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What causes people to tell lies?

Rail Tracer

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I ask that question, but I'll also ask another question in relation to that question. Why do people tell lies when you want the truth of the matter, even if it is blunt, and even if it'll hurt yourself by that truth?

What I am wondering about is why fabricate something when I want you to tell the truth about something. I'd rather be hurt now than be hurt many times more in the future. Why do some people go to great lengths to fabricate a lie or hide something that could potentially improve the other person?

If someone came up to me with a sincere question, I would be willing to tell the truth. That is, knowing that that person wants truth without fabrication or lies to begin with.
 

Qlip

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Well. That's pretty complicated. Sometimes people ask for the truth, but don't actually want it. Some people want the truth, but can't handle it. Sometimes the act of telling the truth will change things in the way the answerer doesn't wish it to. Even if the asker wants to know the truth and can handle it, sometimes it is too intense for the answerer to tell the truth.
 

kyuuei

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I think 80% of the lies I tell are more half truths.. Not saying the entire story, to sway it one way or the other. 100% of the time that I do that, it is solely because I feel it isn't anyone's (or that particular person's at least) business.

As for why we're conditioned to lie even though people want the truth? Most of the time, people have an idea of the "truth" they're about to hear.. when they hear something drastically different, they aren't prepared for it, and thus react in a negative way. So as we continue to see that pattern, we soften it and mold it into what we THINK they want, which ends up with better reactions.

For example... Crappy parents dont want to hear that their kid is screwed up because their parenting was shit. Even if it was.
 

Redbone

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Why do people tell lies when you want the truth of the matter, even if it is blunt, and even if it'll hurt yourself by that truth?

The liar may consider sparing a person's feelings of greater value than telling them the truth. Or they may not be able to tolerate the consequences of telling the truth such as blame, guilt, explanations, emotional backlash and what-not. They may also do it to maintain an advantage over the other person who doesn't know the truth.
Why do some people go to great lengths to fabricate a lie or hide something that could potentially improve the other person?

Hmm...pretty much the same answers as above.
 

ygolo

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The main reason I lie is to protect my privacy. But lately, privacy has become less and less important to me.
 

jenocyde

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A lot of people lie to protect their own ego, not yours. Meaning that if they revealed the truth, they would fall down a peg or two in your eyes. I know that I sometimes withhold information so I don't look as bad.
 

entropie

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Would you tell your five year old daughter the truth, if she asked: "will we always be together Dad ?"
 

StrawMan

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People have to be told lies, because people CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
 

Engineer

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Fear, mostly. Fear that other people will reject their advice, their critique, or react to the opinion harshly.
In other cases, fear of the consequences that would have otherwise been.
 

entropie

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Fear, mostly. Fear that other people will reject their advice, their critique, or react to the opinion harshly.
In other cases, fear of the consequences that would have otherwise been.

"Fear that other people will reject their advice, causes people to lie"

Bro thats epic :D
 

Kriash

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I think there are a variety of reasons why people lie. Some of those reasons could be

To protect themselves(This can include protecting personal information, ego, themselves from being hurt, and a myriad of other things)
To protect others(most commonly I think people believe that others can't handle the truth. Also relates to the first)
Because they can( also related; boredom)
Because they have a problem(like compulsive lying, or a personality disorder where lying occurs)

I'm sure there are more, but just a couple.
 
T

ThatGirl

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I believe there are only two factors for telling lies.

To avoid conflict, or increase status.

Most people who lie, have insecurities with one or the other.
 

Pinker85

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Everyone knows its the parasitic twin that never truly died connected to your spleen. God I'm so glad I got rid of my spleen and that pesky parasitic twin. Next on the list has to be the conniving goldfish that live in my eyeballs.
 

xisnotx

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According to Kant, people tell lies as a sort of "defense mechanism" in that if they were to tell the truth, they know they would come off in a worse light than they otherwise would, and it is therefore beneficial to tell a lie for the sake of themselves.

Also according to Kant, a person who asks about his own faults should expect nothing but lies from the answerer because a man knows his own faults better than anyone else and is impossible of taking criticism objectively. Therefore, the answerer has a sort of duty to lie..or rather, skirt the truth.

Kant, however, said that lying strips one of one's humanity.

I lie primarily because in that situation it seems to me to be the best thing to do. I'm hardly ever right though, yet it's a nasty habit I've developed. I also lie if someone asks a question that I don't think they are entitled to get an answer to.

Someone I don't know too well: "What's your favorite color?"
Me: *Lie*

Why? Because, my favorite color is a very personal choice, and has so many reasons for being my favorite color that if the person were to ask why that color was my favorite, I wouldn't feel comfortable explaining it. Also, if that person were to say they didn't like that color, I'd end up taking it personally..because my favorite color, to me, is a reflection of who I am, and therefor any negative judgement of that color will, irrationally of course, be taken as a negative judgement of me.

It's easier to just lie..and avoid conversations you would rather not have.
 

wildcat

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A lot of people lie to protect their own ego, not yours. Meaning that if they revealed the truth, they would fall down a peg or two in your eyes. I know that I sometimes withhold information so I don't look as bad.

Do you lie if you do not know the truth?
Consequently a lie cannot protect your ego.
Your lie protects the ego of the other.
 

uncommonentity

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People tell lies because telling lies is possible to someone who does not seek to find the truth themselves.
Why tell the truth to someone who is not interested in it?
I think people tell lies to people who don't care about them because it's no big deal in the end.
I think people tell lies to people who care about them to protect what they consider to be an inconvenient truth.

Defense.
 

Lord Guess

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People lie because it benefits them in some way to withhold the truth from you. Either because they don't want to deal with the other person's negative emotions, or because the consequences of the truth are much less beneficial than the consequences of lying.

Other times, people lie because they get in the habit of doing it. I used to be like that; I just learned that it's better not to be known as someone who lies a lot.
 

Giggly

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People don't only tell lies, people LIVE lies. It's quite pervasive. Things like self-delusion, fantasy, denial, naivety, ignorance etc etc. Some innocent, some not. This is where a lot of lies come from. I have fallen for it and have been guilty of it myself before.
 
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