Am I A Narcissist?

[Lark]

Technically yes, legally no (I'm 18).

I guess that makes sense. I don't think I'm a narcissist as much anymore as I did when I made this thread (in January), and even then I thought I might be a narcissist, though I wasn't sure. However, I still identify a lot with the description in that link in my first post.

The thing is though, my "grandiose fantasies" are often of things that I would never be able to achieve. I'm able to recognize this though, and never think I'll actually be able to do it (a few years ago, this was not the case). Now I mainly just use the grandiose fantasies as a way to relieve stress, or even give me motivation for things I actually can do (for example, when I was younger, I used to say that I wanted to conquer the world - and actually had serious aspirations to do so eventually - but now I've decided to some day write a book series where the plot is world domination - as in, the heroes are the ones conquering the world; please note that I don't think world domination is a good thing anymore, just that it would make for an interesting book series).

Its a pretty basic trait to make plans, possess hopes and dreams, even fantasise without it amounting to narcissism, its simply a good exercise in imagination and that's alright, in fact its discouraged in myriad ways but I think its alright and dont see how any sort of art or creative production is possible without it. The best cinema and animation and even writing is coming from parts of the world were it still exists and thrives.

I read a book or two by a guy called McCaby (spelling) about leaders and leadership which suggested that all leaders are narcissistic and sought to distinguish between positive and negative narcissism once.

 

[FireShield98]

The best writing I've read on this topic suggest that narcissists are highly deluded individuals with very, very poor self concepts, who deploy a phony larger than life and demanding self concept to cover, if any of their audience or others they are attached to get close to suspecting or knowing the truth and they feel they have a crisis occurs involving the reassertiong of the "uber self lie" and if the other tolerates and affirms it a kind of positive reassurance is provided that the lie is reality.

Although its likely to be a problem later in life and correspond to terrible beginnings in life, basic anxiety/attachment trauma early in life and then repeated throughout life without intervention or any other reparative remedy.

I think a far more cognent question to ask, one everyone could ask, is are you selfish? If you are is it in a really unhealthy as opposed to enlightened self interest way?

As for the first paragraph, when I'm with my friends I'm like that (pretending I'm more than I actually am) but it's more of just an act, and they know it's an act and that I'm not really narcissistic like that. Around most people though, I'm extremely humble and often feel like people who give me compliments are doing it out of pity for me rather than being sincere (as described in that link).

Yeah, I'm selfish in the "enlightened self interest way." I consider myself to be pretty fair in my interactions with people - I do as much as I think I should do, and I only ask of people as much of them as I think they should do. If I'm in a good mood, I'll do more than my part, and don't expect anything in return (similarly, if someone else does more than their part, I don't feel obligated to do extra for them). I am never selfish at the expense of others though.

 

[Stephano]

The guy in the video is a psychopath and genius. I once saw a documentary about him. He often mentioned that he has a narcissistic personality, so he's mostly talking about himself. I don't know if those traits are necessarily narcissistic.

 

[Lark]

As for the first paragraph, when I'm with my friends I'm like that (pretending I'm more than I actually am) but it's more of just an act, and they know it's an act and that I'm not really narcissistic like that. Around most people though, I'm extremely humble and often feel like people who give me compliments are doing it out of pity for me rather than being sincere (as described in that link).

Yeah, I'm selfish in the "enlightened self interest way." I consider myself to be pretty fair in my interactions with people - I do as much as I think I should do, and I only ask of people as much of them as I think they should do. If I'm in a good mood, I'll do more than my part, and don't expect anything in return (similarly, if someone else does more than their part, I don't feel obligated to do extra for them). I am never selfish at the expense of others though.

The presentation of self in social settings is best described I think by the guy who wrote the book about Asylums, what's his name? I'll look it up, but anyway, he talks about people having personas for particular settings, problems arise when you cant maintain the seperateness, for instance if someone you know personally is suddenly meeting you in a professional or work capacity and wants to kid around because personally you're a kidder but professionally you're not.

The boastful and the "pitiful" personas are two which I'd associate with teenage years, I'd done that myself and I'd seen others do it, the hard luck stories or crisis stories or stories of woe were all ways that people would social network but there is a point usually in all relationships when people dont use that so much or realise that can lead to being quite a drain upon people and falling into the trap of being the fixer for others or supporting them repeatedly if they are stuck in that sort of mode of being is another thing which happens in the teenage years, even early twenties, although in the twenties I think its worse because people can create some true and damaging drama at that point.

The enlightened self interest thing has been around forever in some narratives but I the best I've read have been in response to neurotics who see any thinking or behaviour which is self interested as being selfish in the malign sense who're prey for really selfish or narcissistic sorts.

Although there's been some really bad examples of that writing too, like a couple of Ayn Rand's disciples who constructed a sort of dichotomy between the selfish and self serving and the neurotic and self-sacrificing.

 

[Mole]

So I might have a narcissistic personality without having NPD?

Yes, and pray you have the personality and not the disorder.

 

[INTP]

I guess. It's more of my grandiose, self-centered fantasies that made me originally think I was a narcissist.

Its just typical young INTJ, dont worry.

 

[Azure Flame]

Are we assuming narcissism is a clinical ailment? or are we just continuing the trend of slapping this word onto anyone and anything that doesn't hate itself?

-personal crusade against sloppy vernacular-

 

[Mole]

Are we assuming narcissism is a clinical ailment? or are we just continuing the trend of slapping this word onto anyone and anything that doesn't hate itself?

-personal crusade against sloppy vernacular-

Continuing the crusade:

Narcisism is commonly thought to mean self love, when it actually means self hatred.