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Trusting intuition regarding major life decisions

Ilah

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Jul 13, 2008
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274
MBTI Type
INTJ
My decision to change from the faith I was raised in to follow another path was based on intuition, but I don't know that I experienced my intuition as a flash of insite. It was kind of a slow, persistant thing. That was probably because I was resistant to it at first.

I tend not to make quick judgements. I tend to let things sit in my head a while. To be honest, I am not comfortable with having to make quick decisions. If I can go back and chose the same choice I made a week or two ago, I feel better about the choice.

One major decision I made based on intuition was to stop taking a medicine I was on. It turned out to be the right choice because I was having some medical problems that turned out to be side effects to the medication. The side effects did not show up till after I had been on the medication around 8 months and had not changed dosage in the last 5 months. All the doctors I went to said it couldn't be the medication because I would have felt the side effects earlier. I was resistant to that one as well because it contradicted what the doctors told me and I could not think of any rational reason to explain my decision.

I also recently chose two new exercise programs (a dance program and a strenght program) based on dream interpretation and intuition. It is still to early to tell if they are the right choice for me. Well I do feel more flexible and looser in my muscles from doing the dance program only a short time so that is one positive thing.

Ilah
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
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INFP
I think i have done all the major life decisions based on intuition. There's a pattern. First I get more and more bored with the current way things are going (this can go on for quite a while, years even), then I make a dramatic turn-around (leaving everybody thinking ive lost my marbles). Later on I will see that the change has given me exactly what I needed, even if I didnt know it consciously. The same happens when there's a deadline for a decision. I wait to the last minute and choose something that makes no sense at the time.

I've been thinking, though, that there is no proof if this really is me choosing the best option with intuition, or if it is just my way to explain to myself that an option has been the right one, when in fact it might have been the wrong one. But, then again... even if I choose these things randomly... why not? Is there a right way to choose your path in life?
 

edcoaching

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I've been thinking, though, that there is no proof if this really is me choosing the best option with intuition, or if it is just my way to explain to myself that an option has been the right one, when in fact it might have been the wrong one. But, then again... even if I choose these things randomly... why not? Is there a right way to choose your path in life?

There's some research out there that says we make the best decision when we go with our dominant function--if we've learned to use it well. For example, if an Intuitive child lived with parents who, every time he/she expressed an intuition, said, "Where are your facts? You can't just pull something out of thin air. Now go back and put some time into this" RATHER than encourage the child to reason backward from their intuition to see if it checks out well, he/she might never trust those flashes and may never really master the other path either.

If you're intuition's working, use it! I'm Ni, my partner is Se, and it amazes me how he doesn't trust his Intuition at all, or sometimes understand how I can make what seem like leaps into black holes. On the other hand his decisions work really well for him and I'm amazed at the amount of legwork he can do building the database before making one. But it works for him.
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
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I'm talking about momentary flashes of insight that guide a MAJOR DECISION IN YOUR LIFE. You can call it Ni if it helps, but I'm particularly talking about a moment where you step back and survey a situation subconsciously to gain sudden insight into whatever is going on. I've seen in described in psychological literature (by Liberman, et al) as implicit processing -- beyond or before language.

Do you trust those insights? Have you ever been betrayed by those intuitive leaps?

It's not necessarily Ni -- both modes require some internalizing before action... connections don't happen by magic.

Relevant to the question you actually asked, of course I trust them. It's where most of my posting history comes from. Often they're pretty convoluted, but they still end up being right. I call those good days.

As far as making major life decisions... well I'm pretty good at backing out of anything. I don't have any major life decisions. Commitment etc. exists only on paper, or if you have lots of chains.
 

Ilah

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Jul 13, 2008
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274
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INTJ
That describes my experience, except that I wouldn't blame it all on my parents. It seemed to me like I was always asked by just about everyone to explain/justify my unusual choices. I think this pushed me to lean more strongly on my T. Sometimes I could come up with a logical rational that matched what my N told me. In general though I came to devalue my N and to ignore it when I could not find any logic that matched it.

What I want to know is how can I get back to strenghening my N, learning to trust it, making up for retarding it's natural growth, etc.?

Ilah

There's some research out there that says we make the best decision when we go with our dominant function--if we've learned to use it well. For example, if an Intuitive child lived with parents who, every time he/she expressed an intuition, said, "Where are your facts? You can't just pull something out of thin air. Now go back and put some time into this" RATHER than encourage the child to reason backward from their intuition to see if it checks out well, he/she might never trust those flashes and may never really master the other path either.

QUOTE]
 

edcoaching

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That describes my experience, except that I wouldn't blame it all on my parents. It seemed to me like I was always asked by just about everyone to explain/justify my unusual choices. I think this pushed me to lean more strongly on my T. Sometimes I could come up with a logical rational that matched what my N told me. In general though I came to devalue my N and to ignore it when I could not find any logic that matched it.

What I want to know is how can I get back to strenghening my N, learning to trust it, making up for retarding it's natural growth, etc.?

