Recurring Thoughts of Death

[Epiphany]

How common is this? Do you ever feel like you're not destined to live a long life in this world? I would say it crosses my mind on a weekly basis and is becoming more frequent. I'm not depressed or anything and it doesn't accompany feelings of dread or anxiety. I've lived a fairly decent life compared to a lot of people so it wouldn't be a terrible tragedy. Other than this recurring thought, I am mostly optimistic about my future. I have no desire to die and I don't consciously think about it, but this gut feeling keeps creeping back into my mind.

:dead1:

 

[Thalassa]

OCD.

 

[Epiphany]

OCD.

What? I know for a fact that I don't have OCD.

 

[Thalassa]

It's a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to have repetitive thoughts about death...especially if you're not actually depressed or suffering from panic attacks.

Whatever. I'm just trying to help.

You apparently want me to confirm that this "means" something. Maybe it does, or maybe you WANT to die and won't admit it to yourself.

 

[Epiphany]

It's a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to have repetitive thoughts about death...especially if you're not actually depressed or suffering from panic attacks.

Whatever. I'm just trying to help.

You apparently want me to confirm that this "means" something. Maybe it does, or maybe you WANT to die and won't admit it to yourself.

I don't want you to confirm the meaning of anything. I asked if it was common. I would prefer it if people wouldn't try to psychoanalyze others until they've undergone some thorough introspection themselves.

 

[Thalassa]

Um yeah just trying to help. Didn't know your thread had rules.

And I'm not sure what you mean about having gone through some introspection themselves. I'm presuming you did introspection perhaps before posting this, and I've had years of therapy.

Bye.

 

[Santosha]

Have you hit 30 yet? For some reason, at about 30 I started to really consider the reality of death. I can't say i ever really worried about it in my twenties or teens. But I've heard this is fairly common.

I also noticed that by the time I was 30 I had experienced more than a fluke of young people dying.. car accidents, drug-overdoses, suicide, crime, and even occasionally from health problems. If I had any questions about my own mortality this seemed to drive the point home.

I don't think it is neccessarily OCD, alot of people report that they think of death much more when they age, or when they are exposed to people they know well passing. I have also had strange fears like what you mention from time to time.. I wouldn't even say it's a fear.. more like "oh that would happen to me, i'd be that one person in 25k to have such and such happen" .. but I think this is actually coming from my E4 trait--- meaning that 4's tend to really focus on their differences, thus they probably pick up so called "patterns" of weird shit happening to them.. but it's not really a pattern in the scheme of things.. like weird stuff probably happens to other people just as much, if not more, but the 4 sees it more. Thus they go forward convinced that weird shit is bound to happen to them.. based on this self created pattern, and might find themselves saying stuff like "I've just always had a feeling I'd die young" or "I just always had a feeling that I might not be able to have children" or "I just always have a feeling I'd end up living in a different country".. etc.

Now, if your not a 4, and your not over 28-ish, and you haven't been exposed to someone close passing, or observed some type of death incident that really impacted you, or you haven't had some type of belief system you were holding onto really challenged.. then I have no idea why you might be doing this. Hopefully someone else has good ideas.

 

[SilkRoad]

Partly along the lines of what Huxley said, I would wonder if perhaps a significant number of people in your circle (either intimate circle, or wider acquaintances) have died. I've known loads of people who have died. The majority have been elderly, but particularly from the ages of 13-22 or so, a good many people in my family or in my family's circle of acquaintanceship died. These included deaths by cancer at a premature age, by tragic accidents, and by suicide. While only a few of these people were genuinely close to me, I've realised that this period in my life marked me forever. I wouldn't say I personally have recurrent thoughts of dying, but I have slightly morbid thoughts about how I'd rather be hit by a bus than have a slow painful death...and certainly, when a long time has gone by and no one I know has died, I find myself bracing for it. I expect it to happen.

I don't know if that relates at all but if you are very concerned about it, perhaps speak with a therapist if you are able to.

 

[Epiphany]

@Huxley: Interesting insight. I am a Type 4 and almost 28. I did have a life-altering shift in my values a couple of years ago that changed my perspective on the world, for better or worse. Occasionally, I hear of a young acquaintance passing away. My dad was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago too, which makes me wonder how long he will be here. I'm sure much of that contributes to it. It's usually a fleeting thought that comes out of nowhere and doesn't tremendously impact my mood, but keeps coming back. It's not specific or anything, just a feeling of finality.

 

[Epiphany]

[MENTION=7063]SilkRoad[/MENTION]: I can't say that I've lost a lot of people who were close to me, but it seems like there have been a lot of acquaintances in the last few years. I'm sure it's all relative.

