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Best Body Language Tips

R

Riva

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Agree with keeping eye contact but not on staring.

And CzeCze, when a girl stares at a guy, it kind of turns thing on and the guy feels flattered. (It could also apply to girl staring at a girl on a date.)

But when a guy states at a girl, it looks scary and creepy. Because the natural look of men are manly/aggressive/threatening.

Whereas a natural look of a female is feminine/not threatening.

On a first date, lean in (way in) to the person directly across from them and stare intensely into your date's eyes. Don't blink. Never blink. Open your eyes as WIDE as possible so s/he knows you are awake and paying attention. Don't smile, laugh, or otherwise react to what s/he is saying. That is rude and takes the attention off of them. Just keep staring. HARD.

SUCCESS!

4829723_the-wheezy-waiter-staring-contest-jpg.jpeg
 

highlander

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The best tip about body language is to leave it in the unconscious.

For once we become conscious of body language, it is no longer authentic and becomes phoney.

Conscious body language is phoney, for phonies.

Yeah. I don't agree either. It's part of how we communicate. It's like saying don't develop interpersonal skills and diplomacy because it makes you fake. Some people are naturally gifted with this (reading and expressing) and some are not.
 

Lily flower

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Agree with keeping eye contact but not on staring.

And CzeCze, when a girl stares at a guy, it kind of turns thing on and the guy feels flattered. (It could also apply to girl staring at a girl on a date.)

But when a guy states at a girl, it looks scary and creepy. Because the natural look of men are manly/aggressive/threatening.

Whereas a natural look of a female is feminine/not threatening.



4829723_the-wheezy-waiter-staring-contest-jpg.jpeg

Wow. That look would make me run.
:happy2:

But I have felt very flattered by a guy holding eye contact with me, and I have also enjoyed catching them staring at me. (Except for the creepy ones, there are some of those)
 

wolfy

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A really interesting one I read somewhere is that a slightly delayed smile seems more genuine. About authenticity, I think there is some middle ground where you are conscious and honestly expressing yourself through your body.

It's also fun to play it up and exaggerate.
 

Lady_X

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Agree with keeping eye contact but not on staring.

And CzeCze, when a girl stares at a guy, it kind of turns thing on and the guy feels flattered. (It could also apply to girl staring at a girl on a date.)

But when a guy states at a girl, it looks scary and creepy. Because the natural look of men are manly/aggressive/threatening.

Whereas a natural look of a female is feminine/not threatening.



4829723_the-wheezy-waiter-staring-contest-jpg.jpeg

not all guys are creepy and threatening man.
 

Lady_X

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Yeah. I don't agree either. It's part of how we communicate. It's like saying don't develop interpersonal skills and diplomacy because it makes you fake. Some people are naturally gifted with this (reading and expressing) and some are not.

i understand that and could even imagine telling someone how they are being perceived if i believed it to be different than how they truly feel....maybe even offering suggestions on how to modify it.
i on the otherhand am probably way more expressive than most people are used to...so they likely misread things because they're comparing it to themselves or other people.
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

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I think the best thing you can tell from body language is mood and intention. I divided it up into 5 "types," neutral, submissive, dominant-aggressive, calm, and agitated. I made a table.

fRFge.png


Edit: Title should say "5 types." mybad
 
Last edited:

Lady_X

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you made a fucking table!!! omg... haha :laugh:
 

Lady_X

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hahaha it's hilarious to me. :D
 

CzeCze

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I was totally kidding about staring. That was meant to be a joke. :alttongue:
Because if you actually followed it:


Yeeeeeah. Pretty much.

I think looking into the eyes of someone for the first time can be very powerful, like really making contact. It's very effective in those first few seconds to gauge attraction and set a spark. Or to determine wariness, interest, confidence, reservedness/extroversion etc. You can often literally see when your date's expectations have been exceeded, met, or NOT (lolol) by that first look. It sets the tone.

When I think about my love etc. life, I often remember the first time our eyes met and how it made me feel. Except for my first gf, because she never even turned her head to look at me properly (we were in a group meeting) so she thought I was a white girl until we met each other again. Bah. She was an INFP - TOTAL Se FAIL!
 

Lily flower

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She thought you were a girl? Oh, that is totally something that I would do! (not notice my surroundings to that extent)
 

Mole

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Practice and Spontaneity

Just as conscious attempts to be courteous, friendly, knowledgeable, or helpful are phony as well. Best to be your authentic rude, ignorant, obstructionist self.

This is actually a good point, for if the aim is spontaneity, we want the aim of spontaneous empathy and creativity, and we don't want spontaneous rudeness, ignorance and obstruction.

And just as we must practise our scales on the piano before we can play spontaneously, we need to consciously practise empathy and creativity before they become second nature and so spontaneous.
 

Lady_X

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She thought you were a girl? Oh, that is totally something that I would do! (not notice my surroundings to that extent)

um...she IS a girl...haha
 

Randomnity

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She thought you were a girl? Oh, that is totally something that I would do! (not notice my surroundings to that extent)

lol, the wrong adjective is white, not girl.
 

Totenkindly

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Yes, CzeCze is green. (Didn't anyone notice before? Se fail!)

RE: Body language... I only use it to express things I already feel. So to me it's not a lie in the least (sorry to those of you who insist on labeling it as manipulative!) -- I was having issues because people were MISREADING my intentions and feelings and commitments to them because I wasn't providing the proper social cues to convey my true intent.

I mean, really -- I'm INTP, for many years I only lived as a mind and my voice was pretty monotone and very little came out. I actually had to practice as an adult in front of a mirror to teach myself how to smile. (It took me about three weeks to get it right; now it's natural.) INTPs naturally sever the connection between body and emotion/mind in order to maintain balance/neutrality.... but it creates problems for us.
 

thisGuy

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Start with indicators of open/closed body language. Once you establish the person's basic attitude towards you, all the finer details will fall into place eventually.
 

Fluffywolf

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Rappers may be cool, but walking like them doesn't make you cool.

[MENTION=7]Jennifer[/MENTION], I think the body/mind seperation is more of a problem for female INTP's than it is for us male INTP's.

I can't smile (I just lift one corner of my mouth), I don't do expressions, my eyes are almost non stop at half past seven in the morning. But it isn't really a problem for me, people say I look calm and stable, manly even! But people have never seen it as negative. But I imagine that doesn't roll if you're a woman, where people almost expect too see vividity. Where lack there off is seen as negative. I'd say women are expected to be chaotic, in a sense. And if that chaos isn't present, something must be wrong with you! :p
 
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