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do you hold on to resentments?

do you hold on to resentments?

  • yes

    Votes: 5 41.7%
  • just while the situation is going on

    Votes: 6 50.0%
  • no, I ain't worried 'bout nothin'

    Votes: 1 8.3%

  • Total voters
    12

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I wanna know

for me I do as long as the situation causing the conflict is going on, once it's over I stop resenting the person. I tend to be one of those-I hate you, because you did this-then they apologize/i have an epiphany. Then I'll be their friend and I'll like them, usually
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
Nah, not worth it, fuck that gross resentment shit.
Forgive and forget unless it's something serious.
 

Freesia

cool cat
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
225
MBTI Type
Meow
Enneagram
:0)
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
No. It takes a lot of energy to stay angry and there are usually more important things to worry about.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
While it's going on. *But* if they stop doing it for awhile, if they do it again, the resentment seems to come back full-force along with a sense of dread.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
While it's going on. *But* if they stop doing it for awhile, if they do it again, the resentment seems to come back full-force along with a sense of dread.

yes, me too. I forgot about if they do it again caveat
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
Usually no. Only unless there is a reason to do so, or until a person shows evidence of change to undo it.
 

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It's disgusting and energy-consuming, but yeah.

I don't forget things that bother me. So if something bothers me to the point of resentment, you can bet that's sticking in my memory.

If a person can try to change things, that's nice and all, but I'd still have the memory of what they've done in the past. I can go back to respecting them, but things could never be the same.
 

Maou

Mythos
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
6,121
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It takes a lot to get me to resent you. I'll have bursts of anger, but I won't actually want to upset the other person. I give people way too many chances to get along with me, and its only when they've trampled on my ability to forgive one too many times. That I begin to grow resentful. I went with "as long as its going on" option.
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Messages
6,134
MBTI Type
FELV
Enneagram
974
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
The pain will never go away. Unfortunately, sometimes time only makes the pain worst. I'll never stop ruminating about it, not for a long time, but rarely do I truly resent the person, only the circumstances. I feel anger, envy, sometimes vengeful thoughts towards someone, but if they prove themselves worthy I'm willing to put aside those feelings and start a clean slate. Let bygones be bygones. We might be friends again, we might just slip back into acquaintances, but whatever it is its better than hating each other.
 

Stigmata

Super Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 16, 2011
Messages
8,779
Not really. For me, it's just not worth carrying around negative energy towards someone -- I'd rather just move on with my life while putting distance between us.
 

Opal Star

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
516
Enneagram
173
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
As a 1w2, resentment can be a huge issue for me. I often voice my resentment as criticisms.
 

julesiscools

Member
Joined
Dec 5, 2016
Messages
262
MBTI Type
ISFP
Only as the moment is happening, and maybe a tiny bit after. I usually just end up forgetting about it.
 

anticlimatic

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 17, 2013
Messages
3,299
MBTI Type
INTP
Slights that don't significantly impact you, or even slights that you can more or less deal with (like being mugged for your change) are not hard to let go- but deep slights that impact you in serious and negative ways can be very hard to let go of, regardless of whether or not you want to.
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
Depends on what we're talking about. Murder? Yeah, I just might resent that and hold on to it.
 
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