 

[xisnotx]

You're far from the only one. To me, the questions surrounding death are the only ones that have enough merit to be seriously considered. What is it? What will it be like? Why not kill yourself? Why not die? Why not give your life up for a cause? etc etc Call it depression, ocd, or any other mental disorder..I've come to accept that me pondering death is just a fundamental part of who I am.

Ironically, for the most part at least, I don't want to die. I have 60-80 years left on this earth, barring unforeseen circumstances, and I plan on making it the best 60-80 years I possibly can..so that by the time I do die, if there is a sort of "death consciousness", I can at least tell myself that I did what I thought had to be done. This thought is one of the few that gives me some sort of inner peace, at least for a while.

 

[xisnotx]

Also..

Should I die on the train track, like Remo in Beatstreet
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me
My baby momma kissed me but she glad I'm gone
She knew me and her sista had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak,
call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak.
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin',
matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'.
[BANG]
(hey yo big...hey yo big)

We all get sick of talking, I think.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

How common is this? Do you ever feel like you're not destined to live a long life in this world? I would say it crosses my mind on a weekly basis and is becoming more frequent. I'm not depressed or anything and it doesn't accompany feelings of dread or anxiety. I've lived a fairly decent life compared to a lot of people so it wouldn't be a terrible tragedy. Other than this recurring thought, I am mostly optimistic about my future. I have no desire to die and I don't consciously think about it, but this gut feeling keeps creeping back into my mind.

:dead1:

omg...ur ded now

 

[entropie]

Never had them

 

[Santosha]

Never had them

What? I thought ENTP's were one of the most likely types to develop hypochondria tendencies with that dom Ne and inferior Si. Ofcourse hypochondria can lead to excessive thoughts of death. Didn't you even start a thread on hypochondria a while back?

 

[guesswho]

no, that was me.

This is so cool, everyone's getting banned.

 

[Such Irony]

How common is this? Do you ever feel like you're not destined to live a long life in this world? I would say it crosses my mind on a weekly basis and is becoming more frequent. I'm not depressed or anything and it doesn't accompany feelings of dread or anxiety. I've lived a fairly decent life compared to a lot of people so it wouldn't be a terrible tragedy. Other than this recurring thought, I am mostly optimistic about my future. I have no desire to die and I don't consciously think about it, but this gut feeling keeps creeping back into my mind.

:dead1:

I think about death a few times a day. Usually they are short-lived thoughts that move on to something more pleasant but when the thoughts are there, they can be intrusive. I don't have a death wish at all. In fact, I feel like I'll never be ready to die, that life is too short and there isn't enough time.

It's a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to have repetitive thoughts about death...especially if you're not actually depressed or suffering from panic attacks.

Whatever. I'm just trying to help.

You apparently want me to confirm that this "means" something. Maybe it does, or maybe you WANT to die and won't admit it to yourself.

I don't think so. I think its normal to think about death now and then. Doesn't mean OCD. If its constantly occupying your thoughts and you can't think of anything else, then it might be a problem.

Have you hit 30 yet? For some reason, at about 30 I started to really consider the reality of death. I can't say i ever really worried about it in my twenties or teens. But I've heard this is fairly common.

I've always accepted the reality of death, well before I hit 30. I think now I'm more acutely aware of the fact that time is limited but in my teens and 20's, I still thought about it now and then. I didn't just deny it like a lot of young people seem to do.

 

[Santosha]

no, that was me.

This is so cool, everyone's getting banned.

Pattern observed along with the influx of INTJ's.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I frequently "fantasize" about dying. Now, they are NOT suicidal thoughts of taking my own life. My thoughts of death are not self-inflicted ends. They're just stuff that I think about happening to me. In another thread on another board someone used the phrase "passive suicide", and descriptions such as falling vs. jumping out of window were cited as examples of this. I also think of freak accidents & random deadly circumstances.

These thoughts are NOT paranoia (I don't fear an accident), nor are they desires (I don't want an accident or to die), just contemplations. I feel quite detached when I consider them; almost soothed. Sometimes the sheer ridiculousness of them amuses me. It doesn't alter my behavior in anyway.

It amounts to stuff like: I'm driving & I imagine driving off of an embankment instead of going with the turn of the road. Or I'm walking next door to my parent's house & I imagine a wild dog mauling me. In the less silly daydreams of death, I will get this sense of peace from thinking about it. The car one seems to relate to this dream my mom had that she told me about, so that I began to associate this image of driving a car off an embankment/cliff as a sort of liberating action.

 

[wolfy]

I used to have an image of me being stabbed in the gut come to mind. It wasn't scary, more interested me as to why that particular image entered my mind, I don't know anyone that has been stabbed. I remember reading about being stabbed in Catcher in The Rye and the description of a cold sensation stuck with me. So, yeah... funny, that one.