In my opinion, someone with a healthy self esteme, would have a realistic view of their abilities, but would focus more on the things they are good at than things they are not good at.
I don't think that self confidence is one uniform thing. There are some things I am pretty good at, and I have high confidence in my abilities. There are things I am very bad at, and I don't have very high confidence in. There are lots of inbetween things too.
It also matters how you define self confidence. Concider the difference between these two statements:
I believe I am a talented artist.
I believe I could learn to be a talented artist.
The first statement expresses confidence in your current abilities. Being confident in your abilities can be good, you are more likely to share your work with others, more likely to try to sell it professionally and perhaps even more likely to cconvince others that it is good. It can also be bad, especially if your opinion is overrated. You may feel you don't need to improve any because you are already fantastic. In contrast, people who say "I don't think I am a talented artist" may give up altogether, but they may also be motivated to study and practice more so they can be better.
The second statement states that you believe you have the potential. In this case it can inspire you to put more time and effort into learning, not give up as easily, and have a higher chance of success. In contrast people who say "I could never learn to do that" will never succeed because they don't even try.
Ilah
Very insightful post on a forgotten thread. The things I wrote about in the OP are still current.
I'm happy to notice I don't have a failure attitude on any one thing I or the people in general consider important.
I do understand I'm great, adequate and ok in thing A,B and X, tho I'm not proud of any of that.
I've recently recovered from burnout and tho I have many great abilities and good qualities, I have very little achieved success to show it. Mainly, my income has dropped again (it was good for a while).
I've started to judge myself as some healthy person (which I am), but I haven't been healthy for very long time. Few months, to be exact. During my illness (burnout, depression) I judged myself for my prospects, what I could do when recovered. I was happy about it. Now as someone recovered, I can't congratulate myself by my abilities or chances to do something, as the only viable measure I have in my head is established success. Not future success or anything like that.
So I guess I'm realizing my low success and having a realistic view of myself. Perhaps this is a specialty situation that the standard theory of self-esteem and self-confidence doesn't explain well.
I think my attitude is indifference to my good qualities. I look that I have a talent D, E and F, but what I'm looking for? Success in pursuit P. So if I haven't succeeded in P yet, I just go pff, what good those D,E and F are going to do if they aren't getting me the P? I'll congratulate myself when I get P, not earlier.
I think I might be too hard on myself, but perhaps I'm treating myself just right, wanting to go forward when I see what little I have accomplished. Still, I've accomplished something, still. Recovered, stayed alive, found will to live.. and prepared for future success.