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Self censorship (on the internet vs daily life)

Octarine

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The topic of self censorship recently came up in a previous thread and I am interested in thoughts on self censorship on the internet and in particular on internet forums.

Now there are many reasons for and against self censorship in particular circumstances. I believe that most people understand that although free speech is a worthwhile right, it can often be inappropriate to actually do so in certain circumstances.

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But there can be a variety of motivations for self censorship, for example:

Lack of willingness to have your thoughts challenged, not just due to insecurities in ones opinion, but because it may challenge your overall worldview.

Not willing to waste your time because you don't think the effort of sharing your views will be worthwhile to others.

Not willing to put your full view for fear of damaging your popularity, or offending others.

Fear of being singled out by other members, (or those in authority).

Shyness, or concerns about privacy for yourself or others.
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These reasons can be valid, or invalid depending on the circumstance. On the other hand, there are often occasions when it may have been preferable to self-censor, for the above reasons.



Anyway, some of the questions I have in mind are:

Do your reasons for either expressing yourself, or censoring yourself differ between the internet and your day to day life?
Do you express yourself more in one of the domains?
Are there (important) values or topics that you are only wiling to express in just one of the domains? (You don't have to be specific about this.)
Do you discuss different topics because your peer groups are different in different domains?

Additionally, when we communicate in person, there are a different set of barriers than when we communicate on the internet, especially if we do not already know that person well. How does this lead to differences in your communication?
 
T

ThatGirl

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I was just saying earlier, that I do not use as many words IRL. Why? It is about how I interact with others, where they stand, and how I chose to react.

On the internet, I am localized to thought alone, which can appear more abrasive and direct. It is not a form of censorship, but honesty. Most of the things I say on the internet I would not say IRL because there is no need to. I can just work around it.
 

Silveresque

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Do your reasons for either expressing yourself, or censoring yourself differ between the internet and your day to day life?

No.

Do you express yourself more in one of the domains?

Yes; as an introvert, I feel more comfortable expressing myself via internet than in person.

Are there (important) values or topics that you are only wiling to express in just one of the domains? (You don't have to be specific about this.)

Sort of. It's not that I'm not willing, but I've already revealed more about myself and my personal beliefs on this site than I have in real life. It's partially because I can express myself better in writing, but also because in real life I'm under a lot of pressure to conform and only talk about things "normal people" would talk about.
 

Thalassa

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Do your reasons for either expressing yourself, or censoring yourself differ between the internet and your day to day life?


Yes. I express myself much more fluidly and openly in writing, unless I'm talking to someone I can trust. So yes I express myself more and censor myself less on-line.

Do you express yourself more in one of the domains?


It depends. IRL I have done adult entertainment and fetish work, so I've expressed myself quite openly IRL, including through dancing and drama, which I did growing up, as well as through singing. I also express myself quite openly to people I trust or to people I know well.

But on a large scale, I express myself more openly in writing. I have much a much more quiet personality IRL in some regards, through tactical intelligence more than anything i.e. to avoid bullshit and because I know saying something won't do any good,and to avoid certain kinds of people. But I can be very direct when I want to be or when I think it will do some good. I'm relatively quiet but not especially shy. I've always been a fairly expressive individual.

Are there (important) values or topics that you are only wiling to express in just one of the domains? (You don't have to be specific about this.)

I'm much more openly political in writing, much more openly critical and opinionated...but this is not to say I never go on rants IRL, because I do. I don't like repression.


Additionally, when we communicate in person, there are far less barriers than when we communicate in person,


ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? There are many more barriers IRL. Like "I don't want to put up with the consequences of confronting this person" or "I should be polite to this person because their beliefs obviously differ from mine" or "It would be stupid to be too blunt in this situation."

especially if we do not already know that person well. How does this lead to differences in your communication?

Like I said, I'm much more open in writing, unless I know you well or trust you, or feel the situation calls for me to be direct for whatever tactical reason.
 

Thalassa

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I also take no pleasure in hurting anyone's feelings unnecessarily IRL so that can be easier to gauge in person, like I can see how "nice" or "fragile" someone is IRL and I act accordingly. If I think I would crush a person who doesn't deserve it, I keep my mouth shut no matter what I'm thinking.

However, I can also be very direct with strangers IRL, depending, and yet I can be more understanding, say of the cashier at Target or my server at a restaurant, because I empathize with what their jobs are like, so I tend to be overly polite to people in customer service out of a sense of understanding that they are working and that some people talk down to them like crap for no good reason.

I'm a weird mix of sweet and nasty anywhere I go.
 

Octarine

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There are many more barriers IRL. Like "I don't want to put up with the consequences of confronting this person" or "I should be polite to this person because their beliefs obviously differ from mine" or "It would be stupid to be too blunt in this situation."

I see your point. IRL, there is obviously much more scope for awkwardness and retaliation and other consequences.

What I was trying to say was that when we communicate IRL, we are not just communicating with our voice (such as on the phone), or carefully worded writing. For me, body language is necessary for complete communication, if I am talking on the phone for example, then I tend to be more shy unless I know that person well and I can predict the missing aspects of communication. You also get direct feedback when speaking vs communicating via writing.

In terms of communicating IRL, if we are not communicating openly, then it is us who are putting up the barriers, rather than limits due to the mode of communication.
 

Thalassa

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In terms of communicating IRL, if we are not communicating openly, then it is us who are putting up the barriers, rather than limits due to the mode of communication.

