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07-10-2008, 12:46 AM #81You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London
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07-10-2008, 11:31 AM #82
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07-10-2008, 10:52 PM #83
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07-11-2008, 03:18 PM #84
I have not PMed on this forum before, but I can assure you that there is a lot of PMing going on. It shocked me too when I first learned. It's mostly going on between the less shy people. And if the shy people are so lucky, a less shy person takes a liking to a shy person and initiates and carries on a PM conversation with them. Also I have experienced exactly what you described in this post about someone having a completely different personality in PM and in public. I didn't respond to that too well either.
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07-11-2008, 03:19 PM #85SnifflesGuest
Well I receieved a PM earlier today. Yeah!
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07-11-2008, 03:33 PM #86
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07-11-2008, 04:58 PM #87
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What is the purpose of PMing, for you guys, is it just to chat or does it eventually evolve into actual substance?
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07-11-2008, 05:46 PM #88
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I would love getting PMs and I have no problem sending them. I can sort of tell by the response how much the person wants to talk, and if they don't seem to enjoy it, I just forget about it and stop bugging them. However, I don't post very often so I don't really know anybody here, and most of what I say is public. So I rarely send messages and people rarely send them to me. I don't blame them. They probably have never heard of me before!
Usually, if somebody initiates conversation with me, I'll enjoy it and equally match any amount of enthusiasm that they have, or I will exceed it. I have no problem talking about one thing consistently and keeping it impersonal, like a private thread, or going into anything else that comes up and happens.
I'm more inclined to enjoy Skype, Vent, or a chatroom, though. Nobody ever goes in the chatroom here! The people I know from this place are the ones I've talked to outside of the forum."When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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07-11-2008, 08:49 PM #89
In the case of the ones I've sent, these are the most common reasons in order of what motivates me to PM someone.
I want to talk to someone about something and it to not be out there for everyone else to read (more emotional or personal stuff - usually because I think the person I'm PMing will be understanding of what I want to talk about with them and want to hear their thoughts on it (without them or I worrying about others seeing it)).
I want to respond to something written in a thread directed specifically at that what that person wrote (generally its off-topic stuff, sometimes if its an old thread and I don't want to resurrect it ask a specific question of one person)
I related to something the poster wrote and I wanted to comment or offer a sympathetic ear (a way of saying your not alone regarding that experience etc) and possibly offer to talk about it more if they want.
I don't see any of those a being "just chat" or small talk, so perhaps I misinterpreted your original use of the word "business" regarding PMs. If by that word you meant conversations about something with some substance, then yes, my use of PMs would be more business and less fluff, but my interpretation of the word was for administrative or mechanical purposes (to arrange some desired outcome). A conversation that started with substance may eventually run out of things to talk about and turn into fluff and chit-chat, but I don't think I've ever started a PM conversation without some specific desired subject matter.
Regarding one of the other previous posts, I do consider myself extremely shy (at least off-line), but I'm fairly comfortable with PMs for the reason I mentioned previously (I see them like little one on one conversations). I probably only send 0 to 3 unsolicited PMs a week (when I'm relatively active here, zero when I'm distracted with other things), and that is probably low compared to less shy people.
Last edited by TenebrousReflection; 07-11-2008 at 08:53 PM. Reason: minor changes and typo fixes
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07-16-2008, 12:19 AM #90
Uber, I think that sometimes rep leads to PM's too. just wanted to mention that to you. At least I've noticed that people ask questions there that you would have to PM them to answer.