Self-Mastery

[AgentF]

There are analytical aspects to what you described, imo, but I didn't mean to imply that it was more T-ish than F-ish, or that it's somehow in conflict with femininity.

oh i don't know that i believe anything is in conflict with femininity or masculinity. i believe that understanding your feminine and masculine energies is part of self-mastery.

and when you find that you can play with both with some facility, you are liberated from traditional expectations (limitations) and begin to explore your true nature.

From an outside perspective, it seems more like a cost-benefit analysis done subconsciously, which was heavily influenced by emotion, followed by a more conscious analytical process that brought some order and reason to the chaos. So...the emotion and logic work hand in hand to decide the desired end state and weigh the options, all without really breaking it down mentally, and then the logical thought process is used to explain the decision that you had already reached, in a simpler way.

that may be right and it isn't a conscious process, my mind simply goes through various quick scenarios like a disk scan and i choose the most plausible one. and if i care, it always gets an Fi tire-kicking before i stick it out there.

the cost-benefit analysis part is definitely true.

It's really difficult to draw the line between infatuation and actual love so that's the only real criteria that I have come up with, although it doesn't only apply to romantic love.

there are many theories on the stages of love/intimacy, and infatuation is probably the most tricky when it comes to maintaining some sense of self-mastery, as it seems our neurochemistry conspires against rational thought in that stage.

and yes: self-mastery is deeply rational in my view. and:

I think that this is a -very- important point. In my opinion, without it, your actions will always be trying to compensate for something that you feel that you lack, even if you don't realize it. That skews your self-mastery towards certain goals that wouldn't necessarily be that important to you if you had it.

part of my views on this stem from my views on rational objectivism, and the thorn that this particular philosophy left in left in my side. and, i suppose, elements of Darwinism.

it simply is the rational choice.

Can you say more about this? I don't understand it at all (or Metamorphosis' comment, either) but feel you are close to something important.

the closer i get to self-mastery (and it is a gruesome, incremental + fairly bloody process for someone like me--i'm a willful beast and this is a lifetime effort), the more independent i become. and this gives me more options than i previously had because my perspective has been thrown open. i am less attached to outcomes and more objective, so that i can better guide my actions for maximum impact, realize more of my goals, and (not surprisingly) have more of myself to offer others because my resources aren't consumed by ineffective, self-defeating behavior.

i can also identify their self-limiting behaviors more easily, and offer others the benefit of my detachment plus insight. free of judgment, which makes it easier for them to come forward. that is one of the ways i know how to love, and an understanding of self-mastery makes this possible.

i have also observed that my capacity to love increases as i acquire more self-mastery.

it is somewhat awkward for me to articulate these things, as they occur on a very deep, very private level in my case. but i enjoy exploring the topic and seeing how the rest of you approach these things.

 

[Coriolis]

the closer i get to self-mastery (and it is a gruesome, incremental + fairly bloody process for someone like me--i'm a willful beast and this is a lifetime effort), the more independent i become. and this gives me more options than i previously had because my perspective has been thrown open. i am less attached to outcomes and more objective, so that i can better guide my actions for maximum impact, realize more of my goals, and (not surprisingly) have more of myself to offer others because my resources aren't consumed by ineffective, self-defeating behavior.

i can also identify their self-limiting behaviors more easily, and offer others the benefit of my detachment plus insight. free of judgment, which makes it easier for them to come forward. that is one of the ways i know how to love, and an understanding of self-mastery makes this possible.

i have also observed that my capacity to love increases as i acquire more self-mastery.

it is somewhat awkward for me to articulate these things, as they occur on a very deep, very private level in my case. but i enjoy exploring the topic and seeing how the rest of you approach these things.

It sounds, then, like the connection between self-mastery and love is something you experience personally, rather than an axiomatic connection you would claim as valid for everyone. Is this correct? I can certainly see the connection between greater self-mastery and greater ability to help others, but not all honest efforts to be helpful are driven by love.

 

[Mole]

Becoming Absurd with Self Mastery

We are born without any self mastery at all, not even of our sphincter.

And then with the help of our parents, our teachers and our friends, we learn self mastery over a period of twenty-two years.

And having struggled for twenty-two years to attain self mastery (our own mein kampf), we are naturally proud of ourselves and our parents are proud of us too.

So naturally we are loathe to give up our self mastery, but if we don't give up our self mastery, we spend the rest of our lives carrying out the same old struggle time and time again - haven't you noticed?

So we repeat the same old struggle unnecessarily and so become absurd.

 

[WALMART]

self mastery, for me, is to understand my facilities and how they factor in the world i live through.


and no, i do not believe it is a mutually exclusive affair.

 

[AgentF]

It sounds, then, like the connection between self-mastery and love is something you experience personally, rather than an axiomatic connection you would claim as valid for everyone. Is this correct? I can certainly see the connection between greater self-mastery and greater ability to help others, but not all honest efforts to be helpful are driven by love.

yes.

yes.

 

[entropie]

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