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The Upside of Being an Introvert

Vasilisa

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The Upside of Being an Introvert
(and why extroverts are overrated)
By Brian Walsh
February 6, 2012
TIME

Excerpt:
We're not that alone, even if it sometimes feels that way. By some estimates, 30% of all people fall on the introvert end of the temperament spectrum--but it takes some explaining to understand just what that label means. For one thing, introverted does not have to mean shy, though there is overlap. Shyness is a form of anxiety characterized by inhibited behavior. It also implies a fear of social judgment that can be crippling. Shy people actively seek to avoid social situations, even ones they might want to take part in, because they may be inhibited by fear. Introverts shun social situations because, Greta Garbo--style, they simply want to be alone.

"Introverted people aren't bothered by social situations," says Louis Schmidt, director of the Child Emotion Laboratory at McMaster University in Ontatio. "They just prefer not to engage." While extroverts draw energy from mingling with large groups of people--picture former President and extrovert in chief Bill Clinton joyously working a rope line--introverts find such social interactions taxing.

Simply being an introvert can also feel taxing--especially in America, land of the loud and home of the talkative. From classrooms built around group learning to pen-plan offices that encourage endless meetings, it sometimes seems that the quality of your work has less value than the volume of your voice.

And as if the world weren't slanted enough toward the extrovert, study after study has made sociability seem like a prerequisite for good health, right along with low cholesterol and frequent exercise. Very shy and introverted people have been shown to succumb more rapidly to diseases like HIV and to be at greater risk for depression than their extroverted counterparts. In schools, its the bolder kids who get attention from teachers, while quiet children can too easily languish in the back of the classroom. "Our culture expects people to be outgoing and sociable," says Christopher Lane, an English professor at Northwestern University and the author Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness. "Its the unstated norm, and against that norm introverts stand out as seemingly problematic."

But that unstated norm discounts the hidden benefits of the introverted temperament--for workplaces, personal relationships and society as a whole. Introverts may be able to fit all their friends in a phone booth, but those relationships tend to be deep and rewarding. Introverts are more cautious and deliberate than extroverts, but that means they tend to think things through more thoroughly, which means they can often make smarter decisions. Introverts are better at listening--which, after all, is easier to do if you're not talking--and that can in turn make them better business leaders, especially if their employees feel empowered to act on their own initiative. And simply by virtue of their ability to sit still and focus, introverts find it easier to spend long periods in solitary work, which turns out to be the best way to come up with a fresh idea of master a skill.

Introversion and extroversion aren't fixed categories--there's a personality spectrum, and many, known as ambivalent, fall in the gap between the two traits--but they are vital to our personality. "Our tendency to be extroverted or introverted is as profound a part of our identities as our gender," says Susan Cain, author of the new book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. "But there's a subtle bias against introverts, and it's generally a waste of talent and energy and happiness." It may be time for America to learn the forgotten rewards of sitting down and shutting up.

Born This Way
If you want to know how tough a society of extroverts can be for introverts and how quiet types can learn to adapt, you could do worse than talk to Cain. A graduate of Harvard Law School--not an institution known for churning out timid folks--she practiced corporate law for seven years before she began writing full time. During most of those years in the legal system, she hated what she did. Not every day--Cain loved research and writing--but it soon became clear that her soft-spoken, introspective temperament might not have been the best fit for a high-powered law firm. Eventually she left law and began working on her own, coaching clients in negotiating skills and working as a writer. "When I started practicing the law, I thought the ideal lawyer was bold and comfortable in the spotlight, but I was none of those things," says Cain. "I could fake those things, but it wasn't my natural self."

Faking it is exactly what a lot of introverts learn to do from an early age. And that masquerade covers up something primal and deep. Scientists have begun to learn that introverted or extroverted temperament seems strongly inborn and inherited, influencing our behavior from not long after we're out of the womb.

