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What makes people "super-expose" their lives on social networks?

Lady_X

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Haha I know right!!

Things like that happen more often when I've consumed much caffeine.

Please do forgive me kind sir.
 

Lark

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I feel like lately I've been thrust more and more towards the conclusion that there's something fundamentally pathological about FB.

What I mean is, it encourages a kind of fucked up identity projection that allows one to objectify themselves. Something about that encourages delusional and odd attention seeking behaviors, and I really do think that rather than being an extension of people's real need for attention, social networks kind of create that need.

I think maybe with younger people, I'm conscious that being part of a generation which grew up before all these things, FB and even mobile phones, definitely before phones with built in cameras its entirely different to someone growing up now when these things all have a very different significance.

I've one mate at least who doesnt have an FB account and flat out refuses to create one, he's "appeared" on FB in photos his wife has posted and said that occasionally he has used her account to check updates from mutual friends but in the main he takes nothing to do with it, either visiting it to see others updates or thinking about sharing something there. Its just a none starter and he feels no need. That was me a couple of years ago before I became a regular user and I just have it on in the background now when I log on I generally have a couple of windows open, forums, cracked.com, news sites, blogs and facebook.

There are things which concern me, it can lead people into unhealthy behaviour, there's excessive self-disclosure, particularly without privacy settings and I've seen the information pages steadily expand from what they originally were, sparing in detail, to census like in quality and because there's no note of compulsion or anything people volunteer information they'd protest at the government or anyone else collecting. This is something that so called "libertarian paternalists" of the Nudge school of thought have written about and profiled.

It can go to extremes were people jeopardise their work, their families, their property, posting opinions or content which appears to contravene corporate policy, I've known people to get into problems for posting while at work (even if its from a mobile while taking a crap), a lot of people dont think about posting holiday arrangements or checking in locations abroad they are flagging that their homes may be empty and open for burgulary. Stuff like that and none of it comes with a manual, the internet hasnt got a manual, a lot of the under users take their que from others.

There's other stuff I've read about the tech involved playing into the hands of what is called self generated indecent images of children (SGIIC) and how easily these images can fall into the hands of predators or be used in cyber bullying of pretty serious sorts but its real depressing stuff and not exactly what I think the OP is complaining about.
 

wolfy

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Haha I know right!!

Things like that happen more often when I've consumed much caffeine.

Please do forgive me kind sir.

I forgive you. You know, on your point about kids... I am two minds. I think there is too much, but I like that it is interactive, probably
better than all the time I spent passively watching The Flintstones. I like that my daughter can take pics and create on her DS for example.
 

highlander

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Right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer but am kind of bored. I just had an avocado sandwich. I'm thinking about taking a nap. I will probably do that soon. We're going out to a restaurant tonight and to play bocci ball so that will be fun. It was raining most of the day but seems to have stopped. I just bought some camping chairs and they're really great. Here's my dog. So cute isn't it?

2146594-293269-russian-toy-terrier-thoroughbred-dog-ridiculous-dog.jpg
 

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wolfy

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Right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer but am kind of bored. I just had an avocado sandwich. I'm thinking about taking a nap. I will probably do that soon. We're going out to a restaurant tonight and to play bocci ball so that will be fun. It was raining most of the day but seems to have stopped. I just bought some camping chairs and they're really great. Here's my dog. So cute isn't it?

2146594-293269-russian-toy-terrier-thoroughbred-dog-ridiculous-dog.jpg

like
 

Wolfie

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I liked the word [MENTION=4490]Orangey[/MENTION] used... "pathological".

I just have this strange intuition about facebook, that it's changing our social patterns in some horrifying way. I am horrified, anyways. I had one for about 4 years that I deactivated and never went back to. I hated the thousands of pictures of me, the phantom friends, the interconnectedness that just wasn't real. I just had to end that period of my life and facebook was just hauling everything in a trail behind me.. it's like being haunted. After a while I made a new facebook and just added close friends, rejecting anyone that I didn't talk to regularly in real life, or that I didn't have a permanent bond with. I like being able to see what my friends/family are up to, look at their pictures, etc. I've had my new facebook for a while now, and I have begun to add acquaintances, because I really see no way around socializing without facebook when most people my age +/-10 years are seemingly dependent on it.

But that's tangential. To answer the OP, I think having an internet identity or an internet "existence" lures people into an attention-seeking mindset. Before, if you had something to say, you'd call up a friend and talk. Now, you don't need anyone to agree to the exchange before you share, you merely throw yourself out into the ether and some people might just respond to you. It's instant validation and you find it feels pretty good. Some people need more validation than others.

I have a friend (using this word loosely) who constantly whines about her life just to get "poor you" reactions from random people on facebook. It reaffirms her identity as a victim, in my opinion, and she loves it. I could never see her keeping her shit to herself, because then she might get over it. Someone who goes to shows all the time, posts about them, and gets 100 likes, might not go to shows if they aren't getting that validation. I think posting constantly on facebook about the things you are doing helps you mold yourself into someone who is likable, who does things that make you interesting.. reaffirms that you matter.

Just an off the top of my head collection of thoughts... I prefer discussion! :unsure:
 

sprinkles

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I think this partially evolved from silly small talk.

People now invent stuff to answer boring stupid questions before they are even asked, like "what did you do today?"

