaps so on the forum. But on vent it is very visible. Somebody just needs to ask you a technical question and Bang, there it is.

I guess so. Maybe this is less about online vs. offline, and more about instant vs. non-instant communication.

not totally true. take chawie for example.

?

 

[prplchknz]

?

pretty much pointing out he's sometimes wrong.

 

[EJCC]

pretty much pointing out he's sometimes wrong.

What does that have to do with being Te on Vent?

 

[prplchknz]

What does that have to do with being Te on Vent?

he didn't say specifically Te on vent he was talking generally.

 

[EJCC]

he didn't say specifically Te on vent he was talking generally.

Well he was responding to my post that said I don't show much Te on the forum. So why wouldn't that...? I'm still confused, but ok.

 

[prplchknz]

Well he was responding to my post that said I don't show much Te on the forum. So why wouldn't that...? I'm still confused, but ok.

he just tagged you in general. And I guess the point is unless you're a mind-reader you still might get the person's type wrong cuz a lot of it has to do with inner motivations and reasoning that most of us don't tell others about

 

[EJCC]

he just tagged you in general. And I guess the point is unless you're a mind-reader you still might get the person's type wrong cuz a lot of it has to do with inner motivations and reasoning that most of us don't tell others about

I see. Does chawie type people a lot?

 

[prplchknz]

I see. Does chawie type people a lot?

no no no no. i'm saying you can't really type him on vent cuz he is a character

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

That makes sense -- and I understand how that would work online and in real time. Not so much on the forum, probably.

Yeah, this particular thing is less of a problem on the forums, but it still doesn't change the fact that my online post it notes just aren't the same as a real discussion. My fingertips can't work as fast as my mouth in articulating my points, for one thing. (I was just thinking about that today).

 

[Hitoshi-San]

I've actually thought about this. It's sort of like that show Catfish on MTV, the people see being online as an escape so make a completely and totally different personality, outlook on life, interests, way of thinking, they could change everything. I'm not even sure which "persona" is the more dominant one - some people could be even showing a hidden aspect of themselves over the Internet.

 

[Flâneuse]

Yeah, I think if a person shows different traits online than they do in real life, they could easily be mistyped by others who assume their online personality is what they're usually like.

I don't think I've shown my shadow self/ExTJ side on here, but I do relate to showing different sides of myself online than I do in real life, though the online/offline split is more subtle now than it was in the past. When I was younger I allowed myself to be outspoken and brash online in contrast to my meeker "real" personality, because online interaction didn't feel as real to me as face-to-face interaction (and in some ways, it's not) so I had less self-consciousness and fear of conflict. Part of that was the sense of anonymity, which notoriously can bring out the sides of people that they hide in situations where they have a "recognizable face" and feel vulnerable to external shame.
Online disinhibition effect

Now I feel self-conscious and filtered both on- and off-line -- I can't really escape the feeling that I have a "face" in most interactions with other people, even when my "real identity" (physical face, full name, etc.) is obscured. I obviously reveal a lot more about myself on this forum than I would to acquaintances and strangers IRL, but there are similarities in how I act - reserved, often reluctant to draw attention except in subtle ways, and mostly self-involved but with occasional hints of interpersonal warmth. There are only a handful of people (all of them in real life) with whom I can express myself spontaneously and naturally.

 

[Mademoiselle]

Pro, you remain the same person in that case (you = the person who’s so.)..
But there’s a factor missing either in real life or on the internet, so you can’t be yourself there.
Finding out that reason will be helpful to understand that person’s personality..
And if the difference is dramatic then I’d think of it as a disorder.