dropping hints vs being direct

[xisnotx]

third person

ha. got me.

 

[prplchknz]

ha. got me.

yeah, it's ok, just tell your future self not to beat me, please and thank you

 

[garbage]

there's also the "Have you considered ___?" trick, but I only know that one because someone taught me

This right here is the best 'bang for the buck,' the lowest hanging fruit.

It's pretty much just stating the thing you want to state but putting a question mark at the end. 1% more effort, 100% more palatable.

 

[prplchknz]

This right here is the best 'bang for the buck,' the lowest hanging fruit.

It's pretty much just stating the thing you want to state but putting a question mark at the end. 1% more effort, 100% more palatable.

yeah I should try that

 

[Evo]

And I get annoyed when people expect me to take one. It gets tiresome trying to figure out what someone means when they won't just come out and say it. I actually find this kind of pussyfooting around rather disrespectful. People who use it are either trying to be manipulative, or underestimating my ability to handle a direct statement.

I think it depends on the situation for me. Like I said, I find it kind of fun when someone quick witted can keep up. I can read people's thought patterns irl pretty quickly though...so I don't do this with everyone, if I don't think I have to.

The more comfortable I am with a person the easier it is. To me it's almost like having inside jokes with certain people. Is this manipulative? Maybe. Is this disrespectful? To certain people, possibly. But I don't think that it's underestimating you in particular. Why? Because the problem is, most people arn't like you. They don't want the truth, or the straightforward answer that I'm ready to give. So I try buffer this natural response of mine.

I mean, ideally I would love to be open and direct with everyone with out them taking every little word personally. But I'm a 6w7, and unfortunately, care about support from other people (the ones that I am close to.) So I am a little more flexible in that regards. I'm willing to play, and even understand the game...to an extent (I agree it can get tiresome sometimes...but that's when I just become more direct. I just like to leave my options open as well...)

I can formulate an example that would be more concrete, and that wont leave anyone guessing what I mean, I just need time.

 

[ceecee]

This right here is the best 'bang for the buck,' the lowest hanging fruit.

It's pretty much just stating the thing you want to state but putting a question mark at the end. 1% more effort, 100% more palatable.

My ENFJ likes - Can I make a suggestion? It's cute.

 

[ceecee]

This right here is the best 'bang for the buck,' the lowest hanging fruit.

It's pretty much just stating the thing you want to state but putting a question mark at the end. 1% more effort, 100% more palatable.

My ENFJ likes - Can I make a suggestion? It's cute.

 

[garbage]

My ENFJ likes - Can I make a suggestion? It's cute.

Yes. ENFJs like cute things.

I guess if you find truth in it, spread it around.

 

[johnnyyukon]

I find direct communication works really well for picking up chicks at bars.

I just go up to one I think is attractive and say, "Hello. I was noticing your ass in those pants and it kind of turned me on. I'd like to buy you a drink or 2 so you're nice and suggestive. I would then like to have a conversation with you with some witty back and forth banter to build up rapport so that you begin to feel attraction and comfort with me. Then, once you feel comfortable and/or drunk enough, I think we should go back to my place for sexual intercourse."

Works everytime.

 

[Mole]

Americans think being direct is a sign of good character, while the rest of us think it is being rude.

I remember the President of the USA telling us that he looked the President of Russian directly in the eye and Putin looked him directly back. And then the President, George Bush II, told us he could trust the direct Putin.

Of course Americans think rudeness is a sign of sincerity, and since sincerity is their highest virtue, they say, once you can fake sincerity in America you've got it made.

But they seem to forget that sincerity begins with sin.

 

[prplchknz]

if someone's so ugly that you puke, then maybe you should be nice about it (that's never happened and I've looked at some deformed as fuck people, that people go ewwww they're so ugly, and I'm like why do you care?)

 

[five sounds]

it's a continuum for me. i usually start at dropping hints and go more direct if i'm forced to. sometimes i get the feeling that a direct approach is needed right away, so i take it out of the gate. other times, if a person's not getting the hints and whatever point i'm trying to convey isn't that important to me, i might just drop it.

 

[prplchknz]

it's a continuum for me. i usually start at dropping hints and go more direct if i'm forced to. sometimes i get the feeling that a direct approach is needed right away, so i take it out of the gate. other times, if a person's not getting the hints and whatever point i'm trying to convey isn't that important to me, i might just drop it.

I get so annoyed when people drop hints, it's like just tell me what the problem is, because if you don't i might punch you, and maybe I might still if you tell me

 

[five sounds]

I get so annoyed when people drop hints, it's like just tell me what the problem is, because if you don't i might punch you, and maybe I might still if you tell me

oh if there's a real problem, i'm good at being direct right away. i'm not gonna try to mess around.

but let's say you're visiting me at my house and i want to go to sleep. i might make a comment about how i'm really tired, start to kind of zone out or get cozy, and hope you get the hint before i say "well i'm gonna go to sleep now. thanks for coming by." or something. also, once i say that, you'll have noticed those signs maybe and the kickout won't seem so abrupt.

 

[prplchknz]

oh if there's a real problem, i'm good at being direct right away. i'm not gonna try to mess around.

but let's say you're visiting me at my house and i want to go to sleep. i might make a comment about how i'm really tired, start to kind of zone out or get cozy, and hope you get the hint before i say "well i'm gonna go to sleep now. thanks for coming by." or something. also, once i say that, you'll have noticed those signs maybe and the kickout won't seem so abrupt.

I just say "I'm going to bed, I have to get up at x time"

 

[johnnyyukon]

I get so annoyed when people drop hints, it's like just tell me what the problem is, because if you don't i might punch you, and maybe I might still if you tell me

Well see the thing about people is, they're not all like you.

 

[johnnyyukon]

I get so annoyed when people drop hints, it's like just tell me what the problem is, because if you don't i might punch you, and maybe I might still if you tell me

Well see the thing about people is, they're not all like you.

 

[johnnyyukon]

Of course Americans think rudeness is a sign of sincerity, and since sincerity is their highest virtue, they say, once you can fake sincerity in America you've got it made.

But they seem to forget that sincerity begins with sin.

I was in Taiwan being an American at this party with some Canadians and this other American was like, you're from the U.S. aren't you? How did you know? "Americans are way more brash"

And it's true, a lot of us are. We're literally the most powerful country in the world. We must win the most gold medals at the Olympics (we don't always) and have a collective arrogance. On top of being isolated geographically from other countries, it doesn't help our cultural sensitivities.

 

[prplchknz]

Well see the thing about people is, they're not all like you.

I never got that. I mean i get aspects of them are different, but they're still similar

 

[garbage]

[MENTION=4347]Antisocial one[/MENTION] relayed back in the day that his culture is insanely direct, that they would run circles around Americans in that respect.

(And then bluntly tell them that they were running circles around them? Running circles rather than dancing circles? I dunno, someone should do something with that.)

It was an interesting read. Too bad I forgot everything about it, including his country. Oops.

I always find this, in contrast, also interesting: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof