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I had an amazing moment of clarity

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
So the other day I read something about ESTPs using their Ti on other people, analyzing the algorithm that runs other people, but not finding the algorithm of themselves. Essentially they are loose cannons until they turn their Ti inward.

So I decided to give it a try. I realized that too often my body does what it wants and I have no control over it. My Se dominates my Ti, and my Ti is a slave to my Se.

So I began "programming" my body to do what I wanted it to do. I spent a moment of meditation focussing on activating my Ti in such a way that I control myself, almost as if I am operating myself in third person, or actually controlling my body.

So I spend the rest of the day doing this. Then at one point I had to go help my friend with his car.

Then as we are driving through, I get this moment of clarity. Suddenly I am in absolute control of my life.

In that moment, the world went from 240p to 1080p. Suddenly I understood everyone's emotions. Suddenly I stopped viewing everyone as a threat, and as a lost scared child instead. In that moment I suddenly realized my purpose in life relative to others. In that moment I saw myself standing with my friends amidst the context of the world. It suddenly felt as if we were a small group of friends huddled together for comfort amidst the blizzard outside. One girl often made it a point to talk about how badass and tough she is, an ISTJ, the other girl is kinda simple and doesn't complain much, but that's also her flaw in that she is oblivious to anything outside her narrow vision, and the ENFJ was scared and spent the rest of the night huddled with his girlfriend (his car broke down and we came to help him out), and amidst all this I stood solitary like a protective parent. I suddenly realized that I push people away from me even though they look up to me, so there is often a frustration from others, they don't know how to talk to me. They want to but I don't let them, because I never understood what they wanted. I thought they were all self centered rational beings out to live life for themselves, but suddenly realized they are all scared lost children and that they would all become absolutely loyal if I gave them that bit of love or support they were missing in their lives. For the first time I saw these people as my equals, but I didn't fully understand how. I simply felt as if I was one of them.

I didn't have this mode of perception long enough to completely understand my own weaknesses in the situation, but regardless the whole experience was eye openning.

Just wanted to share. Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Anyone know what just happened to me?

It felt like this whole time I've been walking with my head clouded, and suddenly boom, I was transported down to earth.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Welcome to the fold :wink:

And no, you aint alone. This is where you stop being lived and start actually living and being able to monitor, prevent or even control knee-jerk reactions you weren't even aware existed within you. It'll still take some serious curiosity, interest and practice to fully get this kind of shift under your control and to implement everything that it opens up to you, but you've made the first step. It's an amazing freedom that you suddenly get, aint it?
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
4,413
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have to wonder, if you understand a person that well, are you capable of loving them?
 

hjgbujhghg

I am
Joined
Jun 6, 2013
Messages
3,333
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I've been there, it's that time you feel like you are able to completly concentrate on everything that really matter, everything makes sense and you're the king of your own life. You senses become stronger and you are able notice and see things you never could be before...When I've been there I always needed to remind myself to stay that and though for some time it felt great it was incredibly draining for me I couldn't do it more.
You guys who wrote here you live like that...how can you do that? How is to so, that you don't feel totally drained by it?
 

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
I've been there, it's that time you feel like you are able to completly concentrate on everything that really matter, everything makes sense and you're the king of your own life. You senses become stronger and you are able notice and see things you never could be before...When I've been there I always needed to remind myself to stay that and though for some time it felt great it was incredibly draining for me I couldn't do it more.
You guys who wrote here you live like that...how can you do that? How is to so, that you don't feel totally drained by it?

Its not draining for me at all. I mean, its... different... and it takes a little bit of conscious effort to make a transition from autopilot to manual, and then it kinda wears off after a bit. You don't need to do it 24/7.

And yes, I am capable of loving others with this. Moreso, actually. Love doesn't necessarily mean "be super happy and give comfort constantly" it just means you give them what most healthy for them.
 

NK258

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have to wonder, if you understand a person that well, are you capable of loving them?

Wouldn't understanding a person well promote deeper feelings of affection or love ?
 

NK258

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2014
Messages
284
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
This original post was refreshing. It's interesting because all my moments of clarity are sorta upside down. I understand their emotions but have to keep my feet on the ground and understand people's motivations better. I know that probably makes no sense to anyone. It's like, my head is so stuck in the deeper emotions such as sensing this person is just afraid and trying to push me away. And because I understand I'll be patient. Only then this allows my feelings to get stepped on. So essentially my moments of clarity are opposite. Respecting people's fear and not caring about them as much (?). Ugh .. Wtf. I'm a head case. :p


This is no longer refreshing. I changed my mind. I hate people this evening. Feeling scared makes me angry. I really want to kick someone super hard in the shin or something to make myself feel better. But there isn't any volunteers so instead. I'm being a party pooper. I'm trolling. Lol!!
 

Curtis B

New member
Joined
Feb 5, 2014
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
If I could get out of my head and really digest what I just read I think I'd like it. but tonight is not the time.

Glad you had a such an awakening.
 

zago

New member
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
1,162
MBTI Type
INTP
So the other day I read something about ESTPs using their Ti on other people, analyzing the algorithm that runs other people, but not finding the algorithm of themselves. Essentially they are loose cannons until they turn their Ti inward.

So I decided to give it a try. I realized that too often my body does what it wants and I have no control over it. My Se dominates my Ti, and my Ti is a slave to my Se.

So I began "programming" my body to do what I wanted it to do. I spent a moment of meditation focussing on activating my Ti in such a way that I control myself, almost as if I am operating myself in third person, or actually controlling my body.

So I spend the rest of the day doing this. Then at one point I had to go help my friend with his car.

Then as we are driving through, I get this moment of clarity. Suddenly I am in absolute control of my life.

In that moment, the world went from 240p to 1080p. Suddenly I understood everyone's emotions. Suddenly I stopped viewing everyone as a threat, and as a lost scared child instead. In that moment I suddenly realized my purpose in life relative to others. In that moment I saw myself standing with my friends amidst the context of the world. It suddenly felt as if we were a small group of friends huddled together for comfort amidst the blizzard outside. One girl often made it a point to talk about how badass and tough she is, an ISTJ, the other girl is kinda simple and doesn't complain much, but that's also her flaw in that she is oblivious to anything outside her narrow vision, and the ENFJ was scared and spent the rest of the night huddled with his girlfriend (his car broke down and we came to help him out), and amidst all this I stood solitary like a protective parent. I suddenly realized that I push people away from me even though they look up to me, so there is often a frustration from others, they don't know how to talk to me. They want to but I don't let them, because I never understood what they wanted. I thought they were all self centered rational beings out to live life for themselves, but suddenly realized they are all scared lost children and that they would all become absolutely loyal if I gave them that bit of love or support they were missing in their lives. For the first time I saw these people as my equals, but I didn't fully understand how. I simply felt as if I was one of them.

I didn't have this mode of perception long enough to completely understand my own weaknesses in the situation, but regardless the whole experience was eye openning.

Just wanted to share. Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? Anyone know what just happened to me?

It felt like this whole time I've been walking with my head clouded, and suddenly boom, I was transported down to earth.

TL;DR
 
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