Forgiveness

[prplchknz]

How do you view it?

Me it's a personal thing if I have a resentment against someone it doesn't affect them. So me forgiving them is more for my piece of mind. I don't need to let them know most of the time I've forgiven them. It's not for them.

 

[Chuffney]

Bit of a redundant concept in my mind. Social relationships to me are fluid and not quantitative, there's no 'forgiven' switch, things just are as they are at face value.

 

[prplchknz]

Bit of a redundant concept in my mind. Social relationships to me are fluid and not quantitative, there's no 'forgiven' switch, things just are as they are at face value.

So if someone seriously crossed a boundary of yours, you'd be ok with that?

Forgiveness is letting what happened go so you're no longer emotionally hurting over it. Like I said forgiveness in most situations doesn't need to be known.

 

[Chuffney]

So if someone seriously crossed a boundary of yours, you'd be ok with that?

Forgiveness is letting what happened go so you're no longer emotionally hurting over it. Like I said forgiveness in most situations doesn't need to be known.

It's not quite as simple as that. Forgiveness holds spiritual connotations as well as ones that absolve one of negative emotion. If someone commits an offense against me then I would consider it improper to begrudge them it for no particular reason. There's always an element of wariness that becomes deep-seated into a relationship because it would be ridiculous not to take previous events into future consideration, so neither guilt has been absolved nor grudge sustained.

Depending on one's perception of forgiveness, that could be considered either total forgiveness or no forgiveness. Perhaps it's incomplete forgiveness.

 

[prplchknz]

It's not quite as simple as that. Forgiveness holds spiritual connotations as well as ones that absolve one of negative emotion. If someone commits an offense against me then I would consider it improper to begrudge them it for no particular reason. There's always an element of wariness that becomes deep-seated into a relationship because it would be ridiculous not to take previous events into future consideration, so neither guilt has been absolved nor grudge sustained.

Depending on one's perception of forgiveness, that could be considered either total forgiveness or no forgiveness. Perhaps it's incomplete forgiveness.

You can cut some one out of your life and still forgive them. Forgiveness is not ignoring what happened

 

[Chuffney]

Fantastic that I didn't imply that, then.

 

[Noon]

I like the quote, "to understand is to forgive."

But in order to avoid any connotation of sympathy, I'd change understand to comprehend. Forgiveness then means to relinquish any preoccupation or fixation surrounding a thing that's happened.

I think you should forgive as much as possible - but tolerate only what can stay in a state of having been forgiven. In other words, if there are things that keep coming up, unsettling things that demand to be made good sense of, it's a sign to distance yourself more than just mentally.

 

[prplchknz]

I like the quote, "to understand is to forgive."

But in order to avoid any connotation of sympathy, I'd change understand to comprehend. Forgiveness then means to relinquish any preoccupation or fixation surrounding a thing that's happened.

I think you should forgive as much as possible - but tolerate only what can stay in a state of having been forgiven. In other words, if there are things that keep coming up, unsettling things that demand to be made good sense of, it's a sign to distance yourself more than just mentally.

Yup