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Aspergers vs. Narcissism

S

Society

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as for narcissism, here's some old dried up wood for the fire:
to be fair, both strains of Fe (TP & FJ) can be associated with quite a few narcissistic traits:

from the (N)TP bucket: bravado, grandioseness, opportunistic, superficial charm, swaggering, and a large arsenal of exploitative & manipulative behaviors.

from the (N)FJ bucket: narcissistic rage & injury, intolerance of criticism, magical thinking, withdrawal, splitting, mortification, self-righteousness, and various self-perceived forms of perfectionism and superiority.

i added the (N) because both appear a bit more frequently with the intuitive variety of each (But not even close to exclusively).

edit: is quoting yourself a narcissistic trait? :p
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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I should clarify that I think Asperger's exists (and I can personally attest to the fact that ADHD exists), I just think that a lot of people who don't really understand it and have no psychological training like to use it as a way to "explain" people they don't understand. That's annoying and doesn't do anyone any good.
 
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I should clarify that I think Asperger's exists (and I can personally attest to the fact that ADHD exists), I just think that a lot of people who don't really understand it and have no psychological training like to use it as a way to "explain" people they don't understand. That's annoying and doesn't do anyone any good.

you mean like using aspergers to explain inferior-Fe behavior ;)
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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you mean like using aspergers to explain inferior-Fe behavior ;)

A large chunk of it appears to indeed be using it to explain a very strong preference for Ti over Fe (and of course, Fi, too), coupled with bursts of Ne weirdness.
 

Lark

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God imagine if you could put disorders in a deathmatch style ring and see which would win? That'd have made a great claymation.
 

Z Buck McFate

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Aspies seem like they're oblivious, and narcissists seem like they don't care. That's what I think the difference is.

My experience of Asperger's isn't much- outside of relating to many of the descriptions myself, I don't think I've ever actually known someone with it. But yeah, from what I've read, it seems like they're almost oblivious to how to get social approval- not oblivious to the pain of being ostracized, but oblivious about how to get approval in the first place. Whereas narcissists are rather adept at it (at least, initially) and can be very charismatic because they need copious amounts of external approval (admiration from sources outside themselves) to compensate for an impoverished inner sense of worth. It's too painful to look at that directly, so they constantly seek affirmation from the outside to avoid that pain.

Narcissists usually have delusions of grandeur (as marm already mentioned)- whether it's about their appearance, intelligence, whatever. They are extraordinarily manipulative (they have to be, to get as much approval as they need while not actually caring about others), and they have a need to belittle others to inflate their own ego.

The guy I knew (who I'm pretty sure qualifies for NPD) had the creepiest instinct for where he could get away with putting people down/making them feel bad about themselves (these are the people who might not even realize he was doing it to inflate his own ego, who would believe whatever negative 'feedback' he gave- and therefore would not get angry or cause him trouble.....they'd just slink off to the side feeling bad about themselves) vs. knowing who would either recognize it for what it was and call him on it (possibly in front of others- scary prospect) or was too 'important' (it's a priority to be most liked by the most influential people- so he knew to show his most 'benevolent' face to them). He knew how to fake remorse, and *when* to fake remorse, in order to keep social standing....which I think is something an Aspie doesn't begin to know?

Also, I was just reading through a book by woman with Asperger's (Lianne Holliday Willey)- the whole first chapter was about coping with falling prey to people easily, being naive and easily exploited. I can't imagine narcissists having that problem.
 

highlander

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It seems like a number of posters have had experience dealing with both issues, so I thought it would be interesting to have a thread that compared the similarities and the contrasts. One poster mentioned knowing someone with both conditions and that is what got me thinking, since I have dealt with both in life. I think there can be a lack of empathy in both ways of cognitive processing, but one is the result of hyper-focus and the other is an attachment disorder in which the concept of Self and Other has been distorted. Anyway, we'll see if an interesting discussion results...

The narcissist will be much more charming when you first meet them. You might be quite impressed with them at first. They are less likely to seem odd. You discover this negative side as time progresses. The aspie will come across more strange, oblivious to social queues, and highly focused on some particular area of interest that they have. Those perceptions you have become more ingrained as time goes on. It's not like you change your view of them. It just gets more solidified.
 

Lark

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That looks really cool, what is that? Its got seventh of nine in it as that lady and I recognise some of the names as characters from the mortal combat games but I saw the mortal combat films and they are awful, not like this and with a more mystical premise, each film ending with the beginning of the next too.
 
