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  1. #1
    Senior Member Lark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default There is praiseworthy and praiseworthy?

    I'm listening to this on audiobook at the moment, I have a hard copy too and its interesting, what do you think about what is praiseworthy and giving praise?

    I know that I've encountered this in my work, when someone will tell me "I've been good" and then describe how they have refrained from verbal abuse, aggression or even violence for the morning, then I'll have to tell them that they have been "normal" or much like anyone else rather than especially "good", and its been much harder to deal with it when its in terms of academic performance, I find it harder to gauge what is praiseworthy because sometimes what is being undertaken is straight forward enough but if its, for instance maths, outside of my ability it will appear great when its just average.

    The argument in this book/audiobook is about prescence, the quality of attention from an adult, is what counts and not praise and that habituating children to praise rather than prescence will have all sorts of negative and unintended consequences. They will not be motivated to create a second or different picture if they have reached perfection or greatness with the one they already did, they will be more concerned about failure if they have been accustomed to success, they can become complacent or arrogant about work, if you're already accomplished why bother?

    Does any of this ring true? I'll be honest that I dont really think that Ireland at the time I was growing up, not the seventies like mentioned in the book, wasnt really a society in which praise was taboo but it wasnt actively used either, a lot of my report cards were not very praiseworthy but the feedback which was positive mattered to me at the time and motivated me too, its still pretty much the case, what's your own view?
    All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
    Chapter IV, p. 448. - Adam Smith, Book 3, The Wealth of Nations

    whether or not you credit psychoanalysis itself, the fact remains that we all must, to the greatest extent possible, understand one another's minds as our own; the very survival of humanity has always depended on it. - Open Culture

  2. #2
    Driving to Wewelsburg Typh0n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013


    Hard to say. I think giving praise does sometimes give you the impression that you cant do better, or that its not necesarry to try harder, but at the same time without praise we aerent motivated. For instance my piano teacher despite being strict often tells me Im not doing bad, and he said it often with respect to my work, which gave me the impression I may have been progessing more then I was. Last time I saw him, however, he told me that while he didnt want to discourage me, he felt that I want making enough progress. We also determined that I wasnt rehearsing enough, so maybe that was the problem. I dont know, its not good to not progress, but without any praise how can you know you're doing good? Seems like its best to just be sincere and honest; ie if a student does good, then tell them, if they start doing bad then tell them as well and theyll make up for it etc. Its best to not be overly calculating, to just handle the problem as it comes.

  3. #3
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    6w5 sp/sx


    I have heard that praising efforts and improvement is more effective than praising achievement/results.

    It can sound a little hippy-ish and lame, but I can see that there is some truth to it, as well. The idea is that someone who is praised for achievements will become more afraid of failure, which can make them more reluctant to try things in the first place. Of course, you would still want to encourage people to rise to their potential, rather than encouraging half-hearted efforts in everything.
    -end of thread-

  4. #4


    These camps are wonderful for the refresh minds if someone if depressed this is the place for them.

  5. #5
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008


    Having my parents kiss my ass so much fucked me up. I really thought I was the next Einstein or something. I think it made me an arrogant slacker and, like, ruined my life and stuff. You know how it is.

  6. #6


    sometimes things not happen according to you !

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