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So how does one truly achieve happiness?

esidebill

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You don't. It's not in our human "balance" to truly achieve happiness. Sorry.
 

King sns

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Be aware of yourself and others, and what you want and need at any given time.
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
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You don't. It's not in our human "balance" to truly achieve happiness. Sorry.

Yeah. Sucks. I was hoping to start more of a discussion, as I am not the most eloquent or deep of members.

Take Buddhism, for example...the philosophy attempts to eradicate unhappiness and suffering through the Eightfold Path. Maybe they've got something there...
 

esidebill

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Yeah. Sucks. I was hoping to start more of a discussion, as I am not the most eloquent or deep of members.

Take Buddhism, for example...the philosophy attempts to eradicate unhappiness and suffering through the Eightfold Path. Maybe they've got something there...

An interesting idea is the Greek concept of teleios where you are not complete until you die. The idea is to not be one sided or addicted and to be complete. Thats my kind of idea.
 

Oaky

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Attitude. Really all there is to it. Willfully choose to be happy.
 

skylights

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i was truly happy about one year ago. stressed and happy happy happy.

i'm going with maslow on this one. i think i was self-actualizing.

hierarchy.gif


right now i think i'm stuck at esteem. not that the model is perfect, or the solution to everything, but i think it's a good enough proxy.

i think to be truly happy i need to feel secure in my home, have a good social group, be on good terms with my family, have a profession that i am proud of, have some kind of spiritual connection, and have some freedom in my days. having a crush to dote on doesn't hurt, either :)

and importantly i think being happy doesn't preclude ups and downs, nor do ups and downs end happiness. but if you're living with love and light, then it's still ok, even if awful things happen. maybe you're not happy then but you're ok and you'll be again eventually.

esidebill said:
An interesting idea is the Greek concept of teleios where you are not complete until you die. The idea is to not be one sided or addicted and to be complete. Thats my kind of idea.

huh. cool. i haven't heard of that. i'm going to go look that up.
 

Thalassa

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Different things make people happy, but for me I'm happy when I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be, like I'm in a certain place in the universe and it has nothing to do with having good credit or any kind of external achievement.

I'm really happy when my life is at a slow pace and I can go outside a lot and there are beautiful days and I can take walks and go out to lunch or get coffee if I want, and listen to music and talk to people and be around pets (especially cats.)

I think being in a relationship would make my satisfaction complete, but I can be happy as long as my basic needs are met and I feel content and like I'm learning and growing. I can be happy without a relationship even though a good relationship makes me happy. You have to be able to be happy on your own or you'll never be completely happy.

I also like feeling in control of my own time. I really love being able to work from home.

But yeah happiness to me feels like just enjoying the good things about each day.

Of course, some days are really stressful and they suck.

That's why general contentment and satisfaction should be the goal because constant happiness isn't realistic.

For me, yeah, it comes from relatively simple things, but my needs have to be met. The feeling of "not striving" makes me happy. Being able to chill and just live.
 

Thalassa

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Yeah. Sucks. I was hoping to start more of a discussion, as I am not the most eloquent or deep of members.

Take Buddhism, for example...the philosophy attempts to eradicate unhappiness and suffering through the Eightfold Path. Maybe they've got something there...

I prefer Taoism to Buddhism. It doesn't try to deny drives or needs or wants. It's more about being able to appreciate simple things and being in tune with The Way.
 

Synapse

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Change the point of reference of achieving happiness towards joy, gratitude and fun. At which point that elusive happiness expression changes from a destination point (death) to a journey point (life) of loving life more and more.
 

LightSun

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Part I.
(1) This happens to be (finding) one's gift, (2) discovering about any illusion holding us back and ultimately find (3) a balance of doing what you are capable off. The entire time you will be juggling life and in danger of being swept to the vortex of falsehoods which is not the true self.




"I believe we have a special gift. I believe if we followed it we would be more complete, and whole as well as more fully healed in all our areas of life. I feel that we get too many messages that conflict with our inner self that is in need of discovering. False desire then comes into play. It is a false desire of expectations put on us. Somehow, we have to realize this inner voice and be true to it. Thus, we become fulfilled, happy, and content. I believe each of us has a gift. Doing this gift, one achieves a sense of happiness as well as utter timelessness.

Finding one's gift will allow the spirit the freedom to soar. This is what life this life is. Find your gift and thus you find yourself. I happen to have a penchant for writing as well as an oratory skill when giving speeches. Doing your gift benefitting the world upon which we live on called earth. Reaching a heightened state of consciousness called flow.


For each of us are interrelated with every other life form. Combining our gifts can also produce the added benefit of a byproduct called synergy or the synergism of which the sum is greater than the parts. This experience is as rapture, which is beyond heavenly words to describe. Only for one moment do we feel like we have experienced a little slice of heaven on earth. It is confounding as it is in effect beyond description. Too many times we may ignore the inner universe, searching for peace, as well happiness when these lay within us. If one are miserable inside, then all the money, & riches, all the members of the opposite sex (or whichever sex one is attracted to, fame, material possessions, food, and travel will not soothe the soul, most certainly not for long. It is a search for inner peace that is a mantra of an INF/ENF. This inner universe is so crucial.
 