S

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That looks really cool, what is that? Its got seventh of nine in it as that lady and I recognise some of the names as characters from the mortal combat games but I saw the mortal combat films and they are awful, not like this and with a more mystical premise, each film ending with the beginning of the next too.

it's the upcoming remake - their doing it from the ground up - and it sort of fits what you suggested: pitting extreme disorders against each other :D
 
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The narcissist will be much more charming when you first meet them. You might be quite impressed with them at first. They are less likely to seem odd. You discover this negative side as time progresses.

while i am still not entirely convinced that my ex-wife is NPD, this would pretty much describe my experience with her.
 

Lark

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it's the upcoming remake - their doing it from the ground up - and it sort of fits what you suggested: pitting extreme disorders against each other :D

It actually looks like a good idea you know, I like what they've done, the other films had become a bit of a random late night filler material.
 
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It actually looks like a good idea you know, I like what they've done, the other films had become a bit of a random late night filler material.

it's interesting. the original mortal combat movie was sort of a high point on the "visual effects for visual effect sake" trend, when you could sell movie tickets on experimental stylistic endeavor alone. now that advanced visual effects are taken for granted, they are trying to take old franchises and give them deeper more meaningful exploration of notions. you saw that a bit with x-men (where the political questions actually examined both sides), then on a more individualistic level with the new batman trilogy (where they attempt at convincing you that batman is bloody schizophrenic), a touch of it in the recent restart of the spider man franchise, and now mortal combat is pretty much taking it to extreme while dumping 99% of the original content.

i suppose you could say that the visual effects trend was more in tune with aspergers, while the psychological exploration trend is more in tune with narcissism.

(and yes, that's pretty much as loose as i can tie this to the OP... we've taken this way way off topic..)
 

Lark

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it's interesting. the original mortal combat movie was sort of a high point on the "visual effects for visual effect sake" trend, when you could sell movie tickets on experimental stylistic endeavor alone. now that advanced visual effects are taken for granted, they are trying to take old franchises and give them deeper more meaningful exploration of notions. you saw that a bit with x-men (where the political questions actually examined both sides), then on a more individualistic level with the new batman trilogy (where they attempt at convincing you that batman is bloody schizophrenic), a touch of it in the recent restart of the spider man franchise, and now mortal combat is pretty much taking it to extreme while dumping 99% of the original content.

i suppose you could say that the visual effects trend was more in tune with aspergers, while the psychological exploration trend is more in tune with narcissism.

(and yes, that's pretty much as loose as i can tie this to the OP... we've taken this way way off topic..)

I think that a lot of the trend in remakes of super hero films has been to portray the characters as "human, all too human" if you know what I mean, ie extraordinary abilities does not mean extraordinary character or personalities or moral integrity, its perhaps cliche to say so but it is post-Watchmen and all, I think that the trashing of Batman has gone way, way, way too far but I'm a batman fan, so.

This remake doesnt seem to do that at all, there is an element perhaps of killing off the more mundane or realistic characters, Cage for instance, and keeping the more monsterous but the whole criminal underworld thing is intriguing, perhaps a better lead into the tournament idea than the previous outing, the very first mortal kombat movie felt almost like a retelling of Bruce Lee's Enter The Dragon, although it would be fair to say that it probably inspired some of Mortal Kombat's backdrops etc.

I was thinking more in terms of the claymation TV series celebrity deathmatch though, I cant recall any now apart from an episode which had the character "wee man" from jackass on it, I think perhaps battling eminem or justin beber? I dont know, I loved that series though. It'd be cool to see all the various disorders duking it out and prevailing or failing on the basis of which they were matched with, imagine ADHD vs. OCD for instance :laugh:
 

Chiharu

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IMHO, the problem in some cases is that people forget that being a jerk (or at least having unpleasant aspects of your personality) and having Asperger's or autism or a physical disability are not mutually exclusive. There was one kid in my class who most definitely has Asperger's, but just in general was a very unpleasant person (as were his sister, mother, and father, who did not have Asperger's). We are slowly learning not to discriminate and we've come a long way from just thinking that people with Asperger's are weird, but they're people like everyone else. You can be autistic and a jerk. You can be in a wheelchair and be a jerk. You can have cancer and be a jerk. They're just people, for better or worse.
 

tinker683

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I know someone who probably is a rather mild case of NPD (I really don't think he's severe because he seems to WANT to connect) as a result of an emotionally and psychologically abusive mother who probably is Borderline.

