How do you feel about eccentricity?

[Lexicon]

Sometimes I think its sad because they usually appear to be care free for a while but one way or another they are exhausted, then some patterns or hard core conformity follow which is disappointing.

I think that peoples insecurity or attachment needs find them out or catch up with them in the end.

Fortunately, for some people, the cost of satisfying those needs at the compromise of their core sense of self is too high. I've seen what you've described, sadly often- a little light goes out - usually when they find they can't pursue something related to their fundamental little quirks, etc.. and they surrender to perceived expectations of others, glaze over, & try to convince themselves they're happy/fulfilled. But, fortunately-as I said- I've also seen people find success and happiness in not backing down, even when others may question it, or attachments they thought were necessary to validate something within them were at stake. The people in your life who truly matter will accept you for who you are, regardless of whether or not it's fully understood on every possible level. But ey, I'm just an idealist talking, here.

 

[Nicki]

I hate it when people try to be eccentric to be this nonconformist. It's really irritating IMO. If people are eccentric to the point of creepy, it makes me feel uncomfortable. For example, when I was in middle school, there was this guy who never took showers or brushed his teeth because he thought germs were cool. I didn't appreciate that kind of eccentricity. But if you're talking Luna Lovegood-eccentric, then I would be totally fine as I'm fairly eccentric myself.

 

[1487610420]

I hate it when people try to be eccentric to be this nonconformist. It's really irritating IMO. If people are eccentric to the point of creepy, it makes me feel uncomfortable. For example, when I was in middle school, there was this guy who never took showers or brushed his teeth because he thought germs were cool. I didn't appreciate that kind of eccentricity. But if you're talking Luna Lovegood-eccentric, then I would be totally fine as I'm fairly eccentric myself.

lack of hygiene -1st world and assuming intended - isn't being eccentric, it's called being a filthy motherfucker.

 

[Viridian]

I'm not much of a vibrant eccentric, but I do respect the gadflies. They're happy being themselves.

In-your-face oddball behavior can be tiring, though, although that applies to extroversion in general for me.

 

[sprinkles]

Oh so eccentric is just wearing funny earrings or listening to people through an earhorn eh?

How damn irrelevant is that?

Eccentricity is rebellion, not retardation.

 

[UniqueMixture]

I like einstein weird hair eccentricity not carrot top weird hair eccentricity

 

[sprinkles]

This is also personal to me because people are cruel for no good reason which is why some adopt the attitude of totally not giving a fuck.

When I was young I had a verbal tick where the last word in my sentences would be really looooooong. I got made fun of for that until I stopped talking. Then I got made fun of for being silent.

I was often miserable and excluded when I was little. By being miserable and excluded I didn't get to learn what the social norms were, which meant that I continued to be different which made me more excluded.

People who judge and hurt others can piss off.

 

[1487610420]

This is also personal to me because people are cruel for no good reason which is why some adopt the attitude of totally not giving a fuck.

When I was young I had a verbal tick where the last word in my sentences would be really looooooong. I got made fun of for that until I stopped talking. Then I got made fun of for being silent.

I was often miserable and excluded when I was little. By being miserable and excluded I didn't get to learn what the social norms were, which meant that I continued to be different which made me more excluded.

People who judge and hurt others can piss off.

No sure that's what you mean, but I think the not giving a fuck about others as an excuse for being cruel/bullying is a byproduct of a convoluted fubar self and unrelated to eccentricity.

ETA: examples like einstein are what I'd fit into neutral/true eccentricity and harmless/without smoke&mirror fubarness, which I'm fine with, as an expression of self.

 

[sprinkles]

No sure that's what you mean, but I think the not giving a fuck about others as an excuse for being cruel/bullying is a byproduct of a convoluted fubar self and unrelated to eccentricity.

Bullies do give a fuck or they wouldn't bully. Whether it's exerting dominance or enforcing peer norms, one has to be up in people's business.

When somebody bullies you it's because they do give a fuck. Otherwise they'd be able to leave you alone. Or even accept you, heaven forbid.

 

[sprinkles]

ETA: examples like einstein are what I'd fit into neutral/true eccentricity and harmless/without smoke&mirror fubarness, which I'm fine with, as an expression of self.

Eccentricity by definition is benign. It has nothing to do with crazy because it is always harmless.

I'd dare to say that people who maintain it for long periods without some kind of feeling about it are either lucky that they didn't catch a lot of shit for it, or are simply oblivious.

Most people are not oblivious to what others expect of them, though. So typically if the behavior continues, there is a degree of "not caring what you think" involved in it.

 

[1487610420]

Bullies do give a fuck or they wouldn't bully. Whether it's exerting dominance or enforcing peer norms, one has to be up in people's business.

When somebody bullies you it's because they do give a fuck. Otherwise they'd be able to leave you alone. Or even accept you, heaven forbid.

Yep, those are good points.

Eccentricity by definition is benign. It has nothing to do with crazy because it is always harmless.

I'd dare to say that people who maintain it for long periods without some kind of feeling about it are either lucky that they didn't catch a lot of shit for it, or are simply oblivious.

