Which Parenting Style Were You Raised With?

[Ivy]

I didn't interpret free-range to mean "no guidance" or getting stuff just to get it. I got plenty of guidance, it just wasn't helicoptery or tiger-mom-esque for the most part. And while I didn't have to take apart an engine I did have to pay for my own gas and insurance when I started driving.

 

[The Ü™]

Parents divorced when I was 2. Control freak anti-video game tiger/helicopter stepmother and relatively passive father (but at least I still had my video games). Not allowed to watch R-rated movies and always felt watched. Father had custody, it's hard to say what my mother would've been, probably much more easygoing, although she was a Bible thumper who dabbled in a variety of Christian denominations, plus Wiccan at one point. Her style seemed generally influenced based on who she was dating at the time.

I was never really encouraged to do well, just punished for doing poorly.

 

[xisnotx]

You can surmise my answer by the following...

When I was 18, I asked my mom what I was supposed to do.She was like..."figure it out"...

So, I asked her to drive me to a cc. She was like "yeah, I don't have that time...sorry.". She did give me money for a bus pass though.

That was my introduction into the world.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

ESFP mom raised me free range. Heck I walked about 10 blocks to go to kindergarten. Which as a kid that age seems like 7 miles.
"Why don't you go outside and play?" was what she'd tell me often.

 

[mrcockburn]

My bio parents were free range.

My adoptive father = tiger/helicopter

 

[Amargith]

Mom was Helicopter/Tiger - structured, disciplined, and always ready to help out.
Dad was a weird combo of Free range and Tiger. When the mood struck him, suddenly *everything* was under scrutiny.

 

[Rail Tracer]

Something around helicopter and free range. Being the youngest has its pros and cons.

Father was more free ranged while my mother was generally more helicopter (not always.)

Siblings that would rather me just do my own thing while other siblings are a bit overprotective.

 

[Redbone]

Mama was helicopter when guilt struck. Free-range when selfishness and alcoholism was leading.

 

[Maou]

I was raised with all the bad aspects of Tiger parenting, and Free-range parenting, in combination with "Teach by bad example."

I was so disgusted with my parents "Do as I say, but not as I do" bullshit, on top of unreasonable expectations (Get straight A's, do all this crap too, also you gotta help with my side business and get up at 3am. Oh not enough sleep? Tough luck) . While persistently sabotaging my efforts at the same time (Cook dinner, and do your homework later. Why are you up so late? Go tf to bed). Then never offered any kind of guidance or support, and forced me to figure shit out all by myself. (Oh you cannot figure out that math problem? Tough luck, I dropped out of school in 11th grade).

It essentially resulted in me doing everything opposite of what my parents wanted, and choosing what I wanted to do that would optimize my position in life for better chances and opportunities. Which was ultimately successful.

 

[Totenkindly]

My parents were mostly free-range. (Pretty much in the summer, as long as I did chores, I could range up to 15 miles from my home easily riding my bike around, and they never knew where I was since I never knew where I was going.) This was long before the internet, but pretty much I could explore whatever I wanted to explore topically... except when they happened to stumble across something they didn't like. Like when I bought a paperback adaptation of the movie "Alien" and my mom must have seen the "In space no one can hear you scream" tagline and took it from me.

But I read lots of scifi and played D&D and watched whatever movies my friends could get on their better antennas and the few who had cable... and then whenever VHS finally became big and you could rent movies. (Yeah, it was the dark ages, most of my childhood we didn't have that.)

But my parents were hard in other ways. My mom was more positive, my dad more authoritative, but I was expected to be on good behavior in public, I was expected to get straight A's, and I was pushed into various musical programs... piano, band instruments, choir. I mean, I liked those things, but they also pushed me in those directions. (My dad was a music teacher for part of my childhood.) They had a lot of expectations for me, my father in particular (and he wasn't forgiving or understanding); where they were free range was in what I could do in my spare time once I was up to par with my extracurriculars and my music and what things I could read/watch... pretty much anything, I never told them and they never asked. They also had a curfew for me, as well as rules for when I was with members of the opposite sex. My father also did not show much trust for me; if I ever got caught doing anything wrong, he would use that a way to vindicate his mistrust, and if I was ever in a situation, he was always of the attitude that I must have done something to deserve it or instigate it... which was really frustrating. It was mainly because he was a hellion when he was young (I won't go into some of the crazy shit he got into, and I assume there's lots I never learned about), so he assumed his children were just like him, which wasn't true at all.

 

[ceecee]

Mostly free range. I think they were uninterested in much of the goings on as long as things didn't cause issues. IMO, this is due them to marrying and becoming parents barely out of their teens. There wasn't a lot of guidance in practical things, at least from my point of view, looking at it now. But I was independent and I didn't need a lot of overseeing, however, it helped in stunting my view of trustworthiness in people.

Needless to say, I taught my own boys how to handle money, how to deal with credit and banks, how to cook, clean a house and take care of themselves and others. Because saying things like - this is how I was raised, this is how I will raise you - is unacceptable.

 

[Yuurei]

Hmm...my actual parents doing do much parenting at all.

And that is why I was adopted by my Grandparents who were let's say "Helicopter".

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I don't see an option for "neglect via absence in every sense of the word".

 

[Earl Grey]

I don't see an option for "neglect via absence in every sense of the word".

Abuse is not a parenting style, thankfully. As in, that is no parenting at all.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Abuse is not a parenting style, thankfully. As in, that is no parenting at all.

I view abuse and neglect separately. One can be void of intent, the other cannot.

I had one abusive parent (that we escaped), and one neglectful parent who was just trying to escape her own pain.

She's my hero now for surviving and I forgive her because I understand. That's not to say I don't still suffer the damage.

 

[Earl Grey]

I view abuse and neglect separately. One can be void of intent, the other cannot.

I had one abusive parent (that we escaped), and one neglectful parent who was just trying to escape her own pain.

She's my hero now for surviving and I forgive her because I understand. That's not to say I don't still suffer the damage.

Oh, I had similar thoughts about neglect. Maybe Neglect is a more negative, unhealthy form of Free-Range parenting, in a way?

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Oh, I had similar thoughts about neglect. Maybe Neglect is a more negative, unhealthy form of Free-Range parenting, in a way?

Perhaps in this case as a stretch, yes.

My story is complex and includes things like a mother in rehab and stays in foster homes though.

 

[Neal Caffreynated]

I’d say free range because my Mom was really relaxed with rules/discipline/school when I was a kid (I’m the youngest of the family) so I could get away with everything I wanted

But my older siblings might not say the same thing

 

[Population: 1]

Dad: A mix of free range and strict. If that makes sense. Strict about the important things. I knew what would and wouldn’t fly with him early on.

Mom: Helicopter mom and being an only child didn’t help. She was a good woman though, and would defend me against a pack of wild dogs with a stick if she had to. She never backed down from anything unless the costs weren’t worth the fight.

I wouldn’t have traded them for anyone else.

 

[Hermit of the Forest]

My mom was a mix of tiger and free range. Everything perceived as harmful was highly regulated (as we got older that gradually relaxed and we were taught to self-regulate which naturally meant more freedom), but other than that we could (and did do) whatever we wanted.

Dad delegated most of the parenting responsibilities to mom. He was busy.