He asked me once if I thought he had Asperger's. Food for thought.

However, bipolar also runs in his family so what if it is mild Asperger's? "I really feel nothing. I stop emoting. Then I regret it." It has all the features of narcissism (or histrionic) with the over-emphasis on appearance of self and appearance of partners and delusions of sophistication, success, and wealth. A little too strongly desiring external perfection to validate self.

I've read academic articles that state a lot of people with Asperger's/autism spectrum actually have bipolar spectrum running in their family.

Aspies seem like they're oblivious, and narcissists seem like they don't care. That's what I think the difference is.


And would it be impossible for someone to have traits of both? I don't think so, especially if the Asperger's were mild enough.

My niece has Asperger's syndrome, diagnosed and in therapy, but she's too young for me to give much anecdotal evidence about her, other than her developmental behavior.

P.S. I love the person I'm talking about, I'm not talking shit, and I have cyclothymia myself, I'm on the bipolar spectrum, so I'm not mocking him...I am just absolutely baffled by him (ofc never seen a therapist, usually totally baffling people won't) and he is one of the first people who made me realize that Aspies and narcissists may have something in common, but he's not the only one.

The narcissist will be much more charming when you first meet them. You might be quite impressed with them at first. They are less likely to seem odd. You discover this negative side as time progresses. The aspie will come across more strange, oblivious to social queues, and highly focused on some particular area of interest that they have. Those perceptions you have become more ingrained as time goes on. It's not like you change your view of them. It just gets more solidified.

IMHO, the problem in some cases is that people forget that being a jerk (or at least having unpleasant aspects of your personality) and having Asperger's or autism or a physical disability are not mutually exclusive. There was one kid in my class who most definitely has Asperger's, but just in general was a very unpleasant person (as were his sister, mother, and father, who did not have Asperger's). We are slowly learning not to discriminate and we've come a long way from just thinking that people with Asperger's are weird, but they're people like everyone else. You can be autistic and a jerk. You can be in a wheelchair and be a jerk. You can have cancer and be a jerk. They're just people, for better or worse.

Agreed on everything, especially the bolded parts.

My grandfather had bipolar disorder, so I too am curious if there is a link between a family member having bipolar disorder and another having aspergers.

As for me though, it's as all of you have said: I can appear emotionless, expressionless, or every careless but it isn't because I don't care but rather because it's like my brain wallpapers over a lot of social queues and it's not until someone points it out that I notice and than usually then I feel incredibly awkward/embarrassed/guilty about what happened. This aspect of my disorder has been a constant source of difficulty in my interpersonal relationships with friends, family, and lovers.

I've been very observant of people though and I've managed to do a pretty good job of 'hiding' my disorder but what people don't realize is that I'm seldomly acting naturally but rather I'm adhering to a rigid 'script' in my head as to how to behave around people least they find me weird/uncomfortable/awkward to be around. I go to such lengths because I don't want to feel rejected/alientated/or disliked. I want to feel accepted.

It's not until I actually get to know a group of people and they get to know me that I start 'letting my hair down' as it were and they start to see my quirks. By that time, they usually don't mind. My ENFJ-ex found them endearing.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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Lark

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In the actual real world it looks like narcissism wins, probably by weight of numbers, its also probably pretty adaptive, especially if you're a teaparty fuckwit or something like that.

Though tea party isnt the only group of people who figure that the world should be in step with their way of doing things.
 

lowtech redneck

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I think the operational definition of 'empathy' should be established: Aspergers syndrome includes a deficit of cognitive empathy (i.e. the ability to recognize what others are feeling), not a deficit of emotional or affective empathy (i.e. the capacity to 'empathize' with others). In other words, we are not even remotely similar to narcissists (though a person could have both disorders).
 

prplchknz

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I think the operational definition of 'empathy' should be established: Aspergers syndrome includes a deficit of cognitive empathy (i.e. the ability to recognize what others are feeling), not a deficit of emotional or affective empathy (i.e. the capacity to 'empathize' with others). In other words, we are not even remotely similar to narcissists (though a person could have both disorders).

Yeah I've only known aspies, but people who are supposdly narcissists, i don't mistake for having aspergers I actually get along better with people who have aspergers in real life than i do with quote unquote normal people. and I mean the people who I'm refering to have a diagnosis from a doctor.

but I also get along better with smart people,creative people,gay men in general than the so called average schmo. so the above isn't saying much. I guess get along with people who are offbeat.
 
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