< link to TIME (subscription required) >

see also:
The Power of Lonely
 

redacted

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So basically, introverts interact with fewer things, but since they're more selective, they delve deeper?
 

JocktheMotie

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I've shared something similar among my social circles, so I'll just copy what I wrote there:

While I'm all for increasing awareness and education of differing dispositions, I tend to hate the self-helpy, you're-really-special-the-world-is-just-against-you sort of attitude that these articles can tend to perpetuate due to their language. Probably why I like enneagram so much; it's so negative it makes me feel more confident in what it tells me, and I'm not being pandered to.
 

rav3n

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"Hi, my name is Susan Cain and not only do I NEED to validate my existence, I also need to sell my book which isn't based on any scientific evidence, just chatting with people, observations and stuff."
 

JocktheMotie

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"Hi, my name is Susan Cain and not only do I NEED to validate my existence, I also need to sell my book which isn't based on any scientific evidence, just chatting with people, observations and stuff."

And, basically this.
 

Vasilisa

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Yes, the USA today article was so thin, I didn't feel it was worth posting, but together the coverage does come across as rather therapeutic for those who feel marginalized. "Extroverts caused the financial collapse!" lol. It is the cover story, though, so I thought it would be of interest on typeoc. There is this article on introversion, too. Here is a slightly meatier section that I wanted to share, because it dovetails more with the investigation of solitude and has some different contributors.

Caution, inhibition, and even fearfulness may be healthy--and smart adaptations for the overstimulated person, but they're still not characteristics many parents would want in their children, especially in a society that lionizes the bold. So it's common for moms and dads of introverted offspring to press their kids to be more outgoing, lest they end up overlooked in class and later in life. That, however, can be a mistake and not just because our temperaments are difficult to change fundamentally. The very fact that introverts arc more sensitive to their environment often means they're fully aware that they appear out of step with the expectations of others, and they can easily internalize that criticism. Just about every adult introvert can remember being scolded, even if gently, for being too quiet as a kid. Anytime a teacher grades on classroom participation, introverted kids will be at a disadvantage. There's nothing wrong with parents' nudging their shy children into the world, but there is something wrong if it's more than a nudge. "You don't want to break the kid by overwhelming their coping capacity,'' says Jay Belsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Davis. "The key is sensitive encouragement."

But introverts also have tremendous advantages. Sure, there are thrills to be found in the situations extroverts crave, but there are dangers too. Extroverts are more likely than introverts to be hospitalized as the result of an injury, for example, and they're more likely to have affairs or change relationships frequently, with all the collateral damage that can entail. And while we all seek rewards, extroverts may be too hungry for them. That can lead them to be ambitious, which is fine, but it may also make them prioritize ambition over avoiding serious risks, which is not. "Extroverts are much more likely to get really excited by the possibility of a reward, but because of that, they won't always pay attention to warning signals," says Cain. "Introverts are much more circumspect."

What happens when people chase rewards--particularly the financial kind--while ignoring the attendant risks of catastrophe and collapse? You get train wrecks like the economic crisis of 2008 and 2009, for which extroverts may deserve a lot of the blame. Camelia Kuhnen of Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management found in a study that a variation of a dopamine-regulating gene associated with thrill seeking is a strong predictor of financial risk taking. People with a gene variant linked to introversion, on the other hand, took 28% less financial risk than others. And this applies beyond finance. The overconfidence that characterizes many extroverts can lead to grave political mistakes like the failed Bay of Pigs invasion, in which President John F. Kennedy--a supreme extrovert--failed to foresee the strength of the opposition in Cuba.

