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Dissociative Disorder

UniqueMixture

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People who develop DID (the sybil variety) and DDNOS do so to protect themselves from severe chronic trauma, usually of a sexual nature. It must occur before the age of 7 or so or else it seems that the mind is after that unable to 'split'. They also are usually of above average intelligence. The resulting 'mental disorder' protects their inner, unprocessed feelings because they occurred at a time when the person was too young to make sense of them and process them adequately, or because they were simply unallowed or had no time to do so. Most of us cannot fathom the kind of trauma it involves to get here (watch sybil and see what I mean), so it is not hard to imagine a toddler, baby, or young child not being able to process it.

So, the emotions that would result from the sequestered feelings are stopped, because the feelings are stopped because they are locked away in compartments as [MENTION=16071]sprinkles[/MENTION] described so well. Consequently, what these people are most at risk of are what I would call asocial disorders...things that protect them from getting close to others because they are afraid of enduring further trauma. They live more in a state of stagnation or withdrawal from life because life has always hurt. In doing this, they live on autopilot and are stuck in survival mode always, and most deal with PTSD on a daily basis (because PTSD triggers unconscious arousal) they are protected from the feelings that are buried in their mind and body (lots of 'bad' body memories, probably more so than mind memories like most people have, or can even understand), and are therefore protected from the emotions resulting from that. Everything is sublimated to survival. However, it's been said that they have huge amounts of buried rage.

Those with antisocial disorder are more conscious of having been hurt and are more consciously angry about it, but don't know how to deal with it, so they learn dysfunctional coping mechanisms that to us seem irrational, but to them make sense, usually aimed at unfair targets/society in general. They must get a sense of relief--because they constantly are dealing with the emotions but don't know how to release them--when they project them or take them out on others. They have also been traumatized chronically from a very young age, but instead of compartmentalizing feelings that are impossible to make sense of, like in DID and DDNOS, etc., they are forced to deal with them. They then can become so desensitized to pain that, in this process, they also do not adequately develop their empathy for others, which makes all the difference. Empathy for others, in the absence of love and in the presence of pain, develops one's conscience. Therefore, they lack a healthy conscience. That is why it is hard to treat them because you would have to go back, I'd guess with intensive and persistent regression therapy, including hypnosis (I'm not usually an advocate of hypnosis but I think in this case it would be necessary), to awaken or retrieve the infantile feelings of empathy, and bring them to life again.

So people with DID, DDNOS, etc., usually just are at risk of hurting themselves because they become so fatigued fighting to protect themselves and their pysches, in addition to living a dead life, that they have high rates of suicide. Those with antisocial disorder are more at risk for harming others, in various schemes, or homicidally (from your con-artists to your mass murderers). Those with antisocial disorder usually do not have DID or DDNOS because if they had, they might not have become antisocial....Though those with DID and DDNOS, etc., can have some characteristics of antisocial disorder, they have largely been protected from the thrust of it, and struggle more with asocial disorders. Because buried deep in their core are all those unexplored and protected feelings waiting to be opened up.



Thanks so much Sprinkles for your input. I'm fascinated by multiple personality disorder. Please feel free to criticize my post and I will correct as needed. :hug:

Perhaps you are misdiagnosing your friend. Have you considered asking them about their history?
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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I have a friend with dissociative disorder. I'm not even sure they are my friend, but I am their friend. Sometimes it's wonderful and sometimes it's highly frustrating dealing with this friend.

It seems we play this game of getting closer, then they push away, really hard!, and it's tough. This has happened often enough it feels like it must be some sort of reactive attachment disorder playing out, but it's still hard.

I am human and loving, and I want to have this person in my life, but I'm not sure they want me in their life?

Just wanted to share. I love this person very much and would love knowing all about their personalities, but when they hurt me, it is really, really hard.

They probably don't know if they want you in their life either. On the one hand, you provide comfort; on the other, anxiety.
 

Magic Poriferan

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Shouldn't dissociative disorders and anti-social personality disorder have essentially nothing to do with each other at all?
 

sprinkles

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Shouldn't dissociative disorders and anti-social personality disorder have essentially nothing to do with each other at all?
That's correct.

