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  1. #11
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    5w4 sp/so


    As I grew up, my parents criticized/insulted me more than they praised me - not because they don't love me, of course, but because they wanted me to achieve more... make the most of my life. This imbalance certainly drove me to work harder (in order to avoid unpleasant confrontations) in school etc. but it also drove me away from my parents emotionally for many years. In my head I understood that they didn't mean to hurt my ego/feelings and whatnot, but still I spent a lot of time licking my wounds. I will admit that I had severe self-esteem issues at one point.

    I think that criticism helps a child become more successful in the long run... as long as praise is interspersed within all the criticism.
    Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so

    "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
    The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.

  2. #12
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Not at all. Praise is good while insults are bad for a person's development. This applies to other animals as well (think of training a dog, for instance).
    Some do train their children like dogs, while others educate them to take their place in society, and others help their children achieve their life goals.

    To train our children like dogs is the abusive form of chlld rearing, while educating children to take their place in society is the authoritarian form of child rearing, and the helping mode of chlld rearing helps the child achieve their life goals.

    The authoritarian form of chlld rearing is an improvemnt on the abusive mode of child rearing. And the helping mode is an improvement on the authoritarian mode.

    So as we become freer and more prosperous, our modes of childrearing also improve.

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