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Thread: Remorse

  1. #21
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Jun 2008


    Analyzing/scrutinizing yourself and other people becomes a great deal easier in the light that we all do the best we can with the wisdom and knowledge we have at the time. However, the problem occurs when the growth that should result from negative experiences and mistakes does not materialize. Sure, that can be the cause of great distress....

    For me, the problem arises when my intellectual understanding of those factors don't jive with how I am feeling. In other words, I cognitively realize that remorse is actually counter-productive, and a bit of distance will help me learn from the experience. But when you are neck-deep in the situation, it is hard to gain the necessary distance.

    Sometimes it just takes time and experience. I think I will spend my whole life growing in that regard....

  2. #22


    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    With hindsight, I can see I have treated a lover badly, but I can also see that at the time I didn't know what I was doing.

    And I expect that often today I don't know what I am doing, so I may treat others badly.

    And also I can see others often don't know what they are doing, and so treat me badly.

    It's an interesting situation where we don't know what we are doing.
    This is basically it. Not very many people know what they're doing. But it's ok. It's hard to learn to make a space for yourself, but when you learn to do that, others often make space for you.

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