Some times there's overlap in symptoms, especially in stuff like Complex PTSD. Some people might turn to self harm, substance abuse, etc - but these things are symptomatic and not arising from the core issue. Different people handle it differently.
 

sprinkles

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Thanks so much Sprinkles for your input. I'm fascinated by multiple personality disorder. Please feel free to criticize my post and I will correct as needed. :hug:

Thanks. :D

Also I wouldn't say that people with DID necessarily have to live a dead life.

Some people get stuck that way. And it might look that way from the outside when they push you away to be 'safe' (which always sucks of course)

From talking to other people with dissociative identities, I think the ones that acknowledge their identities and tend to their needs are usually more successful. Acceptance is a big part of working it out, since cooperation is actually needed with the different parts. I've met people that have jobs and a social life but are still just careful of their friends.

It can be tough to work out because parts can play different archetypal roles.

Some just hold the memories, or are kind of stuck in one time in life, and they might not age or age more slowly than the body. They might still be children and have to be handled with care.

Other parts are gatekeepers or protectors. These are the tough fighting parts, the survivors. They are the ones that might cuss you out.

Then there's what I like to call face parts, the ones that typically interact with the world, and often try to keep some appearance of cohesiveness and sanity for those who do not know what is going on inside.

Some times there may be one or more cores or coordinators that are co conscious and may have some ability to control or negotiate with others. But not all parts are necessarily co conscious with each other - one part can be aware of other parts and have their memories but it might not work in reverse, kind of like a one way mirror.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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Perhaps you are misdiagnosing your friend. Have you considered asking them about their history?

I have tried. What I have pieced together has taken years now, with mostly indirect communication, either because of severe asocial needs with a 'new' person (me), or because they just are not that interested in letting me in.

They probably don't know if they want you in their life either. On the one hand, you provide comfort; on the other, anxiety.

Yeah, but they've let me know enough to figure all this out. I'm not sure what the motivation behind that is, and it could likely be multivarious, but I give them the benefit of the doubt that they want me to know them intimately.

Thanks. :D

Also I wouldn't say that people with DID necessarily have to live a dead life.

Some people get stuck that way. And it might look that way from the outside when they push you away to be 'safe' (which always sucks of course)

From talking to other people with dissociative identities, I think the ones that acknowledge their identities and tend to their needs are usually more successful. Acceptance is a big part of working it out, since cooperation is actually needed with the different parts. I've met people that have jobs and a social life but are still just careful of their friends.

It can be tough to work out because parts can play different archetypal roles.

Some just hold the memories, or are kind of stuck in one time in life, and they might not age or age more slowly than the body. They might still be children and have to be handled with care.

Other parts are gatekeepers or protectors. These are the tough fighting parts, the survivors. They are the ones that might cuss you out.

Then there's what I like to call face parts, the ones that typically interact with the world, and often try to keep some appearance of cohesiveness and sanity for those who do not know what is going on inside.

Some times there may be one or more cores or coordinators that are co conscious and may have some ability to control or negotiate with others. But not all parts are necessarily co conscious with each other - one part can be aware of other parts and have their memories but it might not work in reverse, kind of like a one way mirror.


I said that because the videos I've seen usually cite something like that as to why they finally sought therapy or decided to try to integrate, because they were not able to fully live, in some capacity, because otherwise your life is very compartmentalized and it makes it virtually impossible to have healthy relationships. And over time, people tend to switch more which become physically exhausting to the point of illness.

I'm sure you live inasmuch as you can live as different people making up a whole person. But do the parts really equal a whole? Maybe they equal more than a whole in some ways? For whatever reason, most end up desiring to integrate their personalities together as they get older.

I appreciate your knowledge so much. I've pretty much had to grapple on my own with this and figured it all out by indirect, subterfuged communication with my friend. That is a testament to how much they mean to me. I hope they realize that.
 

sprinkles

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I have tried. What I have pieced together has taken years now, with mostly indirect communication, either because of severe asocial needs with a 'new' person (me), or because they just are not that interested in letting me in.



Yeah, but they've let me know enough to figure all this out. I'm not sure what the motivation behind that is, and it could likely be multivarious, but I give them the benefit of the doubt that they want me to know them intimately.




I said that because the videos I've seen usually cite something like that as to why they finally sought therapy or decided to try to integrate, because they were not able to fully live, in some capacity, because otherwise your life is very compartmentalized and it makes it virtually impossible to have healthy relationships. And over time, people tend to switch more which become physically exhausting to the point of illness.