If you're really INTP then Ti would be the dominant. With others though you'd express Ne--ideas that might seem like brainstorming for those listening. Usually, it works for Ti's to generate those ideas in conversation with someone they consider a good sounding board and perhaps talk through criteria for the decision as well. Then, alone, the Ti would compare the ideas to internal principles, considering precedents, goals, and consistency with other aspects of life. Gathering more data or taking the time to theorize usually builds confidence.

INTJs, with Ni as the dominant, would take a whole different approach to improving their facility with Ni--and it might take a bit of a thick skin. The best gut feelings would come from time alone. Then they might need to work on Te with a trusted other (someone who will encourage instead of critiquing too quickly) to discern the merit of the choice.

As an INFJ, the older I get, the less I like acting solo even though I've had success trusting my Ni. There's a confidence level and wisdom that comes from talking through a scheme with someone else. Sometimes the basics stay the same but I gain insights into what else I should consider, steps that increase the odds of success, how I might garner more support (even monetarily) and so on.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
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INFP
There's some research out there that says we make the best decision when we go with our dominant function--if we've learned to use it well. For example, if an Intuitive child lived with parents who, every time he/she expressed an intuition, said, "Where are your facts? You can't just pull something out of thin air. Now go back and put some time into this" RATHER than encourage the child to reason backward from their intuition to see if it checks out well, he/she might never trust those flashes and may never really master the other path either.

Well, I could have used my T to replace my N partially. The problem with intuition is that you cant really test if it works. With logic its a different case. Can you recommend good books about the subject?
 

edcoaching

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Well, I could have used my T to replace my N partially. The problem with intuition is that you cant really test if it works. With logic its a different case. Can you recommend good books about the subject?

I'm checking around. Have you seen the actual problem-solving model Myers developed?
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
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Dude Edahn did you answer your own OP?

I wanna hear what you got to say.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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May 11, 2007
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Dude Edahn did you answer your own OP?

I wanna hear what you got to say.

I've been thinking about it a lot these past couple days and honestly, I'm not 100% sure.

Part of the question is "what is that intuition?" Some people, like my friend, assign some sacred value, as if the intuition is never wrong. I'm not so sure. I have a feeling that what those intuitive moments signal is not necessarily what's BEST for you, but what you really feel deep down when all the forces that steer your decision in some direction are quieted. For that reason, you feel calm when you get these insights. So, I think it's a good indicator of how you really feel, but not necessarily a good indicator of truth for the content of what you feel. Meaning, you could be feeling like someone is a shithead. Your feeling is totally true, but whether or not that person is a shithead is still up for debate.

(By the way, that was a totally arbitrary example. I don't think you're a shithead.)
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
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I'll say.

That doesn't seem like a major life decision. Maybe it is -- maybe that person will be your worst enemy or best friend...

If you act on that feeling, which is to shun the presumed shit head, then you'll never know. That's true. We're not talking about Jung's intuition here -- I understand that. Certainly there's some overlap, but I don't think that the intuition you're describing is constrained by N functions. Sounds like there's a good bit of F in there and maybe something I can't identify because of the glare of the typology reference.

Anyway, you didn't say anything about action. Just... assumptions. That all remains in your head though. Or is that the kind of major decision you meant?
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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I'll say.

That doesn't seem like a major life decision. Maybe it is -- maybe that person will be your worst enemy or best friend...

If you act on that feeling, which is to shun the presumed shit head, then you'll never know. That's true. We're not talking about Jung's intuition here -- I understand that. Certainly there's some overlap, but I don't think that the intuition you're describing is constrained by N functions. Sounds like there's a good bit of F in there and maybe something I can't identify because of the glare of the typology reference.

Anyway, you didn't say anything about action. Just... assumptions. That all remains in your head though. Or is that the kind of major decision you meant?

The real thing I'm talking about is intuitions about deep compatibility.
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
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So of a personal nature.

Kay.

I figured major life decisions included like, whether to buy a house or to buy a condo or maybe a Lamborghini vs. children debate.

I guess deciding which bitch to marry counts too.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
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Have you seen the actual problem-solving model Myers developed?

No. Is it, like, type specific way to solve problems? I actually haven't read any books from Myers. They're so hard to come by that if I want to read one, ill have to buy it. The town library is too damn small for me...
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
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Jun 23, 2008
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6,880
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xNFP
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sx/so
I'm talking about momentary flashes of insight that guide a MAJOR DECISION IN YOUR LIFE. You can call it Ni if it helps, but I'm particularly talking about a moment where you step back and survey a situation subconsciously to gain sudden insight into whatever is going on. I've seen in described in psychological literature (by Liberman, et al) as implicit processing -- beyond or before language.

Do you trust those insights? Have you ever been betrayed by those intuitive leaps?

Personally, I almost always follow my insights. My insights are usually correct, although I do not always perceive the right reasons for my insights, if that makes any sense. So for example, I will perceive that someone is angry, although they do not even look that way, but I will put the blame on myself, although the blame lies elsewhere. However, that is a really banal example.

