Made.to feel like a failurr

[Mole]

We fail when we don't carry out our cultural imperatives. And failure can be disorientating and painful, particularly in a country that hates losers.

Fortunately I live in a country that loves losers. For instance our national hero, Ned Kelly, was a loser.

However failing to carry out our cultural imperatives gives us the oportunity to discover our real self.

Our real self is just waiting to be discovered under all those failed cultural imperatives.

 

[wildflower]

i remember hearing some radio advice lady say that your 20s are really a time to try different things and try to figure out your life as far as career, relationships and where you live. she said it really is a difficult time for a lot of people because things are so up in the air in their lives. i wish i'd known that when i was in my 20s. i felt a lot of pressure like i was supposed to have it together right away and i so didn't.

 

[FDG]

It's likely that people who are doing objectively well are feeling like shit about their lives, aswell. If that's of any consolation.

 

[King sns]

Yes. Some people need to point it out. If they are doing better than you financially or in their love life or career- those things are part of their identity. Just let them point out that you're not a human doing- happens to make me feel a bit better.

 

[KDude]

25 still no direction no degree and people being like well what have you been doing. Fine I'm a failure but do people have to point it out?

I'm in the same boat. I do what I want though. But if that is what YOU want, go for it. But pressure from the outside should be tuned out. Even the "looming" kind of influences within culture as a whole. All of the subliminal messages that tell you what and what won't make you a great person. Just shut it all out. They're just one aspect of existence, that sometimes, people fool themselves is the ONLY aspect of existence, and they fancy themselves promoters of all of this bullshit.. like there's only one path to a valid lifestyle, and they can't resist bothering other people to live up to all of it. But history has always shown many paths.

 

[FDG]

You also need to consider that sometimes people just want to tell you about their lives to strike up conversation, or simply because they like what they're doing and they're going to do. There might not be any underyling attempt at making you feel inferior.

 

[prplchknz]

You also need to consider that sometimes people just want to tell you about their lives to strike up conversation, or simply because they like what they're doing and they're going to do. There might not be any underyling attempt at making you feel inferior.

no my brother has actually yelled at me because i haven't figured it out yet

 

[prplchknz]

I told my psychiatrist about what my brother said, and she reccomended I write him a letter and not send it. she also pointed out that she went back to school at 38.

 

[Mole]

Dear INFP, failure is like a seed in a compost heap - we don't know what will sprout.

 

[mrcockburn]

Ok....looks like you're banned for some reason, but if you or anyone else in a similar situation is reading this...

Sometimes it's better to wait until you find something that is for sure a fit for you rather than to hastily force yourself into a mold young in life.

At 17, I went off to college, dead SET on pursuing accounting because I didn't want to waste any time, and wanted to be practical.

Result? Wasting ALL four years in a major I hate, will NOT end up using, fucked up my GPA, and cost me money.

Fortunately, I've started my own business in something totally unrelated (a boutique marketing firm), and am looking at expanding to NYC. I probably would have started off with this business even better if I had the appropriate formal degrees, but my field is more dependent on experience, talent, and knowing the right people than it is on formal credentials. I have partners and employees with credentials anyhow, though.

The only thing holding me back from really getting the show on the road?


COLLEGE.



So don't stress yourself out - I assume you've been working if you weren't in college, so you're still going to be in great shape.