Regret vs. remorse

[Giggly]

Is there a difference between remorse and regret?

 

[Giggly]

Maybe one is when you wished you wouldn't have done something and feel bad about it.... and the other is when you feel bad about what you did but still would have done the same thing??? I made those up and don't know if they apply and if they do which is which.

 

[Randomnity]

From my understanding remorse implies a feeling of guilt/wrongdoing whereas regret doesn't (necessarily).

(e.g. you might feel regret about taking the wrong college course and remorse about kicking the neighbour's cat, or something)

Also I think remorse might be a subcategory of regret. I don't think you would feel remorse without regret, but you could definitely feel regret without remorse.

 

[Such Irony]

I agree with Randomnity's interpretation. I see remorse as having some ethical underpinnings. Like you did something that worthy of feeling shame. You did something that harmed someone physically or emotionally. Regret to me doesn't have the same ethical issue. Its more a case that you made a decision that personally didn't suit you as well but there was nothing wrong with that decision from a purely ethical standpoint. For example, I regret taking job A over job B but I don't feel remorse about it. I just happened to find that job B would have personally suited me better than job A.

 

[Qlip]

Hmm, maybe Randomnity right, I hadn't ever thought of it. The word remorse gives me the the feeling something not yet internally resolved, while regret is something unadressable. But that may just be purely internal associations (remorse->morose, regret->forget).

 

[FDG]

Regret -> You wish you would have done something you didn't.

Remorse -> You wish you wouldn't have done something you did.

 

[Coriolis]

I agree with Randomnity's interpretation. I see remorse as having some ethical underpinnings. Like you did something that worthy of feeling shame.

Yes. To me, regret involves little if any emotion. It is simply the recognition that one made a poor choice, which could be based on purely objective grounds. Remorse suggests one feels bad about it, hence the ethical or moral implications.

 

[Santosha]

without looking up the definitions and just going off the common meaning i would attach i would say
remorse - feeling it was wrong
regret- thinking it was wrong

but i am entirely prepared to be wrong, lol.

 

[TenebrousReflection]

Yes. To me, regret involves little if any emotion. It is simply the recognition that one made a poor choice, which could be based on purely objective grounds. Remorse suggests one feels bad about it, hence the ethical or moral implications.

Very interesting question and responses. To me, regret can be a deeply felt emotion, so when I tell someone I regret something, I feel like I'm sharing how I feel emotionally about it, but if its common for others to not associate emotion with regret, thats a pretty big communication gap (I want others to know its something I feel, not an intellectual conclusion) - perhaps I am using regret when I should be using remorse, but regret can be either a verb or a noun and remorse can only be used as a noun (as far as I know) - it does not sound right to say "I really remorse not having done that".

 

[Coriolis]

After thinking about this more, I can see where regret might include emotion, but at most emotion directed at oneself. This might be disappointment in oneself, frustration, even wistfulness over an opportunity lost through a bad decision.

Remorse seems much more externally directed, and probably applies more to situations in which one's bad decision affected others rather than (just) oneself.

 

[crimsonhaze]

I think regret is more on just that. Regretting your actions but not exactly feeling sorry for them. If given the chance you'd probably do it all over again. Or regret can also mean that you should have said "i love you" to that special person instead of letting him/her walk out on you.

Remorse on the other hand is feeling sorry for what you did, feeling guilty. Sincerely feeling guilty and also sincerely feeling sorry. Like losing someone while in the midst of a fight.

 

[Skip Foreplay]

This isn't for us to decide. Maybe the conversation will be more useful if we had the definitions to start with. Then we could ask more questions about the consequences. From Webster:

re·morse

1. deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; compunction.
2. Obsolete: pity; compassion.

Interesting, I have never head of the second definition at all.

regret

1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

Apparently, remorse has a necessary emotional component that is not absolutely necessary in regret, though regret is coupled at least with the sense of something lost, which I would argure need not be emotional.