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ii hate taking meds

prplchknz

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I ran out of meds for 3 days discovered if I swallow one that's suppose to dissolve if I swallow it won't work. but one I swallow calms me down and I get watched when I take it I've been sleeping less and the few hours before I take my meds I know I can do anything.so I need to harness this but I need to cheek the swallowey one or puke it up because if I'm calm I can't harness.I'm not asking for advice just venting
 

Tiltyred

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Ooo, venting about meds, yes! I had horrible stomach pain, ate lunch thinking it would help, almost immediately after puked so hard I felt like I was turning myself inside out, trembled hard all over and broke out in a cold sweat and then retched for about half an hour. Now, which pill did that? Was it the blue one, or the white one? "Increase as tolerated" Um. Nowhere near the dosage I'm supposed to get to and I'ma say I can't tolerate much more of this ... :shock:

I never understood the meds drama. Wow, do I ever understand it now.
 

prplchknz

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Ooo, venting about meds, yes! I had horrible stomach pain, ate lunch thinking it would help, almost immediately after puked so hard I felt like I was turning myself inside out, trembled hard all over and broke out in a cold sweat and then retched for about half an hour. Now, which pill did that? Was it the blue one, or the white one? "Increase as tolerated" Um. Nowhere near the dosage I'm supposed to get to and I'ma say I can't tolerate much more of this ... :shock:

I never understood the meds drama. Wow, do I ever understand it now.

maybe you should call the doctor

I don't have physical side effects it just kills my mania andtthat's bad
 

Udog

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I don't have physical side effects it just kills my mania andtthat's bad

But doesn't it also kill your depressive state as well? Or would you prefer to keep both, in a perfect world?
 

prplchknz

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But doesn't it also kill your depressive state as well? Or would you prefer to keep both, in a perfect world?

I have a plan to harness the mania and never crash
 

Halla74

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I have a plan to harness the mania and never crash

Hey prplchknz! :hifive:

You know, I had that same plan for a veeeerrrrryyyy long time.
It sounds good, in fact - it sounds GREAT...however... :huh:

What goes UP, must come DOWN. :dry:

Believe me, if anyone has ever embraced mania in its purest, most extreme form it's me.
After years, and years and YEARS of staying up, up, up all the time with little down time in between - my biochemistry changed.
Maybe aging had something to do with it; I honestly don't know - but I can tell you this, when I finally did crash, I crashed HARD and I burrrrned - and then I did it all over again...

BUT...

On the next upward bounce I was a bit wary, I tried to level off (not always successfully) and for some reason it made sense, and I kept chasing that.
Crash and burn, crash and burn, up and up and up I went and id it all again.
About a decade later I found what I know as a "middle ground" - a state where I can enjoy the best parts of the gift that is mania, but keep myself from throttling through the roof of it.
And that's really the weird part.
Why would you want to stop the upward momentum, right?
In my case, it was because at some point I realized that each time I tried to level off the throttle, whenever the next crash and burn happened, it was closer to a "fender bender" than a "head on collision."

Eventually the time in between crashes gets longer and longer, and the severity of each crash becomes less and less, and the burn of each crash goes from an inferno to a mild burn that heals quickly, at least for me it did. I hope something similarly awesome happens for you very soon.

I am not preaching, and I can't say what the right choice is for you with any medication whatsoever, but I do sincerely wish for you to find relief, and to be happy, and to be well.
Just keep trying! Embrace all the good you know, and don't give up hope, at some point waiting things out and trying to find a good place pays off, it's just a different recipe for each one of us.

Take care, and keep the faith.

:solidarity:

-Halla74
 

Udog

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I haven't figured it out yet but I will

Ah yes, spoken like a true INFP! Making the plan is but a small detail to any good plan. :D
 

cafe

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I don't really get manic, but I tried to pre-empt seasonal depression by going on Celexa and it made me so tired I couldn't function even as well as I did with seasonal depression. Lamictal made me jittery and unable to remember words I wanted. I don't remember what Straterra did specifically, but I remember it being really awful.
 

baccheion

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I don't really get manic, but I tried to pre-empt seasonal depression by going on Celexa and it made me so tired I couldn't function even as well as I did with seasonal depression. Lamictal made me jittery and unable to remember words I wanted. I don't remember what Straterra did specifically, but I remember it being really awful.

Could this be related to low vitamin D levels?
 
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ceecee

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Ooo, venting about meds, yes! I had horrible stomach pain, ate lunch thinking it would help, almost immediately after puked so hard I felt like I was turning myself inside out, trembled hard all over and broke out in a cold sweat and then retched for about half an hour. Now, which pill did that? Was it the blue one, or the white one? "Increase as tolerated" Um. Nowhere near the dosage I'm supposed to get to and I'ma say I can't tolerate much more of this ... :shock:

I never understood the meds drama. Wow, do I ever understand it now.

I have a fracture in my L5 vertebrae, a condition with a long assed name. I have 3 meds, one for nerve pain, one for pain and one to relax the muscles that clamp on the nerve like a vice. This cocktail makes me feel completely manic. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. 2am, 3am, 4am....I'm cleaning the tile floor in the bathroom with a toothbrush after I've cleaned the whole house, just to come up with something else to do. Tv and reading are out, I can't concentrate enough. I'm stoned yet wired and I crash around 7am. Needless to say, I'm not taking this combo anymore. I can see why people would want to feel this way, you get a lot accomplished and you feel like you can do anything but it was really unpleasant for me.
 

Concur_Withall

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Drugs can be quite debilitating, and it doesn't help that they're forced on us...

I hope my child grows up drug free. If I have a child and the doctors prescribe hir meds, I'm going on a rampage.
 

Tiltyred

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Bipolar people can't take antidepressants. It makes them worse. Unless it's certain kinds, combined with a mood stabilizer.
 

Ivy

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Beta blockers, amirite? Take my ACE inhibitor, please! People with heart arrhythmias be all, "my heart doesn't beat right, wah wah wah."

But I'm not bitter.
 

skylights

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I've been on prophylactic antibiotics for as long as I can remember. My mom used to crush the nasty huge pill up and put it in mushy food. I liked cookies-n-cream ice cream best, but it got kind of gritty and bitter with the pill in there. Applesauce hid it better and was quicker to swallow. Later when I just swallowed it straight, I had to position it JUST RIGHT on my tongue or it'd scrape the whole way down my throat and taste awful for hours.

In high school I started taking meds for ADD, too, and those were a bitch. Strattera, Ritalin, and Concerta just made me shaky and hyper. Adderall was awesome... at first. I dropped 30 pounds in like 3 weeks, got all my homework done early and cleaned EVERYTHING, and stayed up like 21 hours a day. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep or eat for 3 days. I thought it was incredible, but then the crashes and withdrawals started getting worse and worse. The psychiatrist decided to titrate my dosage up, and I ended up having a psychotic episode during a withdrawal. I felt the "bugs in your skin" feeling and I attacked my mom for touching me when I told her not to get close. That was the end of that for me. With the doctor's approval, I titrated myself back down and just kept my bottle of the lowest dosage around to take as needed. It's been 7 years since I took my last one.

@prplchknz Do you enjoy the mania? When I was taking a high dose of Adderall it would feel amazing sometimes but there was also always a lingering trace of bad feeling too. Not just the side effects but I could drop into irritability really easily. It was like I was running as fast as the world but sometimes I'd get angry when other people couldn't keep up with me. I eventually felt like I just couldn't ride that wave anymore, it wasn't the "real me" and it wasn't worth the sacrifice. But that was drug-induced mania, and maybe yours feels quite different.
 

prplchknz

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In high school I started taking meds for ADD, too, and those were a bitch. Strattera, Ritalin, and Concerta just made me shaky and hyper. Adderall was awesome... at first. I dropped 30 pounds in like 3 weeks, got all my homework done early and cleaned EVERYTHING, and stayed up like 21 hours a day. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep or eat for 3 days. I thought it was incredible, but then the crashes and withdrawals started getting worse and worse. The psychiatrist decided to titrate my dosage up, and I ended up having a psychotic episode during a withdrawal. I felt the "bugs in your skin" feeling and I attacked my mom for touching me when I told her not to get close. That was the end of that for me. With the doctor's approval, I titrated myself back down and just kept my bottle of the lowest dosage around to take as needed. It's been 7 years since I took my last one.

@prplchknz Do you enjoy the mania? When I was taking a high dose of Adderall it would feel amazing sometimes but there was also always a lingering trace of bad feeling too. Not just the side effects but I could drop into irritability really easily. It was like I was running as fast as the world but sometimes I'd get angry when other people couldn't keep up with me. I eventually felt like I just couldn't ride that wave anymore, it wasn't the "real me" and it wasn't worth the sacrifice. But that was drug-induced mania, and maybe yours feels quite different.
no thats pretty much what it's like. today I feel too manic like I can't really focus on anything and I need to harness the mania so no more than four hours of sleep more than that my mind races too much. but I did feel better while making sweet potatoes
 

skylights

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no thats pretty much what it's like. today I feel too manic like I can't really focus on anything and I need to harness the mania so no more than four hours of sleep more than that my mind races too much. but I did feel better while making sweet potatoes

:hug: I understand that feeling. Speaking of moving faster than others, your mind can move faster than yourself, too!

Sweet potatoes are delicious. :happy2:
 
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