LightSun

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Part II.

This is why one needs to develop self-esteem and a healthy self-concept to truly know and acknowledge the beauty of the world. For an ISP/ESP, it may be different. This is why for greatest harmony to occur; both inner and outer realities need be balanced. Listen to this inner voice. I call it the universal consciousness. It is there.


It can help one perceive and pursue activity where one can enter into a state of "Flow." This is to discover one's inner gift. What one was made to do and to become? A person is not in a state of flow; one may resort to "distractions" & "Illusions" to fill a black hole in the human spirit. These people do these things, in an out of balance passion Sex, food, drugs, alcohol, a work addict, an approval addict, a love addict, shopping, video games, & anything out of balance! These people would do these activities constantly in order to feel good, for the moment, and get through life.


It brings no true lasting satisfaction! Generally there is no learning or growth in these activities. We as a human species seem to have a built in mechanism to "actualize “our self. That is to be the best that we can be at whatever our "gift" is, or special talent. The trick is to find that "hidden seed", that special uniqueness about our self. The next hurdle is get past lesser distractions that can impede our growth. These distractions are anything in life that occupies a lot of our time but is not an activity where one achieves "a state of FLOW". A state of flow is felt as "timelessness", and is a bit of "heaven" on earth.

New things scare people. This is why the young are more revolutionary. They see things don’t work and think they have all the plans to change things for the better, even resorting to violence. After all they can feel invulnerable, strong, and virtually impervious. Plus they happen not being enmeshed by illusionary qualities as wealth, a house, multiple possessions, a spouse and family, responsibilities as bills, so forth.

As a person grows stronger one finds oneself chained by invisible chains like the materialism in the world. They then also become the guarding force in their stone castles protecting the very things that possess them. Change is always difficult because we are comfortable doing things a certain way. We can resist change even if it is good for us in the long run.

Romana wrote, "...is this to be done? How do we know that our image of our self is accurate and not illusory, or biased by pride, guilt or wishful thinking?" This is an excellent question. We can never truly know Romana. One of the things ...I like about you is that we both seem to want to better ourselves, & know truth.
 

LightSun

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Part III.

It is a never ending journey. It seems we are born blind. Then we seek to establish an identity. Part of growth is if in fact not to tear that ego apart, at least be open to change. Be open-minded. It is not always easy. We are creatures of habit. If we learned distortions as a child they are hard to eradicate.

Part of my growth is cognitive awareness of negative emotions. I suppose to get more specific in line with your question; I look at non-triggerable person. If I see a person talk or write with negative language and labels I know that (1) person is triggered (almost possessed) by emotion & (2) that negative emotion contains distortions of thought.

There are elements of truth in a person who is triggered but they are camouflaged with lies, self lies, rationalizations and denial. This to me is the truest element of finding one's being. Always use love and reason even when you are not met with these qualities.


If triggered, (1) take full responsibility for your illogical thoughts & speech and try not to (2) not to act "under the influence" of irrationality, which is almost being under the influence of a drug. So to be able & look into the mirror of truth and have a true reflection one must contain the element of not being triggered. As long as we have this element of being triggered by negative emotion, we will always have an element of untruth.

All we can do is the best we can. Added to chaos is can we trust our own thoughts. Many things we have learned are wrong and it takes a lifetime to disentangle oneself from these lies, distortions even of stereotypes and prejudices and misconceptions we have picked up over a life times.


Our core beliefs are myths that we believe in, artificially prescribed norms of expected behavior. Will the sky fall down if we don't do what we are culturally expected to do? No.” LightSun
 

INTPness

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Take your focus/energy off of yourself and put it to helping others. Feeling down in the dumps? Go spend a day serving food to the homeless or volunteering at a non-profit. Food for the soul...
 

Asterion

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Take your focus/energy off of yourself and put it to helping others. Feeling down in the dumps? Go spend a day serving food to the homeless or volunteering at a non-profit. Food for the soul...

What do you do when the people you help are not grateful, and instead abuse your good intentions? That's not exactly going to make you very happy, despite the goodness you bring.
 

Qlip

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I have problems with the word happiness. It can mean a couple of things. A type of temporary high, and also a general satisfaction with life. People automatically associate being happy with never running into problems, never feeling pain, always getting pleasure, always gaining. I don't think you can ever achieve satisfaction in life if you don't find a way to get some sort of value from the less pleasurable moments of life. Turn problems into challenges, pain into experience, etc...
 

Halla74

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(1) Love thyself
(2) Embrace the eternal here and now
(3) Be thankful for what you have
(4) Help those who have less than you
(5) Smile!
(6) Find what it it is that you have a true passion for in life, embrace it, master it, and it will take you to all the farthest reaches of the Universe that you ever wished to experience
(7) Get married and have children, there is no greater joy than a happy, healthy family!
(8) Don't take any shit!


:solidarity:

-Halla
 
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