• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

.

zago

New member
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
1,162
MBTI Type
INTP
We just had a long discussion about this sort of thing in my "Why I'm bitter and or cynical thread." I concluded that to try to fit in is ultimately a waste of time and should be kept to a minimum so that it doesn't interfere with principles. Your true self is buried underneath somewhere. Spend your time paying too much attention to how others perceive you and you forget who you actually are.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
why would you pretend to be interested in something your not? I don't pretend, if they don't like me for hating football, i'll go find other people. I mean I like certain things and if you don't like them it doesn't matter because it just doesn't. what you're like has no bearing on whether we are friends there's other factors
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I do some girl pretending too. I usually try to keep it at the "if i don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" level. Just kinda finding things I can add that are genuine to try to steer the interaction in a direction I feel more comfortable in. But if directly confronted, I do kinda smile and go along sometimes. I try to get away with just staying quiet in those situations though, and can end up becoming a little anti-social or avoidant. Cuz I totally feel you, it's a crap feeling, and I hate doing it.

EDIT: i do just speak my mind a lot of the time too. i try to do so without tearing down whatever they've said, but i feel like it's good to introduce some heterogeneity of ideas and preferences in circles like that. newsflash, ladies: not every woman feels and thinks the same way as you.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
This is a tough question. I feel like this, too, with the exception that I run into this problem more with women than with other men. For some reason, if I'm interested in a woman, I am hell bent on convincing her that I'm an ESFJ. This results in the problem of me only attracting women I am incompatible with.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I used to act more like a badboy if I was interested in a girl because I got sick of being a nice guy cast aside for assholes. The friend zone is perhaps the most humiliating place a man can be placed, second only to being raped in prison.

In hindsight, it was silly because

a) I was expending so much energy trying to be someone else
and
b) if they didn't like me for who I was, were they really worth the trouble to begin with?
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I told my wife about how I pretend to check out women when I really don't care. I thought she might be mad but she laughed her ass off.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
You're married. Huh.

It was silly. I used to feel incredibly embarrassed growing up for not liking cars. Then I discovered the Mitsubishi GTO.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
Ok I'm a girl, which makes sense. But I have no interest in makeup, talking about boys, or shopping (the sterotypical girl stuff) so what I do is I don't really talk to girls about that kind of thing. If that's all they want to talk about, then I find someone else to talk to. I don't really change who I am to fit in, I find somewhere I already fit in. And it doesn't matter if who I'm talking to is male or female as long as we're both enjoying the conversation.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
You're married. Huh.

Surprised?

It was silly. I used to feel incredibly embarrassed growing up for not liking cars. Then I discovered the Mitsubishi GTO.

It's not that I didn't like women when I was younger, it's just that now that I have the ideal one, there's no interest in the others.
 

Alea_iacta_est

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2013
Messages
1,834
I know exactly what you are talking about, especially about changing accents. The way I deal with it is just looking at it as a strength, that you can weave your way into anywhere. It is fun to throw off the mask sometimes and surprise the people you are around though.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
Surprised?

You know, I was.

It's not that I didn't like women when I was younger, it's just that now that I have the ideal one, there's no interest in the others.

Ah, okay, that makes a fair deal of sense then. Sounds nice, I'm glad you have achieved that mentality. I don't know if I'll ever break myself of women :cry:
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
I've got two very simple letters for you all. The first one is 'P'
the second 'e'

[MENTION=20385]Alea_iacta_est[/MENTION] of course I trust what you would choose for yourself but fwiw you seem very ENTP to me.
 

Eruca

78% me
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
939
MBTI Type
INxx
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Those are called gender roles.

They are everywhere. :mellow:
 

Alea_iacta_est

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2013
Messages
1,834
[MENTION=20385]Alea_iacta_est[/MENTION] of course I trust what you would choose for yourself but fwiw you seem very ENTP to me.

I actually had to figure out that I'm an Ni user over an Ne user. I use much more introverted intuition than extroverted intuition and am more inclined to trust the former of which. I also prefer Te over Ti by a very minuscule amount even though the latter of which is a bit stronger. Basically I'm an INTJ that socially appears just like an ENTP or even an ENFJ, and that took some time to figure out. (Even more basically, I break stereotypes)
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
I actually had to figure out that I'm an Ni user over an Ne user. I use much more introverted intuition than extroverted intuition and am more inclined to trust the former of which. I also prefer Te over Ti by a very minuscule amount even though the latter of which is a bit stronger. Basically I'm an INTJ that socially appears just like an ENTP or even an ENFJ, and that took some time to figure out. (Even more basically, I break stereotypes)


I looked at how your functions lined up and you are truly unique - that's awesome. Ni>Ti with Se last would definitely allow you to operate like an ENTP when the situation called for it. Very cool.

^edit^I started laughing because what I wrote...I'm not sure I said what I wanted to say properly...I'm not sure there are words for what I wanted to say...but something tells me you will still understand somehow...which again is very cool.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=19700]Lyedecker[/MENTION]
for the record, this sounds much more 9w1 than 5w4.
 

Alea_iacta_est

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2013
Messages
1,834
I looked at how your functions lined up and you are truly unique - that's awesome. Ni>Ti with Se last would definitely allow you to operate like an ENTP when the situation called for it. Very cool.

I also look at it as being an ENTP that doesn't use Ne but uses Ni. If you notice, if I were to change my first function to Ne, then, with the exception of Te, I would be exactly an ENTP. But because Te is there, above Fe, and is accompanied by a dominant Ni, that means I'm an INTJ. It also means that I'm much more schizotypal than the regular person due to the coexistence of Ni and Ti (Ni and Ti loops are indicative of Schizotypal PD, Social Anxiety, and Avoidant PD).

Chameleonism is weird.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I also look at it as being an ENTP that doesn't use Ne but uses Ni. If you notice, if I were to change my first function to Ne, then, with the exception of Te, I would be exactly an ENTP. But because Te is there, above Fe, and is accompanied by a dominant Ni, that means I'm an INTJ. It also means that I'm much more schizotypal than the regular person due to the coexistence of Ni and Ti (Ni and Ti loops are indicative of Schizotypal PD, Social Anxiety, and Avoidant PD).

Chameleonism is weird.

Indeed. I don't know that I use Ni but it tends to be ranked high, right up with Ne, whenever I take those silly cognitive functions tests.

If I ignored the functions and went purely by type descriptions, I'd probably look more like an ENTp or INTp in the Socionics system. :shrug:

I've also scored INFp and INTj in socionics, so read what you want into that.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
speaking of being one of the guys when I was 11 I wondered what it was like to have a penis so I took a plastic tube put electrical tape over the top and pierced a whole in the electrical tape...and you can figure out the rest. This thread reminded me of that, I don't know why I thought that would tell me.
 
Top