Studies also show that introverts tend to be better gamblers because they have so keen an awareness of risk. It's no coincidence that Warren Buffett, the world's greatest investor, is widely considered to be a homebody, happier reading annual reports or playing bridge than going out and socializing. The introvert advantage isn't only about avoiding trouble--for yourself or the global financial system. Florida State University psychologist K. Anders Ericsson believes that deliberate practice--training conducted in solitude, with no partner or teammate--is key to achieving transcendent skill whether in a sport, in a vocation or with a musical instrument. In one study, Ericsson and some of his colleagues asked professors at the Music academy in Berlin to divide violinists into three groups, ranging from those who would likely go on to professional careers to those who would become teachers instead of performers. The researchers asked the violinists to keep diaries and found that all three groups spent about the same amount of time--more than 50 hours a week--on musical activities. But the two groups whose skill levels made them likelier to play well enough to perform publicly spent most of their time practicing in solitude.

In later studies, Ericsson and his colleagues found similar results with chess grand masters, athletes and even ordinary college students studying for exams. For all these groups, solitary training allows for a level of intense and personal focus that's hard to sustain in a group setting. You gain the most on your performance when you work alone," says Ericsson. "And the introverted temperament might make some kids more willing to make that commitment."

The trouble is, fewer and fewer of us have time for solitary contemplation and practice anymore. It's not just the assault of e-mail, cell phones and social. media; in fact, many introverts prefer these digital tools because they provide a buffer that telephone conversations and face-to-face meetings don't. But the very geography of the American workplace is designed to force people together. Some 70% of American workers spend their days in open-plan offices, with little or no separation from colleagues; since 1970, the average amount of space allotted to each employee has shrunk from 500 sq. ft. (46 sq m) to 200 sq. ft. (19 sq m). Much of this is done in the name of collaboration, but enforced teamwork can stifle creativity.
 

DisneyFanGirl

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That's pretty cool. I'm a very shy extrovert so situations in which most extroverts would thrive make me want to run away. I prefer one-on-one interactions, they give me a lot of energy. Nice to know my behavior is fairly normal and healthy.
 

Hera

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"Hi, my name is Susan Cain and not only do I NEED to validate my existence, I also need to sell my book which isn't based on any scientific evidence, just chatting with people, observations and stuff."

Pretty much. It's like self-reassurance and book sales combined.
 

Salomé

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I've shared something similar among my social circles, so I'll just copy what I wrote there:

While I'm all for increasing awareness and education of differing dispositions, I tend to hate the self-helpy, you're-really-special-the-world-is-just-against-you sort of attitude that these articles can tend to perpetuate due to their language. Probably why I like enneagram so much; it's so negative it makes me feel more confident in what it tells me, and I'm not being pandered to.
Introverts are marginalised. Introversion is still disparaged by the extrovert majority because they do not understand it. At all. It doesn't hurt to balance the PR a bit.

I was told to go easy on someone at work recently because "he's an introvert!" Which I found fucking hilarious. What they meant was "he's a pussy". They actually thought they were being kind.
 

Southern Kross

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I've shared something similar among my social circles, so I'll just copy what I wrote there:

While I'm all for increasing awareness and education of differing dispositions, I tend to hate the self-helpy, you're-really-special-the-world-is-just-against-you sort of attitude that these articles can tend to perpetuate due to their language. Probably why I like enneagram so much; it's so negative it makes me feel more confident in what it tells me, and I'm not being pandered to.

"Hi, my name is Susan Cain and not only do I NEED to validate my existence, I also need to sell my book which isn't based on any scientific evidence, just chatting with people, observations and stuff."
Fair enough comments, but isn't this subject still of value, and to extroverts too? Would you not agree that homogenised social/work/school environments (in any form) stifle progress, creativity or even effective functionality? I think you are distracted by the pandering and in the process dismiss the central point too hastily.

I also think part of the problem is that they have to write such articles at all; that someone has to explain that introverts aren't perverse losers. And seeing as they make up 30-50% of the population, this in and of itself is a little worrying.
 

highlander

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Introverts are marginalised. Introversion is still disparaged by the extrovert majority because they do not understand it.

