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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    1w2 sp/so
    EIE Fe


    So, in a lot of ways I am just like you. I have very high standards for myself, and as a consequence, for others too. It's a product of being 1w2. I put a lot of effort into myself, and I expect others to do the same. I also tend to see people as objects a lot of the time, and if they do not meet up to my standards, I don't really give a shit about them. That's not to say I dislike them (for that I have to be given a reason for that to be), but I feel nothing towards them. It's been alienating in the past, and for about a year after I moved to the town I live in now, I missed quite a lot of potential friendships from being too strict with what I expected in others. I refused to lower my expectations because, then I'd be with mediocre friends whom really wouldn't benefit me in some way. It sucked, a lot, and I was really, really lonely.

    I will also drop people with little ceremony if I deem it needed. This is generally not good to do, but I acknlowedge I do it. I more or less reserve it to people I hold a negative opinion of, not neutral.

    Eventually, I toned it back a little. It's not so much that I lowered my standards, but I gave people a longer time. Perfection does not exist, and if you keep expecting it to happen, then you'll forever be dissatisfied with everything, and people won't ever have the chance to meet your standards.

    We all have to find a balance between what we expect, and what is. Going to either extreme is not good. It's all about balance, and making the best of what we can. It's good to strive for ideals and perfection, but we can't expect to actually get there. If we do, then nothing will ever be enjoyed.

  2. #12
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009


    I do this in a different way: people come closer and closer into my inner circles (and I have layers of those to protect myself). For people I don't like, I never form a bond in the first place, so there's no 'discarding'.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #13
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    7w8 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    If holding hands and singing kumbaya is the answer...
    Sininging kumbaya and holding hands has nothing to do with anything I mentioned in my reply to you.

    Your snide little vile, off topic remark proves you don't know the differencee between a self-aware mature human being, and a mindless hippy tripping on LSD. The fact that you tried to confound my statement with completely unrelated materials evidences that you've figured out how to bitch and moan when you don't hear what you want to, but are completely unable to argue your viewpoint.

    Congratulations, your remark made you look like an ass, saving me all work whatsoever replying to your vitriolic filth.

    If you can't handle feedback to questions YOU have asked, then STFU and continue to bathe in ignorance.

    BTW, No one who answers your questions has to tell you what you want to hear, or blow sunshine up you ass. You're not that special. No one is. Deal with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by bader055
    …then fuck it I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
    Yeah, so how's that working out for you?
    Obviously not well if you're seeking advice as to how to change it.
    Once you get a clue there might be hope for you - maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by bager055
    Stories are only good if they have a bad guy and somebody needs to be the bad guy.
    That's juvenile bullshit if ever I heard it. Not every story is a conflict between good and evil. Not every story is a zero sum game. So, you think "playing the part of the bad guy" as a default modus operandi while interacting with other human beings is cool, and a good idea? That's cute.

    (1) You willfully and pre-meditatively asuming the "role of the bad guy" means you're a poser, and in some cases maybe even a bully - which is pathetic.

    (2) Don't EVER forget that no matter who you are, there is ALWAYS someone out there who is bigger, badder, meaner, smarter, and more ruthless and cunning than you could ever hope to be in your sick little fantasy world. And guess what? You might cross paths with them one day, and if your behavior toward them pisses them off - you will wind up getting your ass handed to you. BTW - It's not a matter of IF this will happen to you if you keep acting as you do towards others - it's WHEN. There are ALOT of people in this world, and you have no idea who is capable of what. You're fucking with probability, and gamblers never win.

    Be cool to people, be respectful, be polite - treat others as you wish to be treated.

    Type Stats:
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    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

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    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  4. #14
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    So I have a combination of this stuff going on. I have high standards for the people I'm around and at the same time I get easily bored with people. I see people like these objects that amuse me for awhile but then their negative qualities start to annoy me so I drop them. What would be the solution to this if there is one?
    I'd really re-evaluate these statements... "I see people like ... objects" ... Seriously, this is sort of creepy serial-killer style talk.

    It's interesting how you don't feel even the slightest bit narcissistic about complaining on the negativity of others when your statement is so negative in and of itself. Did it occur to you at all when writing this how negative your approach to this whole situation really is?

    Halla sort of hit it on the head with your reply to him too.. I mean, you were extremely defeatist and negative in the most childish and base of ways. Sort of like the douchebag that says, "What!? So women like attractive guys?! OH, so I guess I have to quit ALL my hobbies and spend hundreds of hours in the gym and money on plastic surgery and creams and potions so that I can get a woman?!!?! Forget it!! They should like me for who I am!!" Like it's somehow an all-or-nothing thing.

    No, no one is singing a campfire song while joining hands. But, I think if you were trying to actively reach out to people, you should be open minded to doing that, versus throwing a tantrum about how people should somehow magically conform to you (despite the fact you have no desire to conform to them, you somehow get it in your head that others would be overly willing to do this for you) and your vague, undefined standards.

    This is a classic situation where either the whole world is crazy--or you are. And... I think you might already know the answer to that semi-rhetorical question.

    If you truly want a solution that isn't someone agreeing with you and stroking your ego further.. I'd start by identifying how creepy and just off-color your statement really is. Then I'd start figuring out why you're placing such purposeful distance between yourself and all others... is it fear of rejection? fear of socializing? narcissism? immaturity? a denial of growing up/aging? There are a slew of sources.. and 99% of the time, those sources are all going to be within you and something you need to identify and actively work on to correct. You're pushing people far away from you for a reason. You need to find that reason, and close the distance between you and people in the meanwhile.

    I'd highly suggest you join hands and sing lame songs versus rolling your eyes, calling everyone stupid for singing and hand-holding, and saying that there's nothing you can do. There is something you can do. You can try--despite not understanding why quite yet. You don't understand a language and then speak it.. you speak it, then you truly understand it as you go along.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

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    prplchknz: i don't like it

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  5. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2012


    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Sininging kumbaya and holding hands has nothing to do with anything I mentioned in my reply to you.
    Yea to be honest I'm not even reading this stuff. I know what you do you talk down to people like they are one of your kids. I'm not one of your kids and you don't know any better than me. You are wasting your breath.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007


    "Their negative qualities." And you have none, right? Get serious.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
    — Mark Twain

  7. #17


    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Yea to be honest I'm not even reading this stuff. I know what you do you talk down to people like they are one of your kids. I'm not one of your kids and you don't know any better than me. You are wasting your breath.
    Oh, man. Are you serious?

    Halla's telling you exactly what you need to hear, and going out of his way to help you, and you're going to do this?

    If you're not a kid, stop acting like one, bro.

    Halla, I wouldn't blame you for giving up on this guy now, but please don't give up on people. (I don't think you could ever, but I'm just saying) I appreciate what you do and what you have to say.

  8. #18
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    you ask for advice, and i'm pretty sure these people know what they're talking about. you know what be a miserable dick, no one cares.clearly you actually don't want advice. You probably think the OP makes you look bad ass and better than everyone. It doesn't it makes you look like a miserable asshole who doesn't deserve to kiss the ground other people walk on.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #19
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    Is your current way of going about things producing unsatisfactory results?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #20


    Your 'badass' facade is silly, you're not impressing anyone.

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