Which Parenting Style Were You Raised With?

[Forever_Jung]

Tiger-Helicopter combo.

-Sir, the Tigers gave mastered the power of flight.
-May God have mercy on our souls.

My dad was free range, my mom was in the middle, leaning towards helicopter. Really, I shouldn't say my dad raised me, so much as he was a much older brother who financially supported us. There was really only one parent. Not that I don't appreciate the money, but he wasn't super nice or responsible beyond that.

 

[Nijntje]

Where does emotionally abusive and negligent come in?

I SEE NO BOX DAMMIT.

 

[Hive]

Completely free range. They never tried to instill any values or rules of conduct in me. They told me if I did something wrong, which could probably be seen as instilling some kinda values, but I can't remember that they ever taught me a "correct" way to be and act. I was just running free most of the time, but I was also very respectful towards others and had a good sense of right and wrong. This parenting style combined with the knowledge that they were always gonna support me whatever I did made for a pretty great childhood.

Although... If my little brother and I had let her, our mother definitely have been a helicopter parent, but we both have a strong will for independence and always refused her help.

 

[Opal]

My mom was a combination of the "tiger mom" stereotype and "free range". My childhood was inconsistent. Neither party really had the heart to win the war; we cut our losses and agreed to disagree.

Where does emotionally abusive and negligent come in?

I SEE NO BOX DAMMIT.

Tell me about it. (if you want)

 

[Mal12345]

Where does emotionally abusive and negligent come in?

I SEE NO BOX DAMMIT.

Emotionally abusive sounds like Tiger, negligent sounds like Free-Range.

 

[Lexicon]

Where does emotionally abusive and negligent come in?

I SEE NO BOX DAMMIT.

Yeah, I was hoping for a "Joan Crawford" box. That'd sum it up for me.

(most people laugh at this performance.. [it is actually an exaggeration of the book's telling] but trust me.. some people like that actually exist. Some of them are mothers.)

 

[Mal12345]

it wasn't free range. I dunno what it was none of those really fit for my childhood

Going with whichever parent was most influential on you, were you dominated or guided? Or neither?

 

[Comeback Girl]

Free range with helicopter tendencies. They never managed to become full grown helicopter parents, because I've always been secretive.

 

[Mal12345]

It was all I could do just to get some helicopter parenting. I was very independent as a child but at times I would have appreciated some homework help. How well I remember it.

"Mom, come help me with my homework."
"No."
"Please, I'm stuck on this one problem."
"No."

Continuing to nag mom...

She finally comes out of the kitchen just to shut me up.

But as soon as she came and stood by me, I got the answer on my own! And this happened too many times to be a coincidence.

 

[prplchknz]

Going with whichever parent was most influential on you, were you dominated or guided? Or neither?

Guided mostly but not given free range I was definitely grounded often for grades not doing chores and refusing to do homework. Also got in trouble for sibling rivalries. I was a chill kid over all. But my mom did encourage me and my brother to think critical about situations. And encouraged learning if the toy wasn't educational in some way we couldn't have it. Also only allowed an hour of tv a day unless it was with one of them. And after homework was done, which I would lie about and my brother would manipulate my mom into an extra half hour of tv. My mom started checking my homework then would double check what my assignments were so I was always in trouble for that

 

[Mal12345]

Guided mostly but not given free range I was definitely grounded often for grades not doing chores and refusing to do homework. Also got in trouble for sibling rivalries. I was a chill kid over all. But my mom did encourage me and my brother to think critical about situations. And encouraged learning if the toy wasn't educational in some way we couldn't have it. Also only allowed an hour of tv a day unless it was with one of them. And after homework was done, which I would lie about and my brother would manipulate my mom into an extra half hour of tv. My mom started checking my homework then would double check what my assignments were so I was always in trouble for that

Helicopter parent. Also, this helps verify in my mind that you're a Sensor.

 

[prplchknz]

Helicopter parent. Also, this helps verify in my mind that you're a Sensor.

I don't feel like she was though. Because she did encourage idependence and she didn't start out checking things. It wasn't until after I got caught a few times she did

 

[Mal12345]

I don't feel like she was though

"Guided mostly" means she was a Helicopter Parent. This term also indicates that on occasion those whirling helicopter blades caused some damage to you. This would especially be true of independently-minded children, assuming you were one of those.

 

[HongDou]

My ENFJ mom was a helicopter parent for sure, and my ISTJ dad was pretty neutral about pretty much any situation so I guess free range for him.

Though despite my mom being a helicopter parent I did get a lot of privileges and freedom in my life. I got to do a lot of fun things and got excused from a lot of shit since I'm their only kid. Plus, I know whenever she was chasing me down it was because she wanted me to have more opportunities later in life.

 

[wolfy]

I am a chicken.

You deserve a roasting for that.

I think my parents were a mix depending on what I was up to/needed

 

[prplchknz]

My ENFJ mom was a helicopter parent for sure, and my ISTJ dad was pretty neutral about pretty much any situation so I guess free range for him.

Though despite my mom being a helicopter parent I did get a lot of privileges and freedom in my life. I got to do a lot of fun things and got excused from a lot of shit since I'm their only kid. Plus, I know whenever she was chasing me down it was because she wanted me to have more opportunities later in life.

I got a lot of privileges as well. I don't really understand.parenting terms

 

[Mal12345]

I got a lot of privileges as well. I don't really understand.parenting terms

This depends on whether or not the privileges had to be earned.

Here's an example from a Mormon family of my acquaintance. The family lived out in the country, their kids were too young to drive yet. Or if they had licenses, gas money to drive with was doled out to them.

In order to be allowed the "privilege" of a fun trip into town, these kids were required to tear apart a car engine and put it back together again.

That's an extreme example of helicopter parenting, but it's useful for making the distinction between a privilege as a reward for good behavior (helicoptering) or privilege as in simply being a free-range child.

 

[highlander]

Free range parent. I'm not sure they entirely had a choice. I was pretty independent.

 

[Such Irony]

My dad was a free-range parent, I think. My mother is a little more complex, free range about some things, helicopter about others.

 

[garbage]

Free-range toward me, but mostly because my sibling and their own in-fighting kept my parents busy.

That style has a way of breeding independence, but also at times a sense of isolation.