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  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    Mar 2014


    Or when you get that feel, apparently...

  2. #12
    Glam Fool Video's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    4w5 sx/so


    The concept of a "maturity" point itself is becoming tiring. Live what works for you.
    4w5 6w5 1w2 sx/so

    A lonely island where only what is permitted
    to move moves, becomes an ideal.

  3. #13
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    4w5 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    The concept of a "maturity" point itself is becoming tiring. Live what works for you.
    I was talking about adulthood, maturity may never come.

  4. #14
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Dec 2013


    Quote Originally Posted by Aleria View Post
    Or when you get that feel, apparently...

    Sent via Tapatalk

  5. #15
    cool cat Freesia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    :0) so/sp
    EII Ne


    Yeah, the other day someone told me to “act like an adult” and I asked them these questions and they couldn’t really respond, so I thought I'd pose the question here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Yeah, it depends on what you mean by "adulthood." Physical/sexual maturity is achieved within a certain time frame, but emotional maturity - there's a much larger range there.

    In my observation of others, I find that a lot of people, especially women, look back on their lives and think that becoming a parent was that definitive point in their life. This is just the info I've gotten by asking around, though. I think it's because that's the point when people finally have to start considering one or more persons' needs as much as their own and take a more...a less individualistic worldview, shall we say?
    Yes, I definitely see how being responsible for the wellbeing of another human being would force you to "grow up", so to speak.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    I consider the 20's adulthood, I don't feel like an adult at all yet, even though I legally am.
    Yeah, me neither. I thought it would hit me like a tidal wave when I turned 18, but alas, I just felt like a seventeen year old who could now legally buy porn.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    how I feel

    I'm sure that's soon to be me (or it is already since I'm legally an adult)

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    When you are mostly self-sufficient, I guess. Though, your environment can screw with that.

    I've been a parent since I was almost twenty-three, so I had to do some growing up pretty quick in some ways when I wouldn't have otherwise. I don't really like being responsible, but the consequences of being irresponsible suck when the buck stops with you and it's worse watching your kids suffer for it. Some stuff, though, I do just enough to get by or not have the city called out on me.

    For just an arbitrary number, I'd say 25? But it's hard to find good jobs right now, so that throws things off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    In the U.S., I tend to say around 26. It's when you've been out of school for a while, have a job and realize for the first time that this is the rest of your life, forever and ever.
    I'm really dreading this. I can barely function now, and I can't imagine actually having real responsibilities

    Quote Originally Posted by Stanton Moore View Post
    That's pretty old...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nights and Days View Post
    When you lose the magic you cease being a kid. Age means nothing.
    This answer reminded me of Peter Pan

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    The concept of a "maturity" point itself is becoming tiring. Live what works for you.
    Always sound advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    well, yes, you can also reach maturity in some areas of life and be devoid in other areas.

    Overally, I see life as a continual growing process until death itself, we hopefully never stop changing and expanding and learning and encompassing and listening. At the same time, there's probably some "minimum bar" we cross where we're capable of at least meeting various challenges that have been deemed the province of adulthood as a category.

    (As a similar example, you can go to a college and get a degree and be qualified for a particular job -- that would be a similar "minimum bar" -- but you continue to increase your competence and understanding long after that point.)

    I'm not much one to say, "I've arrived."
    I'm always going someplace new, each destination is just a waystation.
    Love this answer.

    @Aleria and @yeghor I like the graphics. I think one of them crossed my dashboard on tumblr the other day

    "Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high.
    Then life seems almost enchanted after all."
    - Vincent van Gogh


    infp 4w5 ?w? 9w? so=sp>sx

  6. #16


    Quote Originally Posted by Freesia View Post
    This answer reminded me of Peter Pan
    He was a real bro.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    1w2 sp/so
    EIE Fe


    I won't feel like an adult until I am about 30 I'd estimate (assuming I have the timing of everything right).

  8. #18
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Freesia View Post
    When, if ever, do people reach a point in their life that they can definitively say that they have reached adulthood? Also, how do you define adulthood?
    I think of adulthood in three different stages.

    Stage 1: The generic adult. When you start acting like an adult. I've known 14 year olds more adult than 29 year olds. You're not completely on your own, but you're not acting a fool and mooching and sitting around like a teenage loafer. (I miss those days.) You're paying for your own luxuries and at least some necessities, but you still need the adults you grew up with and depend on them to at least some extent. This is where I think a lot of people stay.. for a long while.

    Stage 2: The parent. Even if you don't have kids.. this is when you take on the role of the adults you used to rely heavily on. You have your own place, and while you might need some sparing helping here and there, you're now the one doing the helping. Mentoring others, getting them jobs, raising kids, and teaching teenagers and young ones the things you wish you knew. Maybe your parents got sick, or the relationship changed, but the parents don't feel like parents anymore--they still command respect and honor, but they lack the authoritative touch they had before. They've passed on all the information they can. I don't feel like most people get here (without kids forcing them here) until at least their 30's.

    Stage 3: You're past the age where all the adults you knew growing up are functioning. Either they died, or they're on their way there. Even if you needed their help by now, they couldn't offer it to you.. and there's probably young people depending on you in some way, shape, or form. Whether it's your own kids, or the young people you're managing at work. You're the authoritative figure whether you really want to be or not. The things you grew up with are no longer recognizable. The current young generation has forgotten about them, and without active effort you will lose connection with the current generation and notice a significant gap between the two..

    Those are my generic breakdowns that I think about. They don't come with age, people have jumped straight to that old person stage 3 thing at very, very early ages.. but in general, I think you become an adult at teenager level, and that's why you're expected to act like an adult by your 20s. Because you should've already been acting like one for quite some time now to ramp yourself up into that adulthood area.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

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  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2010


    when "you know". (in college, i'd ask friends " do you know?". some would be like "know what?" and others would be like "yeah, i know...". that's when i, just know. you don't need to be told. it just know..and that's it.)

    or maybe, when you lose self importance and gain self accountability. that's a responsible adult, at least.

  10. #20
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012


    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    The concept of a "maturity" point itself is becoming tiring. Live what works for you.
    I'm pretty much with this.

    Concepts of adulthood are nearly always used as a way to demean an unusual approach to life that threatens the sensibilities of societal norms. Especially when for a large majority of people being an adult merely consists of getting older and assuming that because they are undergoing senescence they automatically gain some kind of profound wisdom that elevates them beyond those who are younger.

    It's about content more than appearance, although that's a bit of an obvious point. Although it is interesting for me to see people well into their 80's who don't appear to have learnt anything beyond what they thought when they were children, which rather hypocritically seems like the same judgement I am decrying.

    It's not a rule though, there are certainly people I've known who have lived and learnt a great deal. Ironically these people, despite being very good on wisdom and responsibility, are usually also the ones to admit that they haven't really changed that much from when they were in their early twenties and that losing their, what would sometimes be called, childish sense of joy in the world would be the biggest mistake they could make.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

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