This is true. I used to feel it much more acutely when I was younger, especially in school, but even today I hear extraverts put down introvert behaviors on a semi-frequent basis - more disturbingly sometimes in performance evaluations.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I agree there is a strong extrovert bias in society. The positive aspect of introversion is that you have less need of people in general, and I find that can make life easier because people can be complicated to deal with even for those who need the interactions. It can also help to find work that fits with how your mind functions. I avoid teaching in groups because there are too many signals all at once, and instead work one-on-one where I can concentrate more closely on the communication style and thought processes of the individual and tailor my approach to their specific needs. Delving deep appeals to me and so I take the neuro-atypical/special needs students where I teach which requires as much attention as you can give to perceive their unique perceptions.
 

entropie

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Lately I told my co-worker that I'll start with weight watchers and he asked me if I'll join a local group for that. And I asked him, why ? And he said that without joining a group, I'll never manage to put through with that. He's always like that, no matter what he does, maximum of social interaction needs to be involved. When they ask me what I am doing on the weekend and I tell them that I am building electronics in my garage, they immediantly interprete that as me being lonely having no friends thats why I have so, in their opinion, strange hobbies.

To me the problem is a different one. I dont think that people have a concious bias against introverts or unsocial people, I think most people are bored and lack hobbies, because they are stupid. And its sad that society will label you an introvert, if you actually have some fantasy and ideas on what to do with ur freetime, besides hanging out at social gatherings.

People like that have a huge curiosity factor. I have co-workers who need to know every detail of my life and need to immediantly relay the info to other people in chat. I have co-workers who meet in the morning for a social gathering and gossip the latest, tho they see themselves everyday and I am wondering if they dont bore the shit out of themselves already. To me its a mystery how someone can waste their precious lifetime to such a great extent.

I am living in a metropolis with about 12 Million people on roughly 1,8 acres of land. I was born here and its my home but I am pretty sure that I'll die agrarian. You cant even fart here without having engaged another social contact... :/
 

Salomé

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I am living in a metropolis with about 12 Million people on roughly 1,8 acres of land. I was born here and its my home but I am pretty sure that I'll die agrarian. You cant even fart here without having engaged another social contact... :/

lolwut?
No wonder you have no friends. (just kidding!)

I don't think it's helpful to say extroverts/sociable people are just stupid and have no hobbies. Any more than it's helpful for them to label introverts weird.

The introvert has the advantage of understanding extroversion to a greater extent than the extrovert does introversion. That should help us to be more tolerant of their peculiarities.
 

entropie

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lolwut?
No wonder you have no friends. (just kidding!)

I don't think it's helpful to say extroverts/sociable people are just stupid and have no hobbies. Any more than it's helpful for them to label introverts weird.

The introvert has the advantage of understanding extroversion to a greater extent than the extrovert does introversion. That should help us to be more tolerant of their peculiarities.

Helpful it isnt thats true, but saying that helps relieving frustration. :)

Regarding introverts having a better understanding of extroverts than vice versa is a fallacy in my opinion. The thing is that one does think, because of the internal world of the introvert, not shown to the outside, one cannot understand them without their very own help. Then again extroverts living their world externally do align their actions and thoughts according to their friends and groups they are active in and the introvert is not. So if extroverts and introverts by definition live in different dimensions from the start, the introvert has a as bad understanding of the extrovert as vice versa.

if you tho were to equal extroversion with "acting according to social norms" and by that define all extroverts as having an identical personality, not till then does the definition of introverts understanding extroverts but not vice versa make sense.

But without that nuance the difference between introvert and extrovert basically is only in the point of information gathering and exchange of views. And if you go a step further and say that "reading a book" basically is the same like "talking to a group or a person" because the book was written by a person, you can even finetune that. According to that the extrovert would be someone who lives in the present timeline, while the introvert could live anywhere. If the introvert was to only read books dealing with our present time, he'ldnt be any different from the extrovert.