Seriously. I hate that question. My answer is usually "not much" because the alternative is often "tell a boring story that I don't want to tell and they don't actually want to hear about" then I have to wonder why the hell do I get asked to begin with.
 

Lark

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I liked the word [MENTION=4490]Orangey[/MENTION] used... "pathological".

I just have this strange intuition about facebook, that it's changing our social patterns in some horrifying way.

You know Zukerburg et al plan it that way, he's gone on the record a number of times about how he'd like a world of complete and utter transparency in which no one can hide any secrets or have any privacy, its in his visionary talks and position statements.

I thought it was bizarre the sort of disclosure in The Social Network and other books about the rise of facebook but its all part of it too. Its real paradigm shifting stuff or at least they want it to be.
 

King sns

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I almost think it's an addiction. That little bit of attention and exciting social connection that they once had on facebook totally inundated the dopamine receptors and now no matter how many posts they make with no responses, they just can't stop. It's healthier than meth at least.
 

jixmixfix

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It's lame I hate it too but we live in an age where everything is exposed and nothing is appreciated or special anymore. It's technology. I've noticed society increasingly become more "bland" and "zombie like" over the years as a child growing up in the 90's. Society has become much more materialistic we are depending on technology much more than we used to to survive.
 

zelo1954

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I almost think it's an addiction. That little bit of attention and exciting social connection that they once had on facebook totally inundated the dopamine receptors and now no matter how many posts they make with no responses, they just can't stop. It's healthier than meth at least.

I know your post is just the tip of the iceberg in this thread but I had to quote something. I have an ISFP friend who uses FB to tell the whole wide world in the most negative ways possible about the latest revelation embraced with great passion. I've been at my wits end to try to understand if it's a real ISFP personality thing, a shadow side coming to the fore, or simply effing Facebook. On Facebook you sort of feel king of the castle and nobody can take it away from you.
 

wolfy

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Actually, that's not my dog.

No shit :)

Personally I think this would have worked even better...

Right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer but am kind of bored. I just had an avocado sandwich. I'm thinking about taking a nap. I will probably do that soon. We're going out to a restaurant tonight and to play bocci ball so that will be fun. It was raining most of the day but seems to have stopped. I just bought some camping chairs and they're really great. Here's my dog. So cute isn't it?

800px-NCI_Visuals_Food_Hot_Dog.jpg
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I also think that people are more isolated now than ever before. We have a longer history of living within a small tribe for generations. Now we move about in a society larger than our comprehension. Most friendships and even relationships are fleeting for many. People stop talking to their families, and older people never hear from their children. People are vulnerable to buy the latest product to make them sexy so people will gravitate towards them, they sign up for seminars on how to win at business and love, TV preachers with unconvincing tears manipulate spiritual motivations, and all the while we drive faster and faster cars. I think a continual sense of existential isolation underlies our living and people's attempts to connect are often the social equivalent of the nutritional benefits of french fries.
 

Lark

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I also think that people are more isolated now than ever before. We have a longer history of living within a small tribe for generations. Now we move about in a society larger than our comprehension. Most friendships and even relationships are fleeting for many. People stop talking to their families, and older people never hear from their children. People are vulnerable to buy the latest product to make them sexy so people will gravitate towards them, they sign up for seminars on how to win at business and love, TV preachers with unconvincing tears manipulate spiritual motivations, and all the while we drive faster and faster cars. I think a continual sense of existential isolation underlies our living and people's attempts to connect are often the social equivalent of the nutritional benefits of french fries.

^ This so perfectly sums up the social malaise which I think has cursed post-scarcity western life, its after taste is a mix of alienation and misanthropy.
 

Rosabel

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Just one thing though, excluding all these points, including the most vaguely defined final point, what purpose does Face Book have? What would you use it for?

Well, I like to use it to communicate with distant friends/ family members on the chat (people stopped using IM so hard that when I log in I feel like walking into a graveyard), receiving feeds about things I like, sharing some things I find interesting, this kind of thing. On my FB people will hardly find some info about my private life (including uninteresting details).

---------------

And then, a bad use of FB may cause some polemic behaviour as this:


Caused mainly by a (immature) teenager venting about her family publicly, exposing very unnecessary things.
 
G

Glycerine

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I used to be rather obnoxious on FB but I don't do much on there anymore (I will post a random philosophical thought every once in awhile). It seems like most of my FB friends are actually getting tired of FB and don't post much other than song lyrics, pictures of memes, or crap about some political agenda... it's kinda interesting. Also, many of them seem to have themes: other people's idiocy, anything dog related, their infant son, school.

I could see how the validation thing rings true. Whenever the girl who was known as the "prettiest girl in high school" (she actually is really pretty) posts a picture of herself on FB, she typically gets 30+ likes and a few comments about how pretty/beautiful she is or she posts a status (which is almost always a song lyric), she gets 20-50+ likes.
 

Rasofy

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- Saying every little thing that happens in their lives on FB;
Boredom.
- Sharing every mellow picture with a "romantic" quote and tag their bf/gf;
The need to go full retard. Manifests in different ways and frequencies, and don't fool yourself - it exists in every human.
- Posting photos of every little thing of their day to day lives;
Boredom.
- Expressing opinions that doesn't even matter;
Boredom + need to have an identity + desire to bond with people who share the same opinions.
 
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