A loner & the very shy & quiet, arty smart girl, if that's a type.
I did very well academically; I did not make a strain & still got good grades & qualified for advanced classes. I went to school with many kids all the way from elementary to HS, so I entered HS with the rep of being smart & an academic achiever, and I continued to be one of the best students in every class I took.
I already liked fashion then & had too much style to be a true nerd. By then I had made it through any pre-teen awkwardness & was rather pretty, so already my shyness was looking more & more like snobbery to people. I was known (if I was known at all) for the somewhat unique articles of clothing I'd wear & the ability to draw pretty well (stuff I wore sometimes: fur coat, leather pants, silver doc martin boots, red lipstick, a transparent pink raincoat, & lots more). So even though I was socially awkward & bookish, no one made fun of me. I had a sense of being outcast, but I realize now it was more like I made myself inaccessible & not relatable.
I missed school a lot... sometimes I'd only show up 2 days a week for months on end. My teachers overlooked absences & tardies because I did quality work & tested well. The only part I liked about school was the learning part; the social part was draining & puzzling to me. So the learning part was fine when I was there, and when not there, I was ahead enough to not get behind (if that makes sense). But I was not ambitious, and so there was not enough drive in me to be the best or make sure I'd get into some amazing college, etc. I truly was driven to do stuff because I had a curious mind, and a small part of me didn't want to be shown up by people I knew were intellectually inferior (ok, a little competitive drive).
I didn't hang out with any kids outside of school & only glommed onto a few girls to eat lunch with when I couldn't disappear into the bathroom where I'd play with my makeup or find an isolated spot to read alone. Oddly enough, these girls were sporty types on the basketball team, but they very accepting. They were kind of dorky without being bookish, and I didn't fit with them either, but they didn't oppose me eating with them & adding the occasional comment every other week to their conversation.
My last two years I had gotten ahead on credits & was able to leave by lunch, and at that point, I totally abandoned any efforts to have friends at school. I never participated in extracurricular activities or went to school events that weren't required. Most of what I remember from that age are the books I read, the music I discovered, the fantasizes I had, etc - all the stuff I did when I stayed home from school & immersed myself in my own world.