Most people are not oblivious to what others expect of them, though. So typically if the behavior continues, there is a degree of "not caring what you think" involved in it.

Yes it is, however, not all examples referenced in this thread fall into that category.

 

[sprinkles]

Yes it is, however, not all examples referenced in this thread fall into that category.

True. And in the technical sense, anything not usual is eccentric, when speaking of planetary orbits and math and all that. But in humans eccentric behavior is typically harmless behavior.

So a psycho killer would count as eccentric by the technical definition, but definitely not by the social one.

Whether or not eccentricity can be intentional is arguable I'd say, but I wouldn't go so far as to define it by what one finds as appealing or attention seeking because it is very easy to be mistaken there.

 

[Mole]

Conformists really do hate eccentrics.

Most of us conform to our job, our family or our friends, but then we moralise our conformity, so anyone eccentric is not moral.

We internalise our conformity so we see conformity is good for us and eccentricity is bad for us.

Then we externalise our belief eccentricity is bad for us onto others, and go from saying eccentricity is bad for them to saying they are bad for being eccentric.

But in fact conformity is based on bad faith and moral cowadice.

We saw this is in the holocaust when the only ones to help the Jews were eccentrics.

 

[sprinkles]

Conformists really do hate eccentrics.

Most of us conform to our job, our family or our friends, but then we moralise our conformity, so anyone eccentric is not moral.

We internalise our conformity so we see conformity is good for us and eccentricity is bad for us.

Then we externalise our belief eccentricity is bad for us onto others, and go from saying eccentricity is bad for them to saying they are bad for being eccentric.

But in fact conformity is based on bad faith and moral cowadice.

We saw this is in the holocaust when the only ones to help the Jews were eccentrics.

Yes. Normal can be bad some times.

It's also interesting to examine what's being called eccentric by contrast.

What's considered eccentric by contrast shows exactly how stringent and petty many 'norms' are. I mean hair styles? Seriously? I don't see how hair should be so relevant that the concept even forms itself to begin with.

Eccentric is not even in my normal vocabulary. If it weren't for the contrast of typical norms, and people actually talking about it, I wouldn't even see it. I typically don't see it. I've never thought of Einstein as having eccentric hair for example - I just know that other people do because they have said as much.

 

[1487610420]

Yes. Normal can be bad some times.

It's also interesting to examine what's being called eccentric by contrast.

What's considered eccentric by contrast shows exactly how stringent and petty many 'norms' are. I mean hair styles? Seriously? I don't see how hair should be so relevant that the concept even forms itself to begin with.

Eccentric is not even in my normal vocabulary. If it weren't for the contrast of typical norms, and people actually talking about it, I wouldn't even see it. I typically don't see it. I've never thought of Einstein as having eccentric hair for example - I just know that other people do because they have said as much.

If you're anything like me, you'll notice it when it's toxic, as that's when it stands out to me, e.g. like [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] said, when it starts interfering with my environment I cease to see it as being harmless and being neutral about it.

 

[sprinkles]

If you're anything like me, you'll notice it when it's toxic, as that's when it stands out to me, e.g. like [MENTION=4050]ceecee[/MENTION] said, when it starts interfering with my environment I cease to see it as being harmless and being neutral about it.

That's the summary of conformity and hinges around your sense of what 'interfering' is, which is entirely relative and up to you.

The question then is what counts as interference, and is it individual, or social? I mean, what can anyone do that doesn't annoy somebody?

Edit: this also doesn't seem to explain why some people apparently go out of their way to have a problem with something. Like going to somebody else's house and being bothered by their habits - who's interfering with who's environment?

 

[1487610420]

That's the summary of conformity and hinges around your sense of what 'interfering' is, which is entirely relative and up to you.

The question then is what counts as interference, and is it individual, or social? I mean, what can anyone do that doesn't annoy somebody?

I don't care about being pleased any more than I care about being harassed to accommodate for what someone else believes to be their freedom of expression. If it was only just that, then I'd have no problem with it. But chances are that if I dom then a line has been crossed. One's freedom only extends as far as where someone else's begins. The example of the obnoxious FJ getting into one's private space comes to mind. Go ahead and try to tell me how benign that eccentricity is.

 

[Stanton Moore]

I adore 'eccentricity' and those who refuse to conform. I collect them as friends, partially because I am one of them.

 

[sprinkles]

I don't care about being pleased any more than I care about being harassed to accommodate for what someone else believes to be their freedom of expression. If it was only just that, then I'd have no problem with it. But chances are that if I dom then a line has been crossed. One's freedom only extends as far as where someone else's begins. The example of the obnoxious FJ getting into one's private space comes to mind. Go ahead and try to tell me how benign that eccentricity is.

Well it is only just that. If that line is crossed then it becomes something else. You have to clarify what you mean, though. This is important.

I wouldn't call any kind of invasion an eccentricity. (with 'invasion' meaning something other than "being different and in the same room")

 

[miss fortune]

to quote [MENTION=195]Jaguar[/MENTION]- who gives a fuck?

though if you're just doing it for attention, you're pretty fucking pathetic