Do you prefer to hear the good news or the bad news first?

[Such Irony]

Personally, I prefer to hear the bad news first and get it over with. That way, things can only get better. If I hear the good news first, I find I don't enjoy the good news as much because I know something bad is going to come.

It's also been my experience that when the good news is given first, its a sometimes misguided attempt to soften the blow of the bad news. It seems like the intensity of the bad in the bad news is more than the intensity of the good in the good news in cases like this.

What do you prefer to hear first and why? Do you have a preference?

 

[Totenkindly]

Bad news first, as a rule. I'd rather end on a high note, and also have everything in context.

 

[Eric B]

My thoughts exactly!

 

[Redbone]

Gimme the bad news first. I want to get down to business and start fixing things.

 

[Viridian]

Bad news first, for the reasons you mentioned. Unless the choice is between "bad" and "very very very bad" news.

 

[citizen cane]

I'd rather get hearing the bad news over with right away.

 

[Keps Mnemnosyne]

My ideal way of stating news is going first by how much of an impact it will have on me and the sender, then by it's duration, and finally bad news before good.

Great impact>Less effect
Immediate>Long term> Short term
Bad news>Good news

For example I would prefer that a significant other state first that she got a sizable income increase before telling me that she ran over my bike and hopefully telling me she needs to go to the hospital immediately before any other news. Nonetheless all other things equal, I prefer bad news before good news.

 

[King sns]

I have a knack for freaking out when someone is about to tell me bad news.

"WHAT???? WHAT IS IT?????!!!!!" Because my head jumps to the very worst possible news I can get. So whatever is going on in my head, the news usually ends up being a little less bad than expected. I definitely want to get the bad news first so I can get some relief. I wouldn't even hear good news if you told me that first.

 

[chickpea]

i feel like in those situations the good news is never good enough to make up for the bad news. so i guess i'd actually take the good news first.

 

[INTP]

If someone would ask that question from me irl, id answer with JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY!!!

 

[violaine]

If someone would ask that question from me irl, id answer with JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY!!!

Hah, yes, this.

(Just dispense with the choice altogether and hit me right between the eyes with it. That's what I prefer because then I don't have time to anticipate and get wound up and nervous - all the fight or flight energy goes towards the actual problem).

 

[ceecee]

If someone would ask that question from me irl, id answer with JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY!!!

Bad news.

 

[EcK]

Classify them in terms of urgency and resource requirements and I'll be the judge of the qualitative aspects.
Otherwise you might as well start by the bad, except if the good is needed to fully understand the bad ( 'we got X but Y which is a segment of X didn't work out as we wanted'). The otherway around applies as well, don't start with the bad just for the sake of starting with the bad if it's a subset of the 'good news'.

Then again that's all common sense and people do it more or less reliably without having to go through any kind of formal logic on a daily basis.

 

[FDG]

Whatever happened first.

 

[JocktheMotie]

I don't need useless things like good/bad. I'd rather not have someone color my perceptions of the event from the get go. Just tell me what happened. Then we'll figure out what to do.

 

[NPcomplete]

Good and bad are relative. I'd rather hear the facts first and then decide.

Besides explicitly saying "good news" makes me develop very high expectations (and then I'm disappointed) and saying "bad news" makes me extremely anxious and panicky (and sometimes my very morbid imagination is disappointed afterwards as well ).

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

Cut to the chase.

If someone would ask that question from me irl, id answer with JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY!!!

Lol, I've lost count of how many times i've done that.

 

[jixmixfix]

Wow i can't believe this thread even made it as a topic. Like it really makes a difference.

 

[Anew Leaf]

My overall preference is to just be told the news and I will decide if it's bad or good. I get irritated when people do this to me. 95% of the time it's because the person just wants an excuse to be melodramatic and they get off on being the bringer of bad news. Pass.

Also good and bad are subjective and relative to each person.

Example, one of my employees came up to me last week looking like someone had not only run over their pet dog but had sex with the corpse as well. "Saturned, I have some bad news." Me (feeling mildly alarmed), "Uh, ok, what's up?" Them, "I have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday and so I may be late by 30 minutes... I hope that's ok!!"

 

[So It Goes]

"The good news is that you just got a promotion."

Yay!!

"The bad news is that you have AIDS."