I'm sure you live inasmuch as you can live as different people making up a whole person. But do the parts really equal a whole? Maybe they equal more than a whole in some ways? For whatever reason, most end up desiring to integrate their personalities together as they get older.

I appreciate your knowledge so much. I've pretty much had to grapple on my own with this and figured it all out by indirect, subterfuged communication with my friend. That is a testament to how much they mean to me. I hope they realize that.

Yeah. It can be a shattered whole.

The sum of the parts can also be more than the whole.

Some times you end up with a beautiful gift that you can give to yourself, and yourself appreciates it.

When I'm talking about spiders, that's another part. It's beautiful to see that part love something and be so positive about it. It's actually uplifting and self inspiring. Then I come to embrace that part and consider it myself.

It's a unique, sad, but sometimes beautiful mess.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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Yeah. It can be a shattered whole.

The sum of the parts can also be more than the whole.

Some times you end up with a beautiful gift that you can give to yourself, and yourself appreciates it.

When I'm talking about spiders, that's another part. It's beautiful to see that part love something and be so positive about it. It's actually uplifting and self inspiring. Then I come to embrace that part and consider it myself.

It's a unique, sad, but sometimes beautiful mess.


Yeah.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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Why do you have so many personalities?
 

sprinkles

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Why do you have so many personalities?

Well being DDNOS, I don't really have entirely defined personalities per se. Just kind of general archetypes.

Some people do have entire personalities that name themselves and they are very distinct from each other. I actually had some at one point but they integrated.

As to why... I think there are certain parts that do not want to take on the bad. It's almost like a quarantine. Going to a good place to get away from the bad. But somebody gets left behind with it. Somebody has locked themselves in to fight the monster to protect everyone else.

To keep the good from becoming the bad.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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I want to know everything in detail about that post. Do you mind questions?

Why and when did they integrate? Who were they?

You speak as if the monster is still there, attacking. Is that how it feels to those locked in?

Are you older or more co-conscious than the others? Can you see and know all of them?

What do you think about that book I just posted?


Thank you. :blush: I think this is one of the most beautiful illustrations of how a mind can protect a body. Usually we just think of our mind as passive. But the mind is really working in people who have this. I cannot even bring myself to call it a disorder, though I understand why it is. Because it brings order to dysfunction. Who are we to then say it is 'disorder'?
 

sprinkles

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I want to know everything in detail about that post. Do you mind questions?

Why and when did they integrate? Who were they?
Well I remember two very specific ones, Becca and Seraph.

Becca was what we call a 'little' - a child alter. She would attach to females that she liked because she only wanted to be loved by a mother. So she would adopt mother figures periodically. She pretty much just liked to color and play with toys and just be a kid. We weren't aware of this at first because there was amnesia going on there, but when we got the internet we could see her write stuff periodically so things began to carry over and we figured out that she was there. We acknowledged her and gave her time to do her things like coloring and drawing and playing, and worked out her issue with needing love and wanting to have a mother. So I guess through acknowledgement and caring about her she didn't need to be split off anymore.

Seraph was kind of a rebellious teenager with a lot of pain. She wasn't necessarily bad but acted out a lot, with self harm and substance abuse. There were blackouts there but it was rather obvious what was going on since we'd end up drunk or with cuts on the body. She had to be convinced that doing this was not ok. After working that out she integrated as well.

You speak as if the monster is still there, attacking. Is that how it feels to those locked in?
Some times it's like that. I have nightmares that my mother is still alive. Some times in a dream somebody knocks at the door and I open it and there she is, she's back and fully intends to take over. Usually results in waking up in a panic with lots of tears.

Are you older or more co-conscious than the others? Can you see and know all of them?
Connections are fuzzy at times but I'm semi co-conscious with most. I'm the oldest right now and have awareness of the others but some times it's a blurry link, I don't know the others entirely and when they switch in and I'm in the back it's kind of like watching somebody else from inside their head and I kind of have a vague recollection of what transpired during that time.

What do you think about that book I just posted?
It seems like an interesting read. I might like to read it myself.


