G
Glycerine
Guest
I wish my person was like #2 because with her she just blames everything on PMS and exhaustion and rarely acknowledges or understands where the other person is coming from because it's all the other person's fault for reacting that way.i really wish this were true for all people who do not apologize. in my experience, it is not. though i do know a few people like this. i think it's generally okay not to apologize as long as you acknowledge how your actions affect or may have affected others.
for example - two totally opposite examples of people who do not say "i'm sorry" --
- i had this old friend of my insult the crap out of me (unintentional but really blatant), then when i told her i was hurt and offended, she told me that she felt bad that i interpreted it like that, but she never acknowledged that her words may have conveyed a message of belittlement. she was taken aback by my statement and defended herself. her tone was self-righteous throughout our interactions.
[*]i have another friend who never really apologizes via "i'm sorry", but he'll say something like "maybe you were right about _____, i probably shouldn't have ______. i just did it because ______." - or "i can see how ______ could make you feel that way. but it wasn't my intention." and that's cool with me, because he's acknowledging the dynamic between us and the fact that he may have participated in the miscommunication. it's not really an apology, but it is an acknowledgment. that's what i'm looking for more than apology when i tell someone that i feel hurt or offended. just a demonstration that the other person does respect myself and my perspective, and did not intend to hurt me.
2 is so much different than 1 because 2 shows respect and compassion, even if it is not an explicit apology. 1 is just a fail. i don't speak with her anymore.