I disagree. I try to read people. I don't communicate openly with people who can't take it or who don't deserve it. I'm too much for some people, this much I know, and some people are so kind, so gentle, so oblivious that they don't deserve my crass observations or real thoughts.

Maybe I'm putting up barriers of my own, but often it's for their own good...but sometimes it's for my own. Like, "this person is a jackass if I say something then xyz will occur, and that will not benefit me in the slightest, so I should just nod and smile."
 

INTP

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when im with strangers, i spend so much time thinking if i should say something in my mind or not, that it would be weird if i said it when i made my decision to say it, since its not relevant to what people are talking about now.. that is if im not drunk(in this case i might say some totally stupid things, because im not censoring that much, or forgot to censor at times) or stoned and if its not 1 on 1 conversation. this is basically the reason im quiet around strangers, especially in group settings. some interesting topic might make me not having to think about censoring that much, which allows me to speak.

but with close friends its totally different, i dont have to think if i should say something or not, so i might come off quite extroverted at times.

on the internets i dont see it as censorship that much, more like choosing the words correctly
 

Lily flower

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I put a lot more of my authentic self out there on the internet. I'm also much more willing to disagree with someone or challenge them. However, I do censor myself in the sense that I realize that everything I put out there is out there permanantly on the public record, and I don't fool myself into thinking that I am completely anonymous.
 

Lily flower

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I have noticed that on the forums, I get misunderstood more than I do in real life. That is interesting, because you would think that choosing your words correctly (instead of just blabbing at the mouth) would get better results.
 

Totenkindly

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I have noticed that on the forums, I get misunderstood more than I do in real life. That is interesting, because you would think that choosing your words correctly (instead of just blabbing at the mouth) would get better results.

I think that's a benefit of the Internet. Unfortunately, people lose out on other dimensions -- personal relationship (so the audience interprets your words correctly), body language, tone of voice, ability to add immediate clarification or change in midstream if it's clear the audience is looking at you like you have two heads, etc.

It's possible to say the exact same thing with two completely tones of voices, to completely different effect. Online, people have to guess... often based on a limited record of who you are.

Plus, since there's an automatic detachment, the normal rules of civility don't necessarily reply; people just are responding to words and more apt to do and say things they would not a IRL convo. There's no real permanent, real-life-impacting outcome for not investing in trying to interpret someone's words correctly.
 

Qlip

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I'm near about the same on the internet as irl. But I don't have a lot of people around irl that I can bring as varied subject matter out. I am more prone to vent on the internet, but I'm not usually looking for an argument when I do that, just dumping.
 

Viridian

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I feel more comfortable expressing some things (esp. "geeking out" or expressing appreciation :D) on this forum, since I feel like I'm being judged much less and don't depend as much on my clumsy body language. :blush: However, I censor my knee-jerk thoughts in both domains; the internet is a wonderful vehicle for those who like to word their responses more carefully, IMO. :yes:
 
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Not thinking all that highly of the quality of posts in the sections I'm drawn toward limits my participation. Preference for input over output.

No more expressive online or not, but def won't go scrambling through a mall taz style getting into shouting matches over someone's e-gram.

Also not a fan of people saying or claiming they or others have hurt feelings in order to generate leverage in any setting.

Don't automatically respect anyone, which, taking my mildly austere, passively probing nature into account, can occasionally rub them the wrong way.

Online forums have provided instinctual certain instinctual subtypes, particularly sx/sps across the enneaboard, an artificial playground so to speak. Where I think those directed surely benefit from their passion and drive to an extent, they slip into the habit of substituting any pre-existing group reasoning for or crudely merging with one-on-one reasoning to the extent that others' basic rights can be trashed and turned against them in the name of "perfection". Interesting dynamic.

Someone's gotta do it, or rather, be the product of systematized circumstance. Just not at all desirable in the workplace.

Ideally though, human expression, language should be seen more objectively--one of the primo skeleton keys for universal discovery. The sooner we, as a species, learn to appreciate that everything functions perfectly (often on a spectacular level) without interference regardless of how each of us individually perceive, the better. Feed your curiosity!
 
G

Glycerine

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I HATE offending people (almost to a neurotic extent) , don't like debating, am afraid of looking "stupid" and for some reason, assume when someone debates with me, I must automatically be wrong (as illogical as it seems) even though many times, I can spot logical inconsistencies after the exchange (I suck at on the spot debating). This all shows IRL and on the forum to the same degree. That's part of the reason why I can be very self censored.
 

Silveresque

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I HATE offending people (almost to a neurotic extent) , don't like debating, am afraid of looking "stupid" and for some reason, assume when someone debates with me, I must automatically be wrong (as illogical as it seems) even though many times, I can spot logical inconsistencies after the exchange (I suck at on the spot debating). This all shows IRL and on the forum to the same degree. That's part of the reason why I can be very self censored.

I'm the exact same way! :yes:
 

lunalum

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It's more of a difference between anonymity vs publicity than it is internet vs real life for me. When things are made public, there are stronger consequences (losing one's job or ability to be employed, getting locked in a tower for all eternity, getting slapped hard across the face). This is not to say however that I'm not concerned at all with hurting the person on the other side of the screen in anonymous internet interactions, but it's easier to express myself a lot more fully in such an environment when fear for one's physical well-being is no longer an issue.
 
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