Hypatia
trying to be a very good ENTP
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2011
- Messages
- 615
my mother tested as an infj, and i believe she is also a psychopath. she has many infj-like qualities -
she is perfectionist
spends a lot of time reading scientific research (love of learning)
she used to write poetry and stories a lot, not as much after she became a professional scientist
likes provoking people (something i have read that other infjs like to do as well)
i believe she is also a psychopath
she started abusing me when i was a child
she has a good idea of what people think and how they will react, and she makes up stories in order to manipulate them.
she sees me as an inconvenience - she left me when i was a few months old to immigrate to the united states with my father. she told me while i was growing up it was a sacrifice on her part so she could make a better life for me, but my father told me later this was never the case. he said that after i was born she expressed disinterest in me and did not want to take care of me; she refused to stay with me and wanted to accompany my dad to the u.s (he was accepted in a graduate program in america). after nearly six years, her mother (my maternal grandmother) got worried because she would never hear from her about me, and i think that persuaded my dad to send for me. my dad sort of just listens to my mom mostly (they're divorced now, but when they were married, that's how he was.)
i think i amused my mom mostly around the ages of 6-7. i think that was because i was mostly nice to her and didn't cause her that much trouble, she could do what she wanted and mold me into what she liked. but when i started developing more of a personality, she started using violence to enforce her desires. she would devise sadistic games, like break glass on me if i didn't anticipate her needs. there was a lot of violence in my house. i think she found it amusing and useful to make me believe things that would make me more vulnerable and susceptible to her control. she told me that my paternal grandfather was a pedophile when i was a little girl and he was visiting, because she was mad at him. when other people noticed some weird things like wounds on me she convinced them that i did them to myself - she was able to fool teachers and social workers.
growing up i didn't realize how weird and abnormal my childhood was, and i've experienced a lot of shame for having experienced those things. it's a common phenomenon - victims feel shame. i feel like i survived hell only to win nothing on the other side. i wonder if i have ptsd. i have wondered if other infjs can shed some insight into how psychopathy and infj traits can combine. for example, like i mentioned, i have read that infjs like to provoke people. my mother took it too far, though. this is a personal topic, so i welcome constructive feedback only. i have refrained from mentioning more sinister details, but a social worker who was involved in my case (before my mother moved me to a different county to escape consequences) said it was the worst she had ever seen.
she is perfectionist
spends a lot of time reading scientific research (love of learning)
she used to write poetry and stories a lot, not as much after she became a professional scientist
likes provoking people (something i have read that other infjs like to do as well)
i believe she is also a psychopath
she started abusing me when i was a child
she has a good idea of what people think and how they will react, and she makes up stories in order to manipulate them.
she sees me as an inconvenience - she left me when i was a few months old to immigrate to the united states with my father. she told me while i was growing up it was a sacrifice on her part so she could make a better life for me, but my father told me later this was never the case. he said that after i was born she expressed disinterest in me and did not want to take care of me; she refused to stay with me and wanted to accompany my dad to the u.s (he was accepted in a graduate program in america). after nearly six years, her mother (my maternal grandmother) got worried because she would never hear from her about me, and i think that persuaded my dad to send for me. my dad sort of just listens to my mom mostly (they're divorced now, but when they were married, that's how he was.)
i think i amused my mom mostly around the ages of 6-7. i think that was because i was mostly nice to her and didn't cause her that much trouble, she could do what she wanted and mold me into what she liked. but when i started developing more of a personality, she started using violence to enforce her desires. she would devise sadistic games, like break glass on me if i didn't anticipate her needs. there was a lot of violence in my house. i think she found it amusing and useful to make me believe things that would make me more vulnerable and susceptible to her control. she told me that my paternal grandfather was a pedophile when i was a little girl and he was visiting, because she was mad at him. when other people noticed some weird things like wounds on me she convinced them that i did them to myself - she was able to fool teachers and social workers.
growing up i didn't realize how weird and abnormal my childhood was, and i've experienced a lot of shame for having experienced those things. it's a common phenomenon - victims feel shame. i feel like i survived hell only to win nothing on the other side. i wonder if i have ptsd. i have wondered if other infjs can shed some insight into how psychopathy and infj traits can combine. for example, like i mentioned, i have read that infjs like to provoke people. my mother took it too far, though. this is a personal topic, so i welcome constructive feedback only. i have refrained from mentioning more sinister details, but a social worker who was involved in my case (before my mother moved me to a different county to escape consequences) said it was the worst she had ever seen.