So if you boil that all down to the basics, the whole difference between introvert and extrovert basically is a joke. And its only the people and their behaviour and tolerance towards themselves that boil this whole thing up. Like extroverts poking introverts to be more communicative or introverts poking extroverts to sit down and read a book. So in the end its my very well right to be frustrated about people wanting me to do group activities. Cause as an introvert people can gft for me, as long as I can work in my garage.
 

Salomé

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Your English is certainly better than my German, but I do struggle to understand you sometimes.
Are you claiming to be an introvert now?
Regarding introverts having a better understanding of extroverts than vice versa is a fallacy in my opinion. The thing is that one does think, because of the internal world of the introvert, not shown to the outside, one cannot understand them without their very own help. Then again extroverts living their world externally do align their actions and thoughts according to their friends and groups they are active in. So if extroverts and introverts by definition live in different dimensions from the start, the introvert has a as bad understanding of the extrovert as vice versa.
I say this from personal experience and because of the pathologization of introversion, which has been touched on here.

It was an introvert (Jung) who first proposed that introversion and extroversion were both equally valid ways of dealing with the world.

According to your own experience, it is extroverts who condemn your solitary activities.

It is almost impossible to survive as part of a social species without developing at least some accommodation to extroversion, whereas, it seems to be entirely possible for extreme extroverts to survive without really cultivating an inner life.
 

entropie

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Your English is certainly better than my German, but I do struggle to understand you sometimes.
Are you claiming to be an introvert now?

I say this from personal experience and because of the pathologization of introversion, which has been touched on here.

It was an introvert (Jung) who first proposed that introversion and extroversion were both equally valid ways of dealing with the world.

According to your own experience, it is extroverts who condemn your solitary activities.

It is almost impossible to survive as part of a social species without developing at least some accommodation to extroversion, whereas, it seems to be entirely possible for extreme extroverts to survive without really cultivating an inner life.

Yea I barely manage to express some things in english, I really need to broaden my vocabulary. :)

What I meant is that there are people out there, who demand from you to be social or you wont be accepted as an individual. So its the intolerance and egoism I condemn.

Extroversion/Introversion according to Jung for me can only be understood in combination with the respective function. So Ti for example means to delve with ones own thoughts deep into a specialized topic. While Te means the broad approach and the organisation of the tangible. On the other hand Si means leading ones live in accordance to a storehouse of experiences. While Ne means combining the uncombined... and so forth. So in mbti the terms E/I are a singularity and can only be understood in combination with the respective functions.

In real life tho, E/I means basically whether you like group activities or dont. Wikipedia gives me this definition of the terms:

Introversion: Introverts observe in groups rather than act. Typical characteristics are: calm, accurate, shy, reflective

Extroversion: Extraverts find group activities exhilarating: Typical characteristics are: talkative, assertive, active, energetic, dominant, enthusiastic, adventorous

According to that definition, I am extrovert.
If you were to ask tho all of my workmates, they'ld tell you that I am an introvert. Cause the things I am intrested in are totally unconventional and since I am never able to keep up with smalltalk about what soccer team won on the weekend, everybody who knows me a bit more, would call me an introvert.

Regarding business partners or people you only occasionally meet, which I do a lot in my job, I towards them try to mask my inherit unconventionally and have at least some small talk topics in the backhand. but thats only to keep the show going that is not me.

An thats why I wanted to make that clear here. I hate it to be thrown into the great bottle of extroverts and people who like social gatherings and need a lot of friends, cause I am not like that. When I am tho in a group, I want things to be done therefore I quite quickly become the groups alpha male. Except there is someone who does care for things to be done, then I fall in row cause I have no leadership ambitions. Primary goal for me is always to get out of the group as quickly as possible.

