The Ego Shattering Power of Sexuality

[INA]

It has never shattered my ego, for one, or even come close. But cue the melodrama. This could get . . . interesting.

 

[substitute]

well I'm done. I wouldn't have deleted my contribution earlier if I was up for melodrama, heh.

 

[heart]

In any case, I don't think the ego is necessary always harmful, it is just that it is meant to be a cheerleader, not team captain. Ego in its own, proper place can be a source of courage and motivation. It is only when it gets out of control that it causes problems and becomes pathological. Without an ego, we'd all be too wussy to breathe.

 

[Thursday]

Does sexuality really shatter egos?

I don't think it does so as a rule.

There's a lot of power exchange going on in sex for many people.

true sexuality is a self-less and spiritual thing
true, people can be sexy
they can also have a high sex drive
but to manifest what sex is truly about-it requires that you have no ego

one has to listen to the other's body
ask questions
admit defeat in some areas and humbly improve on them

power exchange is fine - i'm fem, and usually let my partner dominate
and i also seduce the act in the first place
but i believe Victor is alluding to the negative connotations of ego

 

[substitute]

and sometimes it's hard for a person to do something, especially something difficult, without that cheerleader's encouragement. and for some people, being in certain positions can effectively silence that cheerleader, leading to a feeling of gross inadequacy. For some people, identifying, facing up to and feeling strong emotions is incredibly difficult. Is that so hard to understand?

 

[INA]

well I'm done. I wouldn't have deleted my contribution earlier if I was up for melodrama, heh.

oh put it back.

 

[heart]

but i believe Victor is alluding to the negative connotations of ego

People rarely say "get control over the ego" instead they say "kill the ego" but actually without any ego, we would be very lost.

 

[substitute]

oh put it back.

Can't. Didn't keep a draft. Don't want to anyway

 

[INA]

Can't. Didn't keep a draft. Don't want to anyway

Are you often a tease?

 

[Thursday]

People rarely say "get control over the ego" instead they say "kill the ego" but actually without any ego, we would be very lost.

hmm
quite correct
"moderate the ego"
sounds better
no one likes a yes man-unless they are insecure and have to inflate their lack of ego

better ?
i think so

 

[substitute]

Are you often a tease?

LOL I am so definitely not teasing. Seriously, I've no intention of ever putting it back, so don't bother

 

[heart]

Yeah, actually I had a very explict erotic post that I decided to delete too. 5000 words....with pics....clowns, dancing bears, uni-cycles and a taffy pull Darn, guess I shouldn't have mentioned it though...

 

[disregard]

People rarely say "get control over the ego" instead they say "kill the ego" but actually without any ego, we would be very lost.

Observe the ego, try to detach from it. You can't control it or get rid of it. If you suppress emotions, you will develop health problems.

 

[heart]

To be able to detach from it a form of self-control. Being able to become impersonal enough with self to observe the ego is a form of self-control.

 

[Totenkindly]

Actually, I see the ego as something that needs to expand. We identify with what is within our ego boundaries, and when others are included within our ego boundaries, we protect and love them as we would love ourselves.

IOW, the more and more we identify ourselves with others and even view ourselves as part of the larger world, the broader our ego boundaries we become and the more we fight to protect and love those things as we would care for ourselves.

So to me it doesn't seem like "moderating the ego" or squashing/limiting ourselves, or detaching ourselves, or anything of the sort, it's a matter of expanding what we consider ourselves to be part of. (does that make sense?)

This is why those in equilibrium feel at one with the world and with others: The borders have expanded. We are bigger than ourselves, because ourselves now includes many others.

 

[heart]

From what I understand the ego is the voice that says "You can do it!" when courage faluters and it is also the part of us that wants to protect ourselves, our own individual being at any cost. By its own definition it is the one, the I, selfish. I am not sure how one would expand that in any heathy way.

But what I am saying is that we do need the ego voice as cheerleader but the problem comes when people make the ego their team captain, instead of the true core so-called higher self being the leader.

 

[Thursday]

well, Jennifer
you're pretty damn wise for being on the red team
Oh snap!

 

[substitute]

Geez.

And 99% of the time I'm utterly unaware of feeling anything at all, and if I am aware, it'd take me hours or even days of meditation to figure out what I'm feeling.

So imagine when life's like that, then you get a feeling that's so strong, even a retard like you (ie me) can't miss it, and though you're able to identify it, you haven't a clue what to do with it or any of the spin-off feelings that come as a result of it, none of which you can identify or deal with.

that's what you get with inferior Fi!

 

[disregard]

To be able to detach from it a form of self-control. Being able to become impersonal enough with self to observe the ego is a form of self-control.

Maybe not though. If you understand what is going on from the right (objective) perspective, you may feel at greater ease, seeing that the feelings of your ego are more of an obsolete reaction.

Hmm..

The introspection itself can be enough to detach.. You don't even have to try.. The introspection/new perspective does it for you.

 

[Thursday]

Yep
This thread and her response to it has solidified my respect for this " Dana " character