Shying away from private messaging...

[nemo]

Ok, Falcarius has a confession... He have never initiated a 'personal message' with any other member of MBTIc other than a few of the madmin, even then it was so they would feel wanted. Also, he has only ever gave something like one comment for every ten received in the 'comment section'.

Falcarius used to ignore most of the personal messages that did not ask him a direct question. He keeps getting these odd messages from new people saying how they have been lurking for a while and wanted to let him know how much they love his funny stories; Falcarius never knows how to reply.

One day someone personal messaged Falcarius and told him that she thought he had the coolest profile on the whole of this forum. She also mentioned how he also voted for the 'weird option' in a poll in which the question was what type was she. Just thinking about it makes him feel woebegone as he has not seen her post since; he wonders if it is his fault.:confused:

Ever since the incident he just mentioned before Falcarius has replied to nearly all his personal messages even the one from a self-described "weird" individual who was naturally interested in other "different" things. And an Australian called something strange like Qantassaurus, she seems to be a bit lost and ended up in the same forest as Falcarius.

Falcarius,

You are awesome.

I don't think I've ever interacted with you or crossed your path, but I can see why people would PM you out of nowhere. Because you're awesome. And a dinosaur. And your posts are hilarious.

I just thought I should say that.

Sincerely,
Nemo

[Jae Rae]

...I find PMs a more comfortable way to talk in many cases because I equate it to a one-on-one conversation where I just feel more comfortable talking about certain things and also I like not feeling obligated to stay on-topic (some of my PMs are just because I want to comment or branch a thread on a tangent and don't want to de-rail the existing one).

I sometimes PM folks if I'm writing about something I think they might not want discussed on a public forum, eg, comments on their blogs.

[The Ü™]

I PMed all the girls on INTPc within about 2 weeks of joining. I got responses from one or two and felt awkward around the others for a while. It went away pretty quick and I laid the groundwork for friendship later on, after they got to know me a little (circa 2000 posts and a year later).

Just curious, did you ever end up meeting any of these people?

[Giggly]

It's interesting because I once got a PM from a member who seemed inviting in this context, but in the public forum, this person continued to have a bitter hostility against me and it was kind of confusing.

Part of my lack of responding to this particular message had to do with the contradictory nature between public and private, part had to do with my loss of words, and part of it had to do with my suspicion aroused by the facts.

I have not PMed on this forum before, but I can assure you that there is a lot of PMing going on. It shocked me too when I first learned. It's mostly going on between the less shy people. And if the shy people are so lucky, a less shy person takes a liking to a shy person and initiates and carries on a PM conversation with them. Also I have experienced exactly what you described in this post about someone having a completely different personality in PM and in public. I didn't respond to that too well either.

[Sniffles]

Well I receieved a PM earlier today. Yeah!

[Giggly]

I PMed all the girls on INTPc within about 2 weeks of joining. I got responses from one or two and felt awkward around the others for a while.

That's called "playing the numbers" and works if you're not very picky about who you end up with, or about ruining your chances with other girls.

[The Ü™]

What is the purpose of PMing, for you guys, is it just to chat or does it eventually evolve into actual substance?

[LucrativeSid]

I would love getting PMs and I have no problem sending them. I can sort of tell by the response how much the person wants to talk, and if they don't seem to enjoy it, I just forget about it and stop bugging them. However, I don't post very often so I don't really know anybody here, and most of what I say is public. So I rarely send messages and people rarely send them to me. I don't blame them. They probably have never heard of me before!

Usually, if somebody initiates conversation with me, I'll enjoy it and equally match any amount of enthusiasm that they have, or I will exceed it. I have no problem talking about one thing consistently and keeping it impersonal, like a private thread, or going into anything else that comes up and happens.

I'm more inclined to enjoy Skype, Vent, or a chatroom, though. Nobody ever goes in the chatroom here! The people I know from this place are the ones I've talked to outside of the forum.

[TenebrousReflection]

What is the purpose of PMing, for you guys, is it just to chat or does it eventually evolve into actual substance?

In the case of the ones I've sent, these are the most common reasons in order of what motivates me to PM someone.

I want to talk to someone about something and it to not be out there for everyone else to read (more emotional or personal stuff - usually because I think the person I'm PMing will be understanding of what I want to talk about with them and want to hear their thoughts on it (without them or I worrying about others seeing it)).

I want to respond to something written in a thread directed specifically at that what that person wrote (generally its off-topic stuff, sometimes if its an old thread and I don't want to resurrect it ask a specific question of one person)

I related to something the poster wrote and I wanted to comment or offer a sympathetic ear (a way of saying your not alone regarding that experience etc) and possibly offer to talk about it more if they want.

I don't see any of those a being "just chat" or small talk, so perhaps I misinterpreted your original use of the word "business" regarding PMs. If by that word you meant conversations about something with some substance, then yes, my use of PMs would be more business and less fluff, but my interpretation of the word was for administrative or mechanical purposes (to arrange some desired outcome). A conversation that started with substance may eventually run out of things to talk about and turn into fluff and chit-chat, but I don't think I've ever started a PM conversation without some specific desired subject matter.

Regarding one of the other previous posts, I do consider myself extremely shy (at least off-line), but I'm fairly comfortable with PMs for the reason I mentioned previously (I see them like little one on one conversations). I probably only send 0 to 3 unsolicited PMs a week (when I'm relatively active here, zero when I'm distracted with other things ), and that is probably low compared to less shy people.

[Giggly]

Uber, I think that sometimes rep leads to PM's too. just wanted to mention that to you. At least I've noticed that people ask questions there that you would have to PM them to answer.