According to that you'ld prolly best type me intj. Thats what I keep scoring lately in nearly all mbti tests I do. But if I was to change my type on this forum to intj, they'ld come after me and hunt me with pitchforks and burn me in fire, therefore I am keeping that as a secret. In the end its knowledge to help only me getting a better understanding of myself, noone needs to know that really. :)

Bottom line for me is, I hardly see myself fitting into the E/I distinction, nor see I myself fitting 100% with an mbti type. I dunno, by studieing all this things, I have gathered so much more information about people and nuances to life that I think a personality is more than what mbti or an E/I distinction could tell you. I have come to the conclusion that if you box yourself into a category, you box your personal growth as well and limit it. Cause after boxing yourself certain things can become uninteresting for you and you try to create an image of yourself which someone else made up for you. Therefore I am trieing to psychologically get away from boxing anything and rather try to see people by an approximation of their traits and treat them like the situation requires.
 

Salomé

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Extroversion/Introversion according to Jung for me can only be understood in combination with the respective function. So Ti for example means to delve with ones own thoughts deep into a specialized topic. While Te means the broad approach and the organisation of the tangible. On the other hand Si means leading ones live in accordance to a storehouse of experiences. While Ne means combining the uncombined... and so forth. So in mbti the terms E/I are a singularity and can only be understood in combination with the respective functions.
Not really. Jung defined extroversion and introversion independently of functions. These were refinements to the basic model.
If you look at later work by people like Eysenck and the Big 5 model, E/I is the only concept that has usefully been retained.

We know that there is a biological basis for E/I, not so the cognitive functions.

In real life tho, E/I means basically whether you like group activities or dont.
This is just misinformation about E/I, not what it really means. It is the misinformation that articles like the one in the OP are trying to undo.

Introversion: Introverts observe in groups rather than act. Typical characteristics are: calm, accurate, shy, reflective

Extroversion: Extraverts find group activities exhilarating: Typical characteristics are: talkative, assertive, active, energetic, dominant, enthusiastic, adventorous

According to that definition, I am extrovert.
According to that definition, I can be either, depending upon the circumstance. However, I know in my bones that I am an introvert. Effecting typically extrovert behaviours does not change that.

According to that you'ld prolly best type me intj. Thats what I keep scoring lately in nearly all mbti tests I do. But if I was to change my type on this forum to intj, they'ld come after me and hunt me with pitchforks and burn me in fire, therefore I am keeping that as a secret. In the end its knowledge to help only me getting a better understanding of myself, noone needs to know that really. :)
It sounds to me like you are suffering from the poor perception of introversion which is forcing you to adopt a type which doesn't actually fit. Just because you think it's "better".

Which gets back to the purpose this thread.
 

entropie

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Not really. Jung defined extroversion and introversion independently of functions. These were refinements to the basic model.
If you look at later work by people like Eysenck and the Big 5 model, E/I is the only concept that has usefully been retained.

We know that there is a biological basis for E/I, not so the cognitive functions.

Ya but just because we know something that doesnt mean its true. I am highly critical of seeing E or I as biological, I'ld be very careful in making such a statement. From my personal experience I've lived thru phases of high extroversion and through phases of high introversion, there wasnt really a clear line to me. There are times I'ld clearly say I am an E and times I'ld clearly say I am an I. There may be some truth to a biological connection but to prove that is as difficult as for example proving if homosexuality is nature or nurture.

This is just misinformation about E/I, not what it really means. It is the misinformation that articles like the one in the OP are trying to undo.
Well the op talks explicitly as well about social gatherings, so its not fully unuseful information. The social dynamic is way underestimated in all social or personality sciences imo. Those pseudo sciences can be very linear and look at the individuum as being autarkic. Thats a huge mistake in my eyes.

It sounds to me like you are suffering from the poor perception of introversion which is forcing you to adopt a type which doesn't actually fit. Just because you think it's "better".

Which gets back to the purpose this thread.

I did not understand that.
If you mean I have a poor perception of introversion, then I ask you, who defined what is a good perception ? Maybe I am an introverted extrovert, cause I have learnt about the world myself and not from only books but then created my own world out of it ?! :D
 
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