Thank you. :blush: I think this is one of the most beautiful illustrations of how a mind can protect a body. Usually we just think of our mind as passive. But the mind is really working in people who have this. I cannot even bring myself to call it a disorder, though I understand why it is. Because it brings order to dysfunction. Who are we to then say it is 'disorder'?

Yeah. It's said that everybody dissociates a little bit. It's just not often this defined.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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Well I remember two very specific ones, Becca and Seraph.

Seraphs are those things in the bible, aren't they? Like angels or something?

Becca was what we call a 'little' - a child alter. She would attach to females that she liked because she only wanted to be loved by a mother. So she would adopt mother figures periodically. She pretty much just liked to color and play with toys and just be a kid. We weren't aware of this at first because there was amnesia going on there, but when we got the internet we could see her write stuff periodically so things began to carry over and we figured out that she was there. We acknowledged her and gave her time to do her things like coloring and drawing and playing, and worked out her issue with needing love and wanting to have a mother. So I guess through acknowledgement and caring about her she didn't need to be split off anymore.

When you say 'we' you are speaking of yourselves? Or other people outside yourself?

So the others would step back when she needed to 'come forward' and let her have her time? What words do you use to describe it?

Seraph was kind of a rebellious teenager with a lot of pain. She wasn't necessarily bad but acted out a lot, with self harm and substance abuse. There were blackouts there but it was rather obvious what was going on since we'd end up drunk or with cuts on the body. She had to be convinced that doing this was not ok. After working that out she integrated as well.

Somehow, inside, doesn't the core(s) know what is happening and won't it usually rise up and stop before serious harm can be inflicted? I mean you personally, not just in general, though if you know in general, that is good to state as well. Could others (is this the best term to use?) really want to commit suicide and carry that out? I know suicide is higher in dissociative disorders. Is this how it manifests, do you think? Or is it really the core(s) wanting to just end it all for all the others?


Some times it's like that. I have nightmares that my mother is still alive. Some times in a dream somebody knocks at the door and I open it and there she is, she's back and fully intends to take over. Usually results in waking up in a panic with lots of tears.

So your mother is dead.

Connections are fuzzy at times but I'm semi co-conscious with most. I'm the oldest right now and have awareness of the others but some times it's a blurry link, I don't know the others entirely and when they switch in and I'm in the back it's kind of like watching somebody else from inside their head and I kind of have a vague recollection of what transpired during that time.

I can actually imagine this.


It seems like an interesting read. I might like to read it myself.

:smile: I cannot wait.




Thanks so much. I'm soooo happy to talk about this after all these years of researching it and dealing with it with my friends. :heart:

Yeah. It's said that everybody dissociates a little bit. It's just not often this defined.

Hmm. Yeah, I think I might do it in a very very minor way sometimes, when my mind is faced with something I cannot incorporate.
 

sprinkles

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Seraphs are those things in the bible, aren't they? Like angels or something?
Yeah, kind of an ironic name isn't it?

When you say 'we' you are speaking of yourselves? Or other people outside yourself?
Insiders yup.

So the others would step back when she needed to 'come forward' and let her have her time? What words do you use to describe it?
It's difficult to describe. It's just... suddenly being somebody else. There's no words for it because most people can't relate to it. Some times it is accompanied by dizziness, light headedness, or disorientation. Maybe even headaches.

Somehow, inside, doesn't the core(s) know what is happening and won't it usually rise up and stop before serious harm can be inflicted? I mean you personally, not just in general, though if you know in general, that is good to state as well. Could others (is this the best term to use?) really want to commit suicide and carry that out? I know suicide is higher in dissociative disorders. Is this how it manifests, do you think? Or is it really the core(s) wanting to just end it all for all the others.
I'm not entirely sure. I think it might be a dangerous assumption. I think one of the biggest problems with this are involuntary switches, or even completely forced takovers. It's a hell of a thing especially when you're trying to fight it and your head becomes a jumbled mess. Has led to sleepless nights where everything is just churning and spinning and I want to throw up or collapse into myself.

So your mother is dead.
Yup. Got doped up and crashed the car, she did.

Thanks so much. I'm soooo happy to talk about this after all these years of researching it and dealing with it with my friends. :heart:
No problem. I don't usually discuss it much because people find it to be an odd thing, but the mind is really quite amazing with what it can do so it's worth talking about when somebody is actually interested.
 
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