Some more poignant examples revolve around my decisions to get married, my decision to go to a certain place to gain employment and avoid another. Usually, my insights involving important people and decisions in my life are correct. Everything moves so quickly that the only judgment mechanism that I have is my Ne, which admittedly is not that healthy. :shock:

However, I find that if my emotions are too involved, I can easily IGNORE my insights, which is detrimental. Or I can apply incorrect judgment to my intuition (deadly!!!) Or I make incorrect, impetuous actions because I do not think things through. However, the basis was almost always correct.
 

edcoaching

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One of my friends just published a booklet called Intro to Type and Decision making. You have to be MBTI qualified to purchase it, but here's her bibliography of good decision books...she also emailed me that one of her recent favorites is The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz. If your local library is small, maybe the list will give you enough options to find something.

The other thing is to never hesitate re talking about decisions with someone. For one thing, using both E and I processes automatically helps you use both Ne and Ti and that's a really good thing. For another, If the person is sincerely interested you have someone to check your thinking in both processes. I just spent the morning with a colleague whom you'd probably consider past middle age for whom I'm acting as a sounding board for a life decision. The older I get the more I actually seek second opinions--and I haven't really made any disastrous major decisions...

Bazerman, M. A., Neale, M. A. (1992). Negotiating rationally. New York: The Free Press.

deBono, E. (1999). Six thinking hats. New York: Little, Brown and Company.

Garvin, D. A., & Roberto, M. A. (2001). What you donknow about making decisions. Harvard Business Review, 79(8), 108-116.

Hammond, J. S., Keeney, R. L., & Raiffa, H. (1999). Smart choices: A practical guide to making better decisions. Boston: Harvard Business School Press.

Kindler, H. S. (1990). Risk taking: A guide for decision makers. Los Altos, CA: Crisp Publications, Inc.

Linder, K. (2005). Crunch time™: Eight steps to making the right life decisions at the right times. New York: Gotham Books.

March, J. G., with Heath, C. (1994). A primer on decision making: How decisions happen. New York: The Free Press.

Quinlivan-Hall, D., & Renner, P. (1994). In search of solutions: 60 ways to guide your problem-solving group. San Diego: Pfeiffer & Company.

Russo, J. E., Shoemaker, P. J. H. (1989). Decision traps: Ten barriers to brilliant decision-making and how to overcome them. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Russo, J. E., Shoemaker, P. J. H., with Hittleman, M. (2002). Winning decisions: Getting it right the first time. New York: Currency/Doubleday.

Wheeler, D. D., & Janis, I. L. (1980). A practical guide for making decisions. New York: The Free Press.
 
Last edited:

Ilah

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I have been thinking on this and I wonder if I am actually INTJ instead of INTP. I know I am introverted so my dominant function would be introverted. T seems much stronger than N.

However....

I was looking through I book I have Building Blocks or Personality Type by Leona Hass and Mark Hunziker. It has a chapter for each introvert and extrovert trait, Ni, Ne, Ti, Te, etc. I identify very strongly with the description it has of Ni. I don't indentify as much with Ne. Most signficantly, Ne is supposed to good at reading people. I am really bad at this. In addition exploring my N choices in a more solitary manner seems like the right path to me, like this is the path my N is telling me to take.

With T I really can't decide if Ti or Te fits me more. Maybe a combination of Te but a strong introvert personality could resemble a Ti?

I am thinking that maybe because my dominant aspect was so put down, the secondary aspect took over.

Maybe I should do one of those "what type am I" posts, but I would rather wait till I have been here longer for that.

Ilah
 

absoluteuncertainty

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Jul 26, 2008
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ENFP
Wow, I don't think I've ever even thought about this before, but pretty much any 'major' decision was done through intuition with or without substantial supporting evidence to back it.

Leaving jobs / relationships, pulling away from people or pulling to them, accepting my current job over other offers (when I really had no idea what I'd be doing), the vehicle I recently purchased, a major move for me to live with people I barely knew (cross country move, even!)...

I guess I just tend to roll with however I feel at the moment! :D

Sorry if I didn't answer the question completely or as accurately as you'd like!
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
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I find this difficult and consequently rarely follow raw intuition in making major decisions.
 

yenom

Alexander the Terrible
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Aug 3, 2008
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I was looking through I book I have Building Blocks or Personality Type by Leona Hass and Mark Hunziker. It has a chapter for each introvert and extrovert trait, Ni, Ne, Ti, Te, etc. I identify very strongly with the description it has of Ni. I don't indentify as much with Ne. Most signficantly, Ne is supposed to good at reading people. I am really bad at this. In addition exploring my N choices in a more solitary manner seems like the right path to me, like this is the path my N is telling me to take.

Ilah

Ne is not good at reading people. Ne is good at seeing things that seems obvious but nobody sense them yet.

But then trusting Ne is like trying to find your way to a destination without looking at a map.
 
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