Which specific compliments rub you the wrong way?

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

If I say someone is chill, it doesn't mean I think they're boring. ^ What @nicolita said.

I only say someone is chill if I'm talking to Arnold Schwarnegger in Batman & Robin. So, I never call someone chill.


"You have similar values." Or something related to political opinions. Believe it or not, there are lots of men who aren't Republican, so that's not a ringing endorsement.

Also... I agree that being called "nice" is annoying. If someone calls me kind, that's ok. But nice=boring.

 

[mcgooglian]

I couldn't come up with an answer to this thread until I read this. Same here.

Those kinds of compliments just sound cheap to me. Anybody can say them without putting any thought into them.

 

[highlander]

The only compliments that bother me are the ones that appear to be an attempt at manipulation (e.g., sucking up). I don't seek praise really at all, and am sometimes uncomfortable in the moment I'm getting it, but a sincere and meaningful compliment from someone I respect is definitely appreciated.

 

[93JC]

Any general compliment like "You're so smart" and whatnot rub me the wrong way. I want to know specifically why you think that.

Worse than that: "You're so nice." It's the most generalized, non-descript compliment you can throw at someone.

Although I don't mind it as long as it comes from a place of sincerity.

 

[Glycerine]

"Good job" without any explanation as to how I did a good job.

 

[prplchknz]

"Good job" without any explanation as to how I did a good job.

what if it's a hand job or a blow job? would you be confused then?

 

[Glycerine]

Hah! You got me.

 

[Ginkgo]

In a prior post, I alluded to the process of differentiating yourself from others' perspectives.

However, I think there are a few complements that irk me - how they irk me largely depends on whether I think they're appropriate for the context.

For instance, if I make a honed effort to deliver explanations or thoughts for a friend, I'd rather someone complement me for being helpful than for being intelligent.

Basically, most complements that refer to a static property that I can't control get under my skin to a degree.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Compliments that graze only the surface of something that end up completely ignoring something more important that lurks beneath the surface get to me. Or compliments that show what the complimenter values versus what I, the supposed complimentee, values.

 

[greenfairy]

No. I pretty much take all compliments.

Some I value more than others though. Like if someone says I'm selfless or something I might not think that is such a great thing as it allows you to be taken advantage of. I value competence more than compassion in general.

 

[AzulEyes]

Compliments that seem insincere - or are literally meant to be sarcastic. (If you can't say something nice- don't say anything at all.)
Compliments about weight loss because it's like they are saying, "You were fatty before and now you're skinny- good job!" lol
If there is a sincere compliment- it's always made me feel uncomfortable, but I have grown to appreciate this effort someone would make on my behalf and always strive to give a sincere, "thank you" back.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

The only compliments that bother me are the ones that appear to be an attempt at manipulation (e.g., sucking up).

Yes, this makes me very uneasy. I don't think it's always manipulation- sometimes I think people are just nervous and it seems like 'you can't go wrong by throwing a compliment out there' to get to know people....but it still makes me feel wary. [Possibly because there are people out there who like to be complimented thusly, and it almost offends me to get mistaken as one of them.]

 

[rav3n]

The cute word. Puppies, kittens and babies are cute.

 

[prplchknz]

shallow ones with no effort. my room mate had to compliment me and said i was intelligent. it's like that's not a compliment because you can be intelligent and an asshole.plus i don't like her. I told her this nicely today but still managed to give a sincere compliment