Why Creepy People Give Us The Willies

[Mal12345]

http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2012/04/why-creepy-people-give-us-the.html?ref=hp

'The study, he says, highlights that "social norms are really critical to follow in order to establish a good bond with people." He adds that while people can consciously use mimicry to get in good with certain associates, they should proceed cautiously: "You can't do it too much, otherwise people are going to notice."'

 

[Totenkindly]

Yeah, there's a certain feedback loop that gets established when people interact.

Not only are people able to sense (well, most of the time) when someone is overdoing it in order to build a fake connection, but they can sense when they are not getting back the cues they expect. I'm very aware of social cues, and often I find myself responding in certain ways that I might not do totally instinctively but I want the other person to be reassured that I'm engaging them in a positive way. (So it's not enough to internalize feelings of goodwill; i try to make it visible to others from time to time, whether it's just a tone of voice, or facial expression, or body language, or saying thank you for something, etc.)

There is a kind of synergy that develops, and either too many cues or not enough cues, and cues at inappropriate times throw off the interaction and unsettle people.

 

[Cellmold]

So this explains why people hush up when I walk past and stare....

 

[garbage]

As we all know, this applies to only half of the population--those that have Fe. Those who have Fi are immune to this phenomenon.

Sorry; I could not resist.

 

[Jaguar]

"social norms are really critical to follow in order to establish a good bond with people."

That's why John Wayne Gacy was so well-liked in his community.

 

[Coriolis]

'The study, he says, highlights that "social norms are really critical to follow in order to establish a good bond with people." He adds that while people can consciously use mimicry to get in good with certain associates, they should proceed cautiously: "You can't do it too much, otherwise people are going to notice."'

This article gives me the willies, or at least leaves me very unsettled. It is like trying to pin down a cloud, and makes some very broad assumptions. It assumes there is a standard set of social cues that everyone is able to perceive and will interpret in the same way. It also assumes people will personalize or internalize encounters like the ones in the study. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would see the contradictory behavior displayed by the interviewer as a reflection on them, and look beyond it to the actual substance of the exchange.

Particularly disturbing is what this says about our interactions with people outside our culture or social group. Different groups may have different social cues, or at least different interpretations of the same behaviors. Are we doomed to consider such "outsiders" weird? No, because we are able to understand human diversity, and not jump to conclusions about inputs that don't match what is familiar.

As we all know, this applies to only half of the population--those that have F in their type. Those who have T are immune to this phenomenon.

Fixed. (I couldn't resist either.)

 

[UniqueMixture]

It's the emotional uncanny valley!

 

[Snoopy22]

Perhaps creepy people get the jitters from the supposed non-creepy people.

 

[Thalassa]

Well the problem with this is that all people who don't pick up on social norms aren't necessarily "creepy" or "dangerous."

Just some of them.

Some people are definitely creepy, but others are autistic or something.

 

[Glycerine]

That's why John Wayne Gacy was so well-liked in his community.

Along with Ted Bundy. Friends of people I know said "he seemed nice and charming". One of them was thinking about accepting his invitation but had her kids in the back so declined.

So yes, case in point, many sociopaths and psychopaths know how to put on superficial charm and follow social norms for their own benefit. It's about getting what they want from others so many of them will use social norms and superficial rapport as a means to a specific end.

 

[Jaguar]

Along with Ted Bundy. Friends of people I know said "he seemed nice and charming". One of them was thinking about accepting his invitation but had her kids in the back so declined.

So yes, case in point, many sociopaths and psychopaths know how to put on superficial charm and follow social norms for their own benefit. It's about getting what they want from others so many of them will use social norms and superficial rapport as a means to a specific end.

Does this guy look like a killer?

That's none other than Andrew Cunanan, the charismatic killer who in 1997 gunned down Gianni Versace on the front steps of his house in Miami, Florida. He allegedly went on a killing spree prior to killing Versace. About a week later, he committed suicide on a houseboat before police could apprehend him. That was a highly publicized manhunt.

Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbors referred to him as a "nice man." Meanwhile, he was chopping up body parts and eating them for a midnight snack.

 

[Glycerine]

Does this guy look like a killer?

That's none other than Andrew Cunanan, the charismatic killer who in 1997 gunned down Gianni Versace on the front steps of his house in Miami, Florida. He allegedly went on a killing spree prior to killing Versace. About a week later, he committed suicide on a houseboat before police could apprehend him. That was a highly publicized manhunt.

Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbors referred to him as a "nice man." Meanwhile, he was chopping up body parts and eating them for a midnight snack.

yes, in general, we would like to think we know how to differentiate the creepers from the the average person but it's more of an idealistic want to make us feel more secure about the world than a realistic objective. The scary truth is that we mostly catch serial killers/creepy people by luck and hard work. It's not easy as TV portays it or whether or not they follow social norms.

"While there are many wonderful police investigators out there doing some very fine work, the majority of the time it is not brains that catches serial killers. Usually it is just dumb luck. Ted was speeding. One Alabama serial killer I was investigating was doing just fine until he took a girl out to the woods to kill her. His car got stuck in the mud and he had to call a friend for a tow."

"Police are reluctant to label a murder as a possible serial homicide. Telling the community a serial killer is out there stirs up a lot of unpleasant attention. The bad publicity kills tourism, and citizens start asking police what they are doing about catching this creep terrorizing their neighborhood. Besides, if one follows the ”gotta have killed three” requirement, unless there are at least those three and there is DNA matching the murders or the bodies are all dumped in the same place, the police aren’t going to say there is a serial killer involved."


http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/profiling/s_k_myths/index.html

 

[prplchknz]

seeeeee?? this is why people shouldn't be scared of me because i'm harmless.

 

[Salomé]

I don't follow social norms and no one thinks I'm creepy.

The research and the article's analysis are at odds. Incongruous, in fact. And it is the incongruity that makes people uncomfortable. Because they like predictability. It makes them feel safe.

 

[RaptorWizard]

 

[RaptorWizard]

Behold the Ultimate Absent-Minded Professor, behind only Einstein! True gangsters sure are scary.

 

[Hate]

I keep reading this title as, "Why Weepy People Give us the Crillies."

 

[Laurie]

I don't follow social norms and no one thinks I'm creepy.

The research and the article's analysis are at odds. Incongruous, in fact. And it is the incongruity that makes people uncomfortable. Because they like predictability. It makes them feel safe.

How do you know?

Someone at my game group is creepy and he has no idea other people think it. He thinks he's smooth.

 

[Salomé]

How do you know?

Someone at my game group is creepy and he has no idea other people think it. He thinks he's smooth.

That would be awesome. If I was creeping people out and didn't even know it?!!
Righteous.

I keep reading this title as, "Why Weepy People Give us the Crillies."

You sound boss-eyed. Which is creepy.
I keep reading it as "When Creepy People Give You Their Willy".
Which is probably wishful thinking.

 

[Rasofy]

I think a good part of the behaviors that makes a man ''creepy'' makes a woman just ''crazy'', or a ''freak''. Which